please expand..on how you 'dealt'..with entering
thy fathers house..on the..first occasion..following his departure..
your thoughts your feelings..its a time..to remember..those ahead..of us..share how you felt..looking upon them..the same.

we wernt 'allowed'..an open coffin
heart attacks [apparently]..dont look nice
[but thats only cause they harvested the organs.]

what did they tell you?
why are you afraid,..of death?
why are you afraid of living your awareness..for ever?

the father gave us our life
a living sperm..entered a living egg
the death of the father..is nothing as compared to mothER.

my father ..has allowed me to..reveal..'family secrets'
mt father..loved skirt..and he found the ultimate..with my mother.

her father didnt die..in..1954..her mother did
and the wolf swooped in..the father soon found another house slave
and duly was sent..to his daughter..to educate her..in/the ways..of woman..

well my/mother tried to/be mother..tried being lover
and got caught with fruit...[me]..ill begotten fruits..in her belly

anyhow she was sent away..from her home
explused..into the never never..[a dairy farm..in..gypsland]

mother told me recently..of..the day they arrived in the land/of the exiled..off the boat..a..small bag..and left on the dock/they found a train station..took the train..notified times etc..arrived in the middle of nowhere..into the dark night..leading..to information..

following this..they walked some distance..to the dairy farm
arriving finaly..at what was to be my birth place..wherein stands my birth tree..it was just before dawn..and they spotted the house

as they approached the light..came on
father knocked..the door opened..and they went to work..milking the cows..my earliest memories are..being tried to a tree..while my parents milked the cows twice per day.

my father earned his early release from/
in a life burden..the easy way

love you dad..i know we dont say such things before others
but old man..you dun well*[but father dont sit here by place they dont want me..me alone..please father go enjoy the fruits of thyne loins..im just fine

ast uwe beliefe
dank ye weell
tot zienze

your number one son*
johnnie

my paternal/father..allows me to speak
my father spirit..insists i..speak

my father..was never meant to be a milker
[fod gods sake jonnie..i was a fully trained fitter turner and welder
your mother was a fully trained secretary..did the compulary 'womans subjects[[cooking sewing you know huse stuff]

i wont speak..of the two years in..boer-[farmer]..hell
but i met a sales man..and became a great salesman..your playing the album..now..that i..gave you for..'helping'..me in my shop[lulu[..is the one you..chose..[lul=penus]..a boere lul..is an..insult..but i know dad was pleased.

anyhow he wanted tojoin..into this australia..with his mates
[in..the rsl]..anyhow long story..short..you recall we went to nederland..[holland]

ya fader..but ihave some news fader
on new years eve[at south bank]..ingoing to wear my bikie jacket
ya fader..im challanging..the free assosiatoion..LAW..

fader..please..
dont be like that
i..will play dead martin..and make you cry

yes i love you too..dad
it was good to see you..too
but dad..its something..ineed to do
they want me to explain..178808..yes father..i..know
but suicide by cop..isnt against the law..see you soonfather

yes iknow dad
of course i will father
[u2..what time?]..ok thanks dad

yep
me too
no..i.wont forget
tot siense fader..ya ya ik ook*

.

Thank you all for those interesting insights into your early life.

So I too am willing to play the game and say a few words of a personal nature on the subject.

I grew up in the belief that my father was dead. I had no idea how, why or when. It was a complete blackout. There was never any mention of my father in my family. Nobody ever raised the subject. Nobody ever asked any questions. That was the way it was. At school I said he was killed in the war. When I was older I put that on my cv.

I never really knew what happened to him. One memory I have of him is being thrown in the air and caught in his hands on the way down. I think it happened and I think it was him but I’m not absolutely certain. Another one is having lunch or dinner with him at his sister’s place in Kingaroy. We sat at a large rectangular wooden table and ate rabbit. There was a large bowl of apples and oranges on a wooden buffet near the table.

When I was thirteen I saw my mother crying for the first (and last) time. My brother, who was 18 months older than me, told me later that our father had just died. That was how I learned he was alive. His jeep turned over on the road north of Tennant Creek.

Nobody went to his funeral. Nor did anybody claim his belongings. Nobody from my family has ever been to Tennant Creek. It seems he was searching for gold.

My wife and I flew in to Tennant Creek from Darwin 50 years later and discovered he was buried under the name of one of my uncles whom I knew was buried in New Zealand. We found his grave and wired down some plastic flowers on it. It was too scorching hot and windy for anything else.

My brother told me later there was a little girl in the jeep too. Both my mother and brother are dead now.

.

banjo..your father..has heard..you
he shall present..himself before you this day..reflecting his qualities..in those you..shall meet..he did have gold fever..[he was driven..to/get that 'dream' strike..[he was closer than we know]..i suggest finding out more about/them..by talking to those who knew him.

there is a map apparently/the key to it your father shall give you this day..he has made many handshake deals..he is thrilled that you recall his flying trick...all the kids that knew him..know it...mum..sadly..hasnt taken..it all so well...but please..if its true[write him a letter][note particularly the errors..they are the key..;)

all thoughts will be important today
so make notes..[pick/up and note specifically..the message..of rubbish
you come across...on your dream/walk..[i..used to bag them..noting the KEY words..on/them/they blow people away..when they raise the issue..[key word]..and you wip it out..and say yes..i was told rthis earlier.

please note MOST importantly..is anger hurt avoidance
that begotten..by anger bear ill fruits..go for a walk with him
let the rubbish that comes your way..talk to..you for him..old men..prefer to listen..noone wants tohear why

he dont know why..he just wanted..the best..for those he LOVES ..even today..[you can help mum..by remembering all the good she did in raising you..plant a garden[or clean her garden]..dad loves his hand in/the dirt..so..2 mum..

there you go

my throat is there..do as you must.
[rubbish/in=rubbish/out]

thats the inputs..the fruit=up to you/more than/them
your father has now 'found'..his true/eternal-values.
says dont get/the fever...your more wealthy..now than/he ever was[for long].

walk/talk/listen/note.
spirit often replies as you ask/the question
repeats it endlessly..till..in a flash..you get it...when/you got it share it..[its the will to/share..thats even..more than/the sharing[careing]

Hi there BANJO PATERSON...

What an interesting account of what's known of your father's earlier history. It's always tragic, when circumstances do not permit a family remaining 'whole' for whatever reason.

I was not particularly close to my father, until his very last years. Seems, he was ashamed that I, his only son, sought the police as a career, after my discharge from the military ?

More often, dislocation of most families can be avoided, provided there's a fair bit of give and take by everyone concerned. When there's no capitulation reached, it's often because of some family member's stupid intransigency, or some other obscure self-absolving circumstance ? Such resultant failure, often means so much valuable time is lost, often lost irretrievably ! And one day BANJO PATERSON, the estranged member of the family, dies. Then it really is all too late ?

I wish you well my friend for the coming year of 2014.