Much hand wringing has come about as the result of the discovery, eight years after her death, of the body of Natalie Wood lying on the floor of her house. Apparently this reflects how heartless our society has become, or something, with suggestions that more should be done to ensure that such things don't happen again.

Yet I can't help wondering what would actually be achieved. There is, I suppose, sometimes, a narrow window of opportunity, during which an incapacitated person might be discovered still alive, and saved. But it is narrow, and absent some proactive step on the part of the person to protect themselves, there little short of persistent busy-bodying that would be of benefit. Certainly noticing that rates haven't been paid, or Centerlink benefits not spent, would do little more than ensure that the corpse is found sooner rather than later.

The busy-bodying aspect concerns me. If a person wants to live the life of a recluse, then why shouldn't they? In particular, they shouldn't have to put up with frequent intrusions by people who think they're being good citizens, but are in fact just sticking their noses in where they're not wanted. If there's public concern about people being incapacitated and unable to obtain help, then let the public finance technological solutions. But otherwise, let them keep their beaks to themselves.

the dead neither feel the heat nor the cold

grieve not for me...
who now glory in the heavens

but grieve for thyselves...
ye mortals thinking a man is his flesh

add not the burden's of the dead
she has long since broken here silence
where it matters...in the wholly spirit realms

set her free now
remove the traces of her flesh
that can only install guilt now..[dont add to my burden
dont drag me back to this hell you call reality]

im free
stop thinking about me
think more about the things you can change

there is no guilt
except for that we think we failed to do
but se your here[there]..especially..because there[here]
you are allowed to fail..allowed to ignore..if this is your choice

i long ago stopped ignoring others

now arround me
are only my others

leave her be
dont cleave her present spirit being
to the dead meat

no one did care for..
when"it"alone..seemed alive
and my spirit..seemed dead

who have you loved today
love life..cause it never ends*

Dear Sylvia Elise,

I totally disagree with you on this. Living the life of a recluse is not a choice most elderly people make. They do so for a variety of reasons be they financial, have no family, or in the worst case - don't have the mental capacity to make those sort of decisions for themselves. We should care about our neighbours, and keep an eye out for each other. Being left in privacy is one thing, but being neglected is quite another - and no one should be left to die without
anyone giving a damn and their body being found years later - that in my opinion at least - is simply wrong.

Compassionate as always, Lexi. But unrealistic in this instance.

>>We should care about our neighbours, and keep an eye out for each other<<

As it happens, I know the area well. It is a street whose start point is across the road from Central Station in Sydney. By any definition, an "inner-city" dwelling.

But the street itself is not even residential - the vast majority of properties are commercial premises, mostly in the "garment trade". If I remember that part of the street correctly, there are clothing businesses right next door, and opposite.

We are a long way from an area where you find neighbours chatting across the fence in the back yard. Or even where neighbours even know each other. It is entirely possible in this specific case that the people next door didn't share a language with our sadly departed lady.

You may be right, in that this is a less satisfactory way to live than yarning over the fence while hanging up the washing. But in the end we each have a choice, and if we choose to live anonymously in the middle of a big city, we should not expect the world to worry itself about us too much.

Dear Pericles,

I realize that city living is impersonal and often heartless. My question would be - where were her children (if she had any) or any family in this instance? Were there any social welfare groups that knew of this lady's existence? Even in a big city like Sydney was there any one at all who cared that this elderly woman was there alone? Surely even in a big city there must be a better way to deal with problems like these? Where are the salvos, religious organisations, or even council staff ("Meals on Wheels") or volunteers - was this her own property or was she renting? Someone surely knew she was there - but it seems nobody cared enough to make any sort of difference. And they should have. That as I said is my opinion and I'm sticking to it in this case.

Lexi, I'm pretty certain she wasn't renting. I can't remember the exact words now, but something in the news story made me think she owned the property. I kind of think that unless she had some sort of ongoing arrangement with the bank and a potential landlord/lady, e.g direct debit, I doubt she could have gone 8 years without the owner getting cranky. Even then, I find it hard to believe the council didn't want to know why the rates weren't being paid. If I fail to pay my rates, I cop interest in very short order and if that's not paid in sufficient time, the debt collectors are called in. But once again, even the rates may have been direct debited.

Dear Aimee,

Gee whiz. This really gets to me. I've got my mother who's suffering from dementia and a mother-in-law who's got alzheimers. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like if both of these elderly ladies lived alone with no one giving a damn. I shudder to think.

OUG thats a keeper.

Lexi, half my clients/residents are people who have either a mental illness or suffer from dementia and were living alone before they came to us. Under normal circumstances, somebody notices that they're incapable of living alone any further and a Government body will step in to rectify the situation. Sometimes these people have absolutely no insight and fight tooth and nail to stay right where they are and they can be very convincing, no matter how demented.

Yet there will always be others who, especially in this unfriendly and disjointed old world, keep to themselves and nobody seems to notice them. Some might call them a recluse, but more often than not they've simply drifted away from society.

Another issue that keeps arising in my line of work is where people are getting old and realise that they're slipping behind in their daily living activities. They realise that the next step is probably a nursing home and it's a thought many just can't stand, so they lock themselves away barely existing and actively seeking to dissuade contact for fear of being "taken away." I can sympathise with those people. Empathy is one of my stronger points and I can understand how these people feel to a great degree.

It may sound terrible Lexi that you think nobody cares enough to notice a person missing after all that time, but it's going on continuously. The only difference in this instance is that people didn't notice for eight years. I regularly hear of former clients who have been found up to several weeks after they've left our care and have died. They'll always be ones who fall through the cracks.

My great sadness is that people feel so scared about going into a home that they'll hide themselves away. These people often perceive (and rightly in a lot of cases) that the home they want to leave to their children as inheritance will have to be sold to fund their placement. Some simply can't face the fact that their useful life is drawing to a natural close. Some really don't have anybody to look out for them, as was the case with our '8 year' lady. There's lots of issues why this sort of thing happens, but lack of Government funding has a lot to do with it. If you're rich and can afford private accommodation in your twilight years, then you really have little to be concerned about, but those who have to endure a totally under funded public system that is little better than a human dumping ground have a lot to be fearful about and yes, I know how dedicated the staff are in those places, but the simple truth is that there are nowhere near enough of them on the ground.

The Government should make damned sure that the old people who helped put them into power by paying taxes all their working lives have at least enough staff to look after them towards the end, but fast broadband, Commonwealth games and other mindless distractions seem to be far more important.

As the Buddha said....... "Life is suffering!"

Everyone, young and old, deserves to choose freedom from society - but especially the old, especially those who have already paid their debts to society, who can now embark more seriously on the spiritual journey of abandoning their material and social addictions.

Most contributors suggested that the lady was alone, but just because someone has no people around does not imply that they were abandoned by God, whose company is far more rewarding than human company.

In ancient times, those older people who were more spiritually advanced went out to the forest (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vanaprastha), leaving behind most of their belongings and dedicating their life to purify their souls. Though ideal, nowadays there aren't as many forests left where people can just walk in and live a simple life out in nature, so adjustments have to be made and some people may live even in the city-center as if it were a forest.

Certainly the worst that can happen to one who is fairly ahead on the spiritual path, is to be treated as a body, which is what modern social institutions do. They don't care whether and to what extent we really live, they don't care for our spiritual progress, they have no understanding of who we are, all they care is to keep our heart pumping for as long as possible.

Western society has come to consider death as its enemy, but in reality death is our best friend. Naturally we are attached to our family and don't want them to leave us, but leave they must and leave they want eventually, especially when old, and it's better done gradually with grace than abruptly with guilt on both sides, so leaving for the forest is important for the family as well: in the ancient tradition, parents who lived in the forest still saw their offspring once or twice a year.

Of course the nursing-home and other social facilities are available, as should, for those of us who are not yet ready to retire from society, but the best among us should be respected and celebrated for their ultimate choices.

Let me ask a direct question.

Would it have made any practical difference if she'd been found the day after she died, rather than eight years later?

"Would it have made any practical difference if she'd been found the day after she died, rather than eight years later?"

Yes, to everyone else but her: to her heirs, to the council, to the power-supplier, to her neighbours, to people who are looking for a place to live, etc.

None of that justifies intruding on her life while she was alive.

Good question.

>>Would it have made any practical difference if she'd been found the day after she died, rather than eight years later?<<

Only that the "eight years" made it news. Otherwise it would not have made page 3 of The Australian.

But I suspect the reason that the "eight years" is news in the first place, is not about the neglect, or the lack of neighbourliness, or the dereliction of a Council's duty of care (whatever that might be).

It's about our fears over the manner of our own death.

So very... untidy.

Hello Lexi,
I agree with you, one would think that untouched funds in the Bank, letters hanging out of the mail box, and the general sense that nobody was 'home' would have, and should have set the alarm bells ringing.
Neighbors do not necessarily need to live in each others pockets, but I thought that it was the Austalian way to check on your neighbours, especially the elderly, every so often to make sure that they are not ill, or perhaps have broken a leg. Have we become too self centred that we are the only centred upon our selves and couldn't give a damn? if that is the case then I am appalled, perhaps those of us who are Seniors these days were raised in an era where people didn't have to be told to watch out for others, it sort of came naturally.
Pity we cannot turn back the clock.
Noisy Scrub Bird.

I don't think it matters a damn, how long the lady was dead. The thing that worries me is how she, & others like her, have died, & how long it may have taken.

Towards the end of my mothers life I found her, in her granny flat, on the floor, a couple of times. She had not fallen, but had obviously got down too low, to look in a low cupboard, & could not get back up.

She would potter most of the night, & sleep most of the day, so she could be moving around for 8 hours or so, between visits sometimes.

From her mid 90's she would often forget how to work the emergency call button around her neck. I shudder to think how long she, or any other, may lie there dying, in such circumstances.

Surely we could afford a daily check on the more infirm. A caller could make them a cup of tea as justification for checking on those more reclusive oldies.

Many of them could afford to pay a small price for this help, they don't spend all of their pension, as they eat or use so little.