Well I tuned in to a BBC current events program and what were they debating?

--Was it nuclear reactors blowing up in Japan?

--Was it war in Libya?

--Was it Saudi Arabia’s incursion into Bahrain?

--Was it the cricket world cup?

Nope.

None of the above.

They were debating – quite passionately I might add – a British TV series that is not “diverse” enough.

See:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12741847

I hereby offer some plots for a new “multicultural” Midsomer Murders series.

PLOT 1

A Muhammad al-Fayed character moves into the village. The plot goes as follows:

Muhammad's son, Dodi, is dating a member of the royal family. Both are killed in a car smash in Paris Street on the outskirts of Midsomer Parve. The coroner's verdict is that the smash was an accident. Muhammad insists his son was murdered.

Inspector Barnaby defies his superiors, investigates, and discovers that a Tea Party hit squad assassinated them.

PLOT 2

An asylum seeker takes refuge in the hunter's lodge, and accidentally gets killed by a hunting party. Full investigation by Barnaby and Jones, and it turns out it wasn't an accidental killing - a member of the BNP committed the murder!

I also cannot help noticing that “Neighbours” is not especially “diverse.” Before the “diversity police” take notice I suggest the following plot.

PLOT FOR NEIGHBOURS

The wall around the local Jewish school is defaced with swastikas. Suspicion falls on a Somali Muslim family who have recently moved into the neighbourhood and opened a coffee shop.

200 episodes later we learn that the real culprit is Lew who is actually Hitler’s secret son.

I do not seek any compensation if these plots are adopted.

In fact I would prefer it if the producers did not mention that they got the plot suggestions from me.

I also note that "Miss Marple" is diversity challenged.

Perhaps the next series could feature a black Miss Marple played by Whoopi Goldberg who lives in a tenement building called Saint Mary Meade in the Bronx.

Morgan Freeman would be an awesome Poirot with James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano) in the role of Inspector Japp.

Finaly I'm calling for diversity suggestions for "Home and Away". I think the introduction of a young character who is fat and not blue-eyed might be a useful start.

Hastings has asked me to inform you that he has no wish to work with "Hollywood types".

From his point of view, a highly-strung, ego-centric, mincing Belgian with magnificent moustaches is diversity enough.

(Who is this "Barnaby"?)

Mon Dieu!

Miss Marple and Poirot are fictional and based on Agatha Christie's books - you cannot just change the period to suit some skewed sense of multiculturalism. Poirot is Belgian, very exotic for the times and he (much to his chagrin) had to endure the odd ignorant comment about "those foreigners". See if England had not agreed to take those Belgian refugees, all those murders would have been left unsolved. Perhaps those more mature cohorts in "New Tricks" could have taken them on as cold cases.

There have been some positive changes thanks to political correctness such as re-naming Agatha Christie's earlier novel "Ten Little Ni*ers" so as not to offend to "And Then There Were None".

Most of the newer BBC series are very multicultural more reflective of the modern age. However it is not racist to make a movie that might not have represented every possible nationality. Just like a movie set in an Indian village should not have to worry about whether there is the token Englishman, German or Australian. As for Midsomer Murders (which is fictional) if the desired effect is the 'quintessential English village' I cannot see what all the fuss is about.

The statistics would suggest it is safer driving on the road than living in a quintessential English village. These English villages appear to be very dangerous, with Inspector Barnaby having to solve a series of murders usually in the one location. Maybe that is what is meant by Mad Dogs and Englishmen.

Dear Pelly,

Beautifully put!

Very true, Pelican,

The Miss Marple and Poirot novels written by Agatha Christie are formulaic - and it's a successful formula. Period and setting are all important to the attraction, and the same goes for the Midsummer plots.
They are what they are - surely over the top as are many of the examples in this genre.
However, "willing suspension of disbelief" is a well known device in literature, and works well when applied to this type of detective fiction and drama.
Diversifying this type of detective fiction would negate it's singular appeal.