Well I tuned in to a BBC current events program and what were they debating?

--Was it nuclear reactors blowing up in Japan?

--Was it war in Libya?

--Was it Saudi Arabia’s incursion into Bahrain?

--Was it the cricket world cup?

Nope.

None of the above.

They were debating – quite passionately I might add – a British TV series that is not “diverse” enough.

See:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12741847

I hereby offer some plots for a new “multicultural” Midsomer Murders series.

PLOT 1

A Muhammad al-Fayed character moves into the village. The plot goes as follows:

Muhammad's son, Dodi, is dating a member of the royal family. Both are killed in a car smash in Paris Street on the outskirts of Midsomer Parve. The coroner's verdict is that the smash was an accident. Muhammad insists his son was murdered.

Inspector Barnaby defies his superiors, investigates, and discovers that a Tea Party hit squad assassinated them.

PLOT 2

An asylum seeker takes refuge in the hunter's lodge, and accidentally gets killed by a hunting party. Full investigation by Barnaby and Jones, and it turns out it wasn't an accidental killing - a member of the BNP committed the murder!

I also cannot help noticing that “Neighbours” is not especially “diverse.” Before the “diversity police” take notice I suggest the following plot.

PLOT FOR NEIGHBOURS

The wall around the local Jewish school is defaced with swastikas. Suspicion falls on a Somali Muslim family who have recently moved into the neighbourhood and opened a coffee shop.

200 episodes later we learn that the real culprit is Lew who is actually Hitler’s secret son.

I do not seek any compensation if these plots are adopted.

In fact I would prefer it if the producers did not mention that they got the plot suggestions from me.

I also note that "Miss Marple" is diversity challenged.

Perhaps the next series could feature a black Miss Marple played by Whoopi Goldberg who lives in a tenement building called Saint Mary Meade in the Bronx.

Morgan Freeman would be an awesome Poirot with James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano) in the role of Inspector Japp.

Finaly I'm calling for diversity suggestions for "Home and Away". I think the introduction of a young character who is fat and not blue-eyed might be a useful start.

Hastings has asked me to inform you that he has no wish to work with "Hollywood types".

From his point of view, a highly-strung, ego-centric, mincing Belgian with magnificent moustaches is diversity enough.

(Who is this "Barnaby"?)

Mon Dieu!

Miss Marple and Poirot are fictional and based on Agatha Christie's books - you cannot just change the period to suit some skewed sense of multiculturalism. Poirot is Belgian, very exotic for the times and he (much to his chagrin) had to endure the odd ignorant comment about "those foreigners". See if England had not agreed to take those Belgian refugees, all those murders would have been left unsolved. Perhaps those more mature cohorts in "New Tricks" could have taken them on as cold cases.

There have been some positive changes thanks to political correctness such as re-naming Agatha Christie's earlier novel "Ten Little Ni*ers" so as not to offend to "And Then There Were None".

Most of the newer BBC series are very multicultural more reflective of the modern age. However it is not racist to make a movie that might not have represented every possible nationality. Just like a movie set in an Indian village should not have to worry about whether there is the token Englishman, German or Australian. As for Midsomer Murders (which is fictional) if the desired effect is the 'quintessential English village' I cannot see what all the fuss is about.

The statistics would suggest it is safer driving on the road than living in a quintessential English village. These English villages appear to be very dangerous, with Inspector Barnaby having to solve a series of murders usually in the one location. Maybe that is what is meant by Mad Dogs and Englishmen.

Dear Pelly,

Beautifully put!

Very true, Pelican,

The Miss Marple and Poirot novels written by Agatha Christie are formulaic - and it's a successful formula. Period and setting are all important to the attraction, and the same goes for the Midsummer plots.
They are what they are - surely over the top as are many of the examples in this genre.
However, "willing suspension of disbelief" is a well known device in literature, and works well when applied to this type of detective fiction and drama.
Diversifying this type of detective fiction would negate it's singular appeal.

I'll watch it. It's got no commercials. The thing about Midsummer Murders is that it works on the multiple killings formulae. It is truly amazing to me that so many people can be plausibly killed in a small English country hamlet every episode.

When they go on a killing spree, they really getting going behind those english country hedges and tudor style residences with ivy growing on them. You'll never know what your local pig farmer might have been up to all these years, if you don't watch Midsummer Murders.

It's a wonder that Inspector Barnaby hasn't run out of victims, in the vicinity of Courston.

In fact it's on now, I think I'll go and watch it. It's got no commercials.

Well I've just finished watching an episode of Midsommer which, as usual, I thoroughly enjoyed.

And so to bed.

I also just finished watching Midsommer Murders - emjoyed it. I also enjoyed the earlier series of Bergerac set on Jersey also starring John Nettles. Great stuff.

Off to bed for me as well.

Good-night Poirot, Good-night Pelly, Good-night Steven...

There may not be much diversity in Midsomer Murders, but when viewed as a part of the broader British crime genre, it certainly serves its multicultural purpose. It shows quite clearly that even rich white people who don't live in inner-city tenements can go around killing each other. That's why I love it!

Of course, DCI Barnaby could always take his wife on a much-needed holiday and be replaced for a couple of episodes by Acting DCI Bin-Abdul, an equally brilliant detective who overcomes prejudice and wins over the people of one hamlet after another. Or not.

Out of interest, does anyone here know how diverse the populations of hamlets in the moors actually are? My grandparents used to live out that way, and only ever spoke of white people, but that doesn't mean much. They came from Africa, so an abundance of black people may just seem normal to them and unworthy of mention.

Lexi, how could you?

Bergerac was not only more multiculturally challenged than Midsomer, it was also politically incorrect in that he went around in an ostentatious petrol guzzling mid 40s sports car.

I am really quite surprised at you.

Hasbeen,

No accounting for taste is there? The heart loves what it loves (sigh).

"Bergerac was not only more multiculturally challenged than Midsomer, it was also politically incorrect in that he went around in an ostentatious petrol guzzling mid 40s sports car"

Hasbeen,

How could you? The engine was a mere 1,776cc in capacity and when I drove one I regularly got around 30mpg to 35mpg depending on wether I was being lead footed or not. Mine had been fitted in 1950 with a Riley gearbox and overrive. The standard models were not thirsty however.

Is Mise, how on earth did you manage to be always going down hill. That's the only way that Ferguson tractor engine could have managed over 30 MPG. Even in my Morgan it could never get that high, & the Morgan was only 14 hundredweight.

They weren't successful, & Triumph quickly replaced them with the TR2/3/3A range.

They were pretty lousy cars, really, & I have always desperately wanted one. I make do with 3 later TRs.

It gets worse. You might not be aware that the European Union has rules
about discriminating against indigenous people.
It was recently ruled that the people of England are the aborigines of
England and that ITV could be presecuted for discrimination.

Imagine the rumpus if we forced aborigines to include white people in
a film they were making on aborigine life.

Sad, isn't it Bazz.

>>It was recently ruled that the people of England are the aborigines of England and that ITV could be presecuted for discrimination.<<

All that wasted time and money on making petty, stupid rules that bear absolutely no relation to real life whatsoever.

The article mentioned in the OP is horrifying in parts, and reassuring in others.

The horrifying:

"A study in 2006 found the programme to be "strikingly unpopular" with viewers from ethnic minorities."

So effing what?

There are many programmes on television that are "strikingly unpopular" with me. I do the sensible thing, and turn them off. I don't call for their producers to be suspended from their duties - much as I think it would be a far too lenient a punishment, for example, for inflicting Eddie McGuire on us, yet again.

Suspended by the toenails from the West Gate Bridge would be far more appropriate, but that's for another time.

There is still hope, though.

Ash Atalla (Egyptian, in a wheelchair) stated: "We have to be careful about seeking out something that offends us and then complaining."

With luck, we'll soon be seeing the tide turn against gratuitous claims of "I'm offended", coupled with unbridled political correctness - which latter is fast becoming a parody of itself.