The mumbo jumbo is really a long winded way of saying just what you did Hasbeen ie. companionship, support and friendship are equally important to women and men.

Dear RObert,

You might enjoy this:

Billy Connolly, in his book, "Journey To The Edge of
The World."

says:

"I love the camaraderie of men, and I miss the
people that I've had it with in the past. I miss
my welder friends; I miss my cigar store friends,
I miss my army friends. There is pleasure in
men's company, a real manly thing that a lot of men
miss out on. For some reason, men keeping the
company of men is frowned upon by bullies (male and
female) who don't know what it is ...

People assume when we are in men's company that we talk
about sex all the time, which is the most ludicrous
thing I've ever heard. We talk about all sorts of
wonderful things - politics and life in general.
Unlike women, men tend not to speak about their feelings,
but they do have other problems to deal with ... like
matters of the soul, or how not to be humiliated or
belittled. Men don't want to be fired, or left out or
have promotions bypass them. They have status problems
and worry about their position in society, in the family,
at work. Talking about that gives rise to all sorts of
highlights of my life that have happened in male
company roaring with laughter, deeply moved or
listening to somebody talking about the death of a parent
in a way he wouldn't open up with a woman.

Men are a
deeply misunderstood species, and the situation doesn't seem
to be getting any better because we have enemies within ...
especially in the media who perpetuate pish about men
and a stereotype of them which is untrue...

The last time I was in Vancouver my favourite smoke shop,
the Havana Room, had to close down. We were no longer
allowed to smoke in the most beautifully ventilated
place in the middle of a cigar store. How anyone could
wonder by and accidentally inhale this smoke defies
gravity never mind logic. In the same week they opened
a place where you can go and fix heroin."

Foxy, that quote from Billy Connelly was wonderful! He is absolutely my most favourite comedian.

He does tend to bring up men's problems even in his comedy routines.
I have never recovered from his amazingly funny skit about the time he went to have his prostate checked, and another time he went to have a colonoscopy!
I am sure he encouraged other men to go and have these tests just because he did!

RObert, another suggestion I have for men to seek out help for either physical or mental health problems is to ask at their local GP surgery for a GP who specializes in, or has a special interest, in male health problems.

I found such a GP at our practice and my husband has seen him ever since. This GP ensures my husband has every test imaginable every year!

Interesting topic. From what I've heard about "Men's sheds" they are a worthy initiative for those men who need them. Personally, I prefer my own shed.

However, I spend plenty of time with men - at least, as much as I want. Admittedly, it's either at the pub or fishing, camping etc. But all of those venues allow for a vast array of conversations, a la Billy Connolly's list I guess. I've discussed all sorts of stuff with mates around the campfire with a few beers etc. We only do it because it's therapeutic, of course.

I started to read the 'Shame-o-Phobia' article, and while it didn't provoke quite the reaction in me that it did with Hasbeen, I also found it a bit of a wank. Frankly, if some guy has a personal crisis about carrying his partner's handbag across a plaza, I think it's indicative of an unusually fragile sexuality, to the point of pathology.

While I guess that's the point of the article, I don't think most men are quite that silly. However, it's also generally true that many men have been socialised to repress their feelings and have relative difficulty in expressing them.

Speaking of which - Hasbeen, you seem a bit down at the moment, particularly with respect to women. Perhaps you need a man-hug?

Or a single malt on the rocks... or both :D

Thanks for the thought CJ.

I've been struggling with an upgrade to the old Triumph TR8 I share with my son, at least when he comes home. He decided it needed another 100BHP upgrade to the injection system, & the manifolding.

The main problem is that none of the old stuff works with the new, & this modern stuff on my old 1979 car is almost beyond me. A bit of a steep learning curve for an old bloke. Of course he left it for me to install, & tune.

That was bad enough, then my mum died last week. She was 99, & starting to have a fair bit of pain, so I don't think she minded much, but I did. She used to love going for long slow drives in the country, with the top down. Unfortunately, the last couple had to be short ones, to avoid stressing her.

All in all, it has not been a happy couple of weeks. Right now, most of the things which would be a happy distraction, are becoming more of a chore.

Hi Hasbeen. So sorry to hear about your Mum - you've mentioned her here a few times. I lost mine a few years ago, so I have some idea how you must be feeling.

Still, 99's a pretty good run, eh? I'll have a scotch for her, and one for you too :)

P.S. I used to have a wonderful old (1973?) Triumph 2500 saloon. Not a sports machine like the TR8, but a beautiful motor car to drive. Maybe your son might find time to come home and finish the upgrade?

Cheers mate.