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The Forum > General Discussion > I'm not sure this is the answer?

I'm not sure this is the answer?

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Australia already has such a law it is in the Family Law Act.
It is currently used to imprison partners in South Australia,especially it is focused on Aboriginals.
The French act will target Arabs in France.
Again Australia leads the way in discrimination.
Posted by BROCK, Wednesday, 6 January 2010 10:08:05 AM
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I think it's a great idea even if it only spreads awareness of the issue of psychological abuse. A lot of abusers are without the faintest inkling, I suspect, that they're offending, believing that their intimidatory conduct (usually aimed by men at women and children) is the manly way to represent oneself. Of course I haven't defined my notion of psychological abuse. Perhaps later.
Posted by Squeers, Wednesday, 6 January 2010 10:37:59 AM
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Squeers: believing that their intimidatory conduct (usually aimed by men at women and children)

Ah Ha. See the mistaken belief. ALWAYS blame men.

Of course I haven't defined my notion of psychological abuse. Perhaps later.

Well here's a few from women to men to start with; nagging, silent treatment, never do anything right, withholding sex as a punishment, crying as a tool to get your own way OR ELSE, demanding your own way OR ELSE, Sulking to get your own way OR ELSE, threatening to take the children away or not to see again, stalking (Fact: There have been more cases against women than against men).

The start of a long list that I'll leave for others to finish. Keep it going men.
Posted by Jayb, Wednesday, 6 January 2010 11:14:06 AM
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JayB said - My God. That'll put about 90% of women in deep Poo Poo won't it.

Then JayB replied to Squeers -Ah Ha. See the mistaken belief. ALWAYS blame men.

Think hypocrisy. Why is it okay for JayB to make a derogatory comment about women but not okay for Squeers write a similar comment about men.

Back to the content. This could be minefield depending on how it is applied and defined.

As StG said how would you prove an extreme case of psychological abuse, and what one person thinks is nagging another person might think is just asking someone to help with a chore (either gender applies). Would saying you look fat in those pants count as abuse?

How far should government's go in interfering in people's lives? There is a horrible PC world bandied about - enabling - but in some ways those who are being bullied or harassed in the home by constant put downs also enable the behaviour by staying. If it is that bad get out. Men and women who bully only continue to do so when there are no repercussions or if they get away with it.

We can only be abused if we let ourselves be abused. (I wish to differentiate this type of abuse from physical abuse as there are other factors at play here although some of the same applies)

Perhaps we need to support those who wish to leave partnerships where there is overt psychological abuse and help them become independent - such as in those cultures where one gender has supreme power over another by virtue of law or cutural values.

There has to be some point where we have to take personal responsibility in our private lives and where there are constraints to that ensure there is support.
Posted by pelican, Wednesday, 6 January 2010 2:19:37 PM
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Excellent post, Pelican, and I have to acknowledge to Jayb that men also feel themselves to be victims of psychological abuse. In fact, during my first marriage I often felt exactly as he describes, though upon reflection I can see that it was as much my fault as hers. At the end of the day, I think this perennial problem between the sexes is due to a fundamental incompatibility between the sexes in the context of our civilised world. Our ideals of equality are perhaps an imposition upon the state of affairs that might prevail in nature, outside culture. Most, if not all, species have a sex that dominates. In humans, the male seems to take on that role as a rule; women are the patient negotiators within the status quo, they work within the parameters of patriarchal society. This "natural" state of affairs is perhaps disrupted by notions of absolute equality?
I do agree that the last thing we want is to have our lives run by government and regulation, but then cultural constraints are just as intrusive at the psychological level. Indeed, I would question that there is any spontaneity left. Culture pretty much runs itself, and far more dictatorially than government ever could.
At the most basic level, it's probably fair to say that high levels of psychological of physical abuse, in heterosexual relationships, is evidence that culture's got it wrong; or perhaps that humans are still not sufficiently civilised for our cultural ideals.
Posted by Squeers, Wednesday, 6 January 2010 3:37:21 PM
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Most parents who don't smack their kids would be charged by any laws relating to psychological violence. A quick smack on the bum usually prevents much psychological mumbo jumbo.
Posted by runner, Wednesday, 6 January 2010 6:47:22 PM
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