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The Forum > General Discussion > Wiper your feet, dear.

Wiper your feet, dear.

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Stay at home offspring.
In the hope of no-one misinterpreting anything I say, let me make myself clear.
I have no strong opinion either way, I can see good and MILDLY ďbadĒ aspects of the situation.
There is apparently a trend towards the young staying at home much later than previous generations, even into their thirties, itís been widely publicized.
My own kids branched out early, 18-20, they had grown up expecting and planning to, and I thoroughly trained them. Iím an arrogant s.o.b., some people tell me, and I wanted my own freedom. I never truly felt I was cut out to be a parent, so I worked (*) hard at getting it right, as I saw it. I tried to learn from everyone and everything, and it rubbed off on the spratts. Independent little sods, lol, but close, we keep in contact via web-cam etc.

I wonder what otherís experiences have been, or are?
I also wonder if it helps, these days, if it allows parents who missed out on so much through work commitments earlier, to finally bond more closely with their adult family?
Posted by Maximillion, Friday, 3 July 2009 4:12:45 PM
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I'm 81 have and have never left home. My 2 children have never left home, even though they have partners and now grown children.

I inherited my properties from my parents, and they will be passed on to my children when I die. They currently manage the properties. I also have 2 aboriginal "children", that my wife and I had a hand in raising a long time ago, and even though they're not here now I'm proud to say they still call me dad.

We have 2 quite different Australias: There's the people from the towns and cities, then there's the people who live on the land. The standards, morality and outlook of the two groups are quite different.
Posted by Master, Saturday, 4 July 2009 6:00:19 PM
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Master that was interesting and lovely that you are dad to the two aboriginal girls... I would from a personal point of view say you are so lucky and I am so jealous. Iím jealous of your life and of your childrenís lives and probably your grandchildren. I think every country has the two sides, people in the country and people in the towns... often it isnít a choice that creates the two groups.

I would have done anything growing up to have such a stable family and living on a farm would have been a dream come true. My fathers father went off to war with my oldest uncles. For years my father ran the farm as he was too young to go. When his dad died he only left it to the two eldest, dad had to leave. I am a city kid and so are my kids.

I donít think my own children would probably be happy away from town now but then they didnít get a chance to find out what a life like that is. I still would prefer some land to foster kids on so they can have a chance at both lives.

Max, I donít think I can comment on bonding with adult children Ė the boy turned 19 today and he left home awhile ago (he has a hangover today). The girl is 17 and living in a flat attached to the house and I pretend she has already gone.

I do remember my generation being called the boomerang one and the one that stayed home to long Ė I suspect it has always been like this and just acknowledged every 20 years. I left at 17, by 18 my parents had left NZ to come here to live. Thereís a clear message about not coming back!
Posted by The Pied Piper, Saturday, 4 July 2009 6:37:46 PM
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Master, you demonstrate your total separation from the world most aussies live in, you are a total upper-class twit, you would do us all a favour if you destroyed your 'puter, please do so immediately!
Posted by Maximillion, Saturday, 4 July 2009 7:31:28 PM
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Maximillion,

I have 3. The oldest left home to go to uni. She loves her independence and being away from the sports mad brother who insist on watching every ball game on TV. She now loves to come home knowing she can go away to peace. My oldest son left home at 18 and brought his own house. He has a work ethic and maturity well beyond what mine was at that age. He now spends more time at my home than when he lived here. My youngest is off to uni next year. He is the sports nut (both as a player and observer). If we lived in the city I doubt whether he would leave home. He has it to good.

Personally I love having all of them home. We were blessed enough to spend some years home schooling our kids (away from the zoo) and have bonded with all three although each one is very unique in personality. Anyone of them will be welcome home at anytime.

I consider I have done an average job as a parent but am very thankful that all 3 kids have turned out to be successful in their chosen paths. The most important thing I have taught them in life is to love God and love people. If they continue on in this I have been a success. IF they don't I consider myself a failure.
Posted by runner, Saturday, 4 July 2009 7:35:42 PM
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Runner, like you we home schooled our children, and you're right, it does promote a great bond between parent and child.
Posted by Master, Saturday, 4 July 2009 7:43:11 PM
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