Stay at home offspring.
In the hope of no-one misinterpreting anything I say, let me make myself clear.
I have no strong opinion either way, I can see good and MILDLY “bad” aspects of the situation.
There is apparently a trend towards the young staying at home much later than previous generations, even into their thirties, it’s been widely publicized.
My own kids branched out early, 18-20, they had grown up expecting and planning to, and I thoroughly trained them. I’m an arrogant s.o.b., some people tell me, and I wanted my own freedom. I never truly felt I was cut out to be a parent, so I worked (*) hard at getting it right, as I saw it. I tried to learn from everyone and everything, and it rubbed off on the spratts. Independent little sods, lol, but close, we keep in contact via web-cam etc.

I wonder what other’s experiences have been, or are?
I also wonder if it helps, these days, if it allows parents who missed out on so much through work commitments earlier, to finally bond more closely with their adult family?

I'm 81 have and have never left home. My 2 children have never left home, even though they have partners and now grown children.

I inherited my properties from my parents, and they will be passed on to my children when I die. They currently manage the properties. I also have 2 aboriginal "children", that my wife and I had a hand in raising a long time ago, and even though they're not here now I'm proud to say they still call me dad.

We have 2 quite different Australias: There's the people from the towns and cities, then there's the people who live on the land. The standards, morality and outlook of the two groups are quite different.

Master that was interesting and lovely that you are dad to the two aboriginal girls... I would from a personal point of view say you are so lucky and I am so jealous. I’m jealous of your life and of your children’s lives and probably your grandchildren. I think every country has the two sides, people in the country and people in the towns... often it isn’t a choice that creates the two groups.

I would have done anything growing up to have such a stable family and living on a farm would have been a dream come true. My fathers father went off to war with my oldest uncles. For years my father ran the farm as he was too young to go. When his dad died he only left it to the two eldest, dad had to leave. I am a city kid and so are my kids.

I don’t think my own children would probably be happy away from town now but then they didn’t get a chance to find out what a life like that is. I still would prefer some land to foster kids on so they can have a chance at both lives.

Max, I don’t think I can comment on bonding with adult children – the boy turned 19 today and he left home awhile ago (he has a hangover today). The girl is 17 and living in a flat attached to the house and I pretend she has already gone.

I do remember my generation being called the boomerang one and the one that stayed home to long – I suspect it has always been like this and just acknowledged every 20 years. I left at 17, by 18 my parents had left NZ to come here to live. There’s a clear message about not coming back!

Master, you demonstrate your total separation from the world most aussies live in, you are a total upper-class twit, you would do us all a favour if you destroyed your 'puter, please do so immediately!

Maximillion,

I have 3. The oldest left home to go to uni. She loves her independence and being away from the sports mad brother who insist on watching every ball game on TV. She now loves to come home knowing she can go away to peace. My oldest son left home at 18 and brought his own house. He has a work ethic and maturity well beyond what mine was at that age. He now spends more time at my home than when he lived here. My youngest is off to uni next year. He is the sports nut (both as a player and observer). If we lived in the city I doubt whether he would leave home. He has it to good.

Personally I love having all of them home. We were blessed enough to spend some years home schooling our kids (away from the zoo) and have bonded with all three although each one is very unique in personality. Anyone of them will be welcome home at anytime.

I consider I have done an average job as a parent but am very thankful that all 3 kids have turned out to be successful in their chosen paths. The most important thing I have taught them in life is to love God and love people. If they continue on in this I have been a success. IF they don't I consider myself a failure.

Runner, like you we home schooled our children, and you're right, it does promote a great bond between parent and child.

depends on why the young are staying at home much later
than previous generations.
they might be helping the elderly.

Dear Max,

I don't believe that you're an arrogant
'S.O.B.' as you describe yourself in your
opening post. I get the distinct impression
that you're not the 'tough guy,'
that you pretend to be. A man who so
obviously loves his children - as you seem to
do has to be a real 'softie,' under all that facade.

My children (although they're both adults now) no longer
live at home. They lived with us well into their twenties.
We're a closely-knit family - and I'm proud of the way
both boys have grown into responsible adults. Parenting is
a learning process for all of us. We learn by making
mistakes. It's a twenty-four-hour-a-day profession: being
a parent. I think that most important gift any parent
can give to the world is a child who's been raised to be
a happy and secure human being.

Fingers-crossed that I succeeded.

Lol, thou hast sprung me, Oh Fair Vulpine Maid.

Yep, got a big sook hiding inside, and I like being like that!
One way or another I’ve developed to be who and what I am, and have been, but when I was a kid I swore to myself I would never forget what it was like, what it felt like, and I haven’t. I promised myself that when I became an adult I would remember the child, and he’s still in me, loved and protected, though only my kids have really met him.
That has enabled me to be the parent I was, and now am, to my adult kids.
I have shed tears, playing out a movie scene, I held my infants up to the stars, and showed them what they could have if only they tried hard enough. I wept as I delivered them, that changes a bloke forever, let me tell you!
It doesn’t change the rest of me overly, but it’s nice to know it’s there, and it helps on the odd occasion, such as tiny babies with unconscious mothers, that sort of thing.
A practical use for a weakness, lol.
As for the “sob”, I declare it with pride, lol, you should meet my mum, she’s the most wonderful, aggravating, loveable, “b” on the planet, mad as a cut snake, irrepressible, and a brilliant grandmother!
(But still a “b”, lol)

Dear Max,

Thank You for confirming what I felt about you
to be true.

I don't have the answers to the big questions in life.
I'm still on my own road to discovery.

I'm thrilled though, that you still acknowledge the
child within you...

This is something you may enjoy:

"Here's to the kids who are different;
the kids who don't always get A's,
the kids who have ears
twice the size of their peers,
Or noses that go on for days.

Here's to the kids who are different,
the kids who are just out of step,
the kids they all tease,
who have cuts on their knees
and whose sneakers are constantly wet.

Here's to the kids who are different,
the kids with a mischievous streak,
for when they have grown,
as history has shown,
it's their difference that makes them unique."
-Digby Wolfe.

Take care Maxi!