Dear David f,

I don't know if suicide is ever justified. It would be
very difficult however to judge someone else, unless
you've walked in their shoes. A terminally ill person
for example. Who knows what you'd do under those
circumstances.

However, I could have used a crisis centre to call a
few years ago. My life was hell. We had returned to
Melbourne after living overseas for nine years and moved
in with my husband's parents. "It's only temprorary dear,"
my husband told me. "Until we find a place of our own."
I believed him.

Moving in with my in-laws, I suddenly
found myself in a very blinkered, narrow environment,
where things were done only one way.
There was no midway path.

My in-laws saw the world in terms of
black and white.

"Our son used to be
such a good boy, when he lived at home,"
my mother-in-law would tell me constantly.

Not knowing that her son at a very early age kept the truth from
them. They didn't realize that their son had been taught by them
to avoid confrontation at all costs. "Tell them what they
want to hear." My husband would tell me. "Then do want you want."
I considered that dishonest. But when my mother-in-law smugly
told me, "You know dear, we go to church every Sunday!"
I couldn't resist the come-back, "Perhaps you need to."
And then I cringed thinking, "God'll get me for this!"
But as always the remark had gone over my mother-in-law's head.

I remember writing in my diary:

"What was he like in his youth, this man I now call 'Father?'
My husband's father, my children's grandfather
The signs of age are creeping up on him
He keeps score of everything that displeases him
Writes it down in his book of accounts."

Still, as the years flew by, my relationship with my in-laws
mellowed. I perserved in trying to please them.
My father-in-law died at the age of 91.
Today, I care for my-mother-law who has alzheimers.

I think that we should strive to be happy and enjoy every day,
for it is all about enjoying the journey of life, not arriving
at the destination.

In my experience, people are happiest when they have a purpose
in their lives. What that purpose is, can be quite different and
is up to each of us to decide, for we are each quite different.

I don't believe in Col's "free will" theory, the neuroscience
does not back it up, neither does my experience of life. But
I admit that at first it does seem to be so, until you dig a little
further.

Genetics and environment have shaped who we are, both matter.
We are only aware of a tiny fraction of what is going on in
those brains of ours, the rest operates at the subconcious level,
affected by genes, hormones, neurotransmitters etc.

Studies of identical twins split up at birth, kind of prove
the point. They "choose" very similar things, alot of the
time.

So I think we are kind of "driven" more then we acknowledge
or often want to admit.

For instance, since I was a kid, I have always been pretty
untidy :). Yet I have the ability to focus on the big picture,
not the little picture. Others are different, they fuss over
every little detail. I have a great memory for numbers, but
cannot remember names. That is just how the genes fell when
my mum and dad got kinky lol.

So I think that we have to accept our natural attributes and
our bad points and make the best of how the dice fell at
conception.

I'm happiest being me as I am, faults and all. I don't try
and change me into something that I am not

Davidf,
Think yourself lucky your wife only throws paper aeroplanes at you, my wife got us banned from Tullamarine for throwing the real thing at me, I ducked :-)
I'm not sure if your question is serious but I’ll treat it as it is.
The services (multiple) numbers are usually in the front of the telephone book.

The reasons are many and varied as are the degree of the threat or risk.
Some ring to tell someone why they're going to suicide.
Some do so as a last resort (“give me a reason why I shouldn’t”, “are there any other options”.)
Some ring to tell someone why they're going to do it.
Some call to confirm their decision almost a check list recitation. “I’ve done this and then this…” and “This is my life I have nothing else to live for.”
Some are psychotic
All are in crisis and need the psychological bandaid to tie them over.

Not quite what you asked but caller present in different ways. Contrary to common belief not all ‘serious’ calls are from callers who sound depressed some are quite calm and resolved.
Then there are the silent or monosyllabic ones.

In the role it isn’t the counsellor’s views that are the issue it is the callers’. You can’t afford to be in the slightest … judgemental. Objective and empathetic it’s all non directive counselling. The counsellor is there to help people deal with issue in their way.
My opinions didn’t and still don’t matter with regards to other people.
Suffice to say that absolutes are desirable for targets but not something to enforce on others, context is everything.

Dear examinator,

Your wife threw a real airplane at you? Do you know the origin of the term, aerodynamics? Eros is the Greek God of love and dynamics refers to motion.

I am totally serious in asking about suicide. My wife and I are members of Voluntary Euthanasia that works for re-enacting legalised physician assisted suicide. Australia had such a law in the Northern Territory. Rights of the Terminally Ill (ROTI) was overturned by act of the Commonwealth Parliament over ten years ago. Before the law was overturned four people had availed themselves of its provisions.

I believe that people should have the right to commit suicide and others should not be legally condemned in helping them out.

I do not think suicide should be encouraged or that people in desperate situations should not be helped, but I think in some cases suicide is the least bad alternative.

The early Christian Church did not condemn suicide. In the early Christian era suicide was not only tolerated, but condoned by the church, as a result certain sects such as the Donatists and the Circumcellions jumped off cliffs in great numbers to hasten an afterlife that promised greater rewards than those found on earth.

Faced with the loss of so many of its members, in (about) the sixth century the church decided that anyone else who committed suicide was going to hell.

The Donatists, of whom St Augustine said, "...to kill themselves out of respect for martyrdom is their daily sport" were noted for jumping from cliffs, and also burned themselves to death in large numbers.

The Donatists are probably best known for their practice of stopping travelers and either paying them or threatening them with death to encourage them to kill the, presumably, heaven-bound martyr. The Donatists were eventually declared heretics and violently suppressed.

Davif and wife,

No David it wasn't a General Dynamics plane (they're military) it was only a regional Fokker Friendship you should have seen the looks of surprise on the crew & passengers' faces. The way the authorities carried on you would have thought it was something serious like a 747 or something...fair go she's only 5'2". (Joke pythonesque response to throwing paper planes) :-)

I can understand why the Donatists and Circumcellions aren’t big today…I can think of a bunch of people (namely polies) who should join them though.

We are getting well off topic
Now the serious bit
At the risk of seeming like a Foxy fan (which I unashamedly am in many issues) I generally concur with her view in that it is a highly personal choice and unless you walk in their shoes you can’t know.

As a counsellor personal opinions were/are an unwanted distraction. It was all about applying the ‘psychological bandaid’ (‘crisis intervention’) not attempt to supply solutions or cures to the caller. The fundamental moral choice was not mine to make or judge. I was not there to dissuade or agree with either outcome.

If you are wondering if I dealt with terminally ill callers the answer is yes a few. Again I was there to help them cope nothing else.

Their ultimate outcome was not my objective to do so would have been.
• Overrating my importance/role.
• Disrespecting their decision.
• Set my self up for conflicts with both the caller and within me both of which would have ended badly.
Even today I still see that my opinion on the subject is contextually based and subject to change.
BTW much of this is ancient history now.

I do have grave reservation about lobby organizations as my experience they tend to be both dogmatic and wracked with personalities and politics. The latter feature often tend to outweigh, swamp objectivity and a bigger more relevant/proportional focus.

Dear David f,

Are you familiar with Dr. Philip Nitschke?

He founded 'Exit International.' It's a leading
voluntary Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide Information
and Advocacy Organisation.

Dr Nitschke ran for office in our electorate against
Kevin Andrews during the last election. I heard Dr
Nitschke speak and was most impressed. He struck me
as a very passionate and caring man.