Pynchme

You have just asked the one question I have been wanting to ask.

Why is there not a shred of empathy or at the very least sympathy for the female experience?

As you say, R0bert has received pages of support, links and understanding, yet when Romany wrote about her need for surgery as a result of DV, she gets called a "man-hater" - which amazingly she simply isn't.

Given that rates of female violence are lower than for men when women do behave violently or abusively it receives far more attention. Remember Bobbit? World wide news. But a woman having her genitals reconstructed after being sexually abused doesn't even make into the local paper.

Women's violence is seen as more sensational, rare, and unexpected than men's violence, as a result it is over reported or overemphasized in the news media. And men are well positioned to control how issues are addressed in popular culture: more men control the networks, the news media, and the decision-making about what goes on TV.

I find it deeply disturbing that there are people, like Antiseptic, who cannot see that there is an enormous difference between domestic violence and general violence in the community.

Where does a victim of violence go when the dangerous place is your own home? Can you not even sort of imagine what it is like when it is SAFER out on the streets, no matter what time of day, then at home?

As female posters have noted, these kind of threads generally turn into circular arguments for a number of men.

It still astounds me why the men on this forum who complain about their lack of victim status of violence do not confront male upon male violence. But then I suppose that does not fulfill their need to see themselves as justified to be mistrustful of women in general. And that is what it is really all about.

Just for you Romany,

' but after poring over literally hundreds of posts from Antiseptics, U.S's. etc posting history '

Fractelle:"Why is there not a shred of empathy or at the very least sympathy for the female experience"

How many times do you need to hear "Oh, you poor thing"?

Why do men who are not violent and never have been violent have to constantly justify themselves to you? Why can you not simply acknowledge that Romany's summing-up is reasonable and move on? Why do you feel your position is so weak that you need to misrepresent the posts of those who disagree with you?

Needless to say, these questions require some introspection on your part, so it's unlikely you'll do more than skim them and then repost the same crap you've been posting ad nauseum here. Seriously, Fractelle, you're better than that, but you're allowing yourself to be sidetracked by ninnies. Take it as read that noone condones any violence you may have experienced and move on.

Anansi:"I find it deeply disturbing that there are people, like Antiseptic, who cannot see that there is an enormous difference between domestic violence and general violence in the community."

The main difference as it has been put here is that domestic violence victims are often female, wheras the victims of violence outside the home are enormously more likely to be male. It seems that some here see violence directed at women as worse than violence directed at men, which was the point of the original post by R0bert. So far, the DV industry shills are doing their best to ignore that and confine the discussion to DV.

Anansi:"do not confront male upon male violence"

I refer you to my post made on Friday, 10 October 2008 9:16:21 AM. Also my post made on Thursday, 9 October 2008 11:31:01 AM. there are numerous others which you could have a look at, but beware, they may challenge your preconceptions.

Pynchme:"your view that the specific differences that distinguish DV from other types of community violence are irrelevant "

That's not my view at all. All I say is that if DV directed at women is worthy of special consideration, then all violence, which produces mostly male victims and in far greater numbers than DV should be at least as well supported.

One thing that you continue to try to ignore is that most men never, ever commit violence and most women never, ever experience it. Violent people are often violent regardless and bullies will bully as long as they think they can get away with it, whatever their gender.

So, off you go, play to the grrls, but do so in the full knowledge that you're as guilty of violence as I am for having shouted at my wife when she shouted at me. That makes you a hypocrite. Thanks for giving me the chance to clear that up.

Antiseptic: "How many times do you need to hear "Oh, you poor thing"? "

Apart from the fact I have yet to hear the above, the responses from you, U-Suss et al, has been to deny the import of DV on women and children, to claim that women commit as much violence as men and if that isn't enough to resort to personal insult and attack.

Therefore, any reader to these pages would gain the distinct impression that you do not care for anyone other than yourself.

I and many other female posters have offered positive contributions in the form of links and information regarding assistance to men who are undergoing spousal abuse.

You offer nothing to anyone that could be construed as helpful or understanding.