Smallest book in the world?

The right-wing conservatives' book of humour.

Why are most comedians left-leaning? I guess being an uptight control freak tends to excrete the humour gene.

So, in answer to Polly's question.

Are Socialists Seditious?

God, I hope so....

Hello Fractelle,

I found a few quotes on the net
that I think you may enjoy (I did):

1) "I suppose I can understand the
callous, selfish disregard
of the conservatives.
It is their pride in it
that passes me by."

2) Although it is not true that all
conservatives are stupid,
it is true that most stupid people
are conservative."

3) A good conservative is one
who doesn't want
anybody to know it."

MARX
"We are convinced that in no social order will freedom be so assured as in a society based upon communal ownership."

Which of course is a total oxymoron. 'Communal Ownership' and freedom?

That is probably where Marxism went so horribly wrong...in that simple statement. I've seen it argued most persuasively that this fundamental incorrect premise was it's downfall.

The thing is.. once the 'workers' control everything.. the SMART workers quickly work out ways of 'looking' equal but not 'being' so...they have all the trappings of the Russian Communist regime..and like Mr Mugabe.. have a palace which puts the best of Buckingham to shame.

Then...they want to be "el presidente for life" because..why do we need to change things any more.. after all..now the 'people' control everything.. and those in charge of 'the people'.. have the natural right to continue so doing.

If 'overthrowing' capitalism is a goal.. then 'maintaining' socialism by 'overthrowing' any challange goes without saying.

The idea of 'overthrowing' itself means that not enough people 'want' it. If they did.. you don't have to overthrow it..you just vote it out.

Socialist are:

-hateful
-spiteful
-resentful
-nasty
-mean....

all from the evidence of certain 'socialist' posts in this thread :)

(Not yours foxy... ur as gentle as ever)

Boaz, are you 'aware' of the number of 'times' you are forced to put words in 'quotes' because, presumably, you like there to be an air of 'mystery' about their true 'meaning'?

In this last post, you provided quotes for:

'Communal Ownership'
'workers'
'looking'
"el presidente for life"
'people'
'the people' (somehow different from just 'people'?)
'overthrowing' - three times
'maintaining'
'want' (eh?)

and finally,

'socialist'

The reason for my pointing this out to you is simply that it makes your posts impossible to read. How should we interpret 'workers', when the word is in quotes? Are they somehow not the same as the workers that we know about? If so, how do they differ?

It would help me a great deal if you dropped this habit Boaz, as your posts are difficult enough to interpret without the additional burden of guesswork that you place on your audience.

But the underlying annoyance is that they also provide you with an easy escape route, when your ideas are challenged. As they usually are.

You simply decide that you 'meant' something else, and that all us 'socialists' are conspiring to 'pervert' your information in a 'manner' that you didn't 'intend'.

Have a great day.

Foxy and Fractelle,

Just for you guys, because I know we don't have a sense of humour.

Q: What does a leftist and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What has an asshole at each end, is five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A leftist protest parade.

Q: What is the difference between a leftist and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Q: Who was the first leftist?
A: Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been and did it all on borrowed money.

Q: How many Leftist does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"

Q: How many leftists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One leftist and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.

Q: How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.

Q: How do you confuse a leftist?
A: You don’t, they are born that way

Q: What’s the difference between an Iraq terrorist and a leftist?
A: The Iraq terrorist makes fewer demands.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Jackass with an onion?
A: A whinny Leftist.

Q: How is being at a leftist convention different from being at the circus?
A: At the circus the clowns don’t beg and whine at you.

Q: How many Leftists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It takes ten, nine to deny that darkness exists and one to hire a Republican to change it.

Q: What is a Liberal’s primary “feeling?”
A: Envy.

An old revolutionary walks across the Brooklyn Bridge one day, and he sees man of a similar age standing on the edge, about to jump. He runs over and says: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"I'm just depressed, I've been a Communist all my life and the revolution seems as far away as ever"

"You're a Communist?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I am as well!! Did you originally join the Communist Party USA?"

"Yeah"

"Me too! Did you join the pro-Trotsky Communist League of America in 1928, which later merged with the American Workers Party to form the Workers Party of America in 1934?"

"Yeah"

"Spooky, Me too! After the WPA was expelled from the Socialist Party of America in 1936 did you then go on to join the Socialist Workers Party USA and the fourth international?"

"I did actually…"

"Me too! In the 1940 dispute did you side with Cannon or Shachtman?"

"Cannon."

"Me too! In 1962 did you join Robertson's opposition caucus, the Revolutionary Tendency?"

"Yep."

" Holly sh!t! And of course like me you were expelled and went on to join the International Communist League (Spartacist)"

"Well that goes without saying!"

"In 1985 did you join the International Bolshevik Tendency who claimed that the Sparts have degenerated into an "obedience cult""

"No way!"

"Nah, me neither. In 1998 did you join the Internationalist Group after the Permanent Revolution Faction were expelled from the ICL?"

"Yeah! I can't believe this! Maybe I won't…."

"Die counterrevolutionary scum!". And he pushes him off the edge

_______________________________________________________________________

Two leftists are making molotov cocktails. One says to the other, "So who will we throw these at then?" The other replies "What are you, some kind of f@cking intellectual?!?"