Consumerism, a hectic lifestyle, and the need to belong make us substitute our feelings for goods. So instead of spending quality time with others telling them how we feel, we take the short-cut and buy them a present. Offcourse it is good to give, but do we give of ourselves, or of a substitute for our feelings, nicely giftwrapped and sealed.

Dear Haralambos,

As I wrote in another thread, it seems to me we're obsessed with having things. We put ourselves in debt for thirty years in order to own a house. We work at thankless jobs we hate for thirty years in order to have sufficient money to retire with some security and to die in absolute obscurity.

There is another way. The idea is to dream up the things you want to do and then make them happen.

Life is not about having things, life is about doing things.

Doing things usually has a rewarding result. You either make more money than you need without being bored in the process, or you discover that you don't really need all that fiscal security to live happily ever after. You also die smiling.

“the need to belong make us substitute our feelings for goods.”

Speak for yourself. I have plenty of “stuff” but they are largely conveniences to my life, not the purpose of my life.

I suggest you investigate Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs”, work out where you are on it and where you want to be on it.

I was talking with a lady who was very beautiful and with great personality, very smart and had everything going for her but was very insecure. We discussed how she felt and what she thought was important to her (largely what others thought of her) and I observed, 90% of what matters to us in this life exists only between our ears. She connected with that idea and immediately started to sparkle.

We are what we think and what we think immediately affects what we project and how other people, therefore, see us.

If you think your life is either about the drudgery of buying into consumerism or a journey with some more important agenda, then you are right.

(Choice, it is what we decide)

Ah Col you're a smart man.

I read these 'we're all not really happy because too many people like buying stuff' articles in the smh every day. They're basically socialists upset about capitalism, greenies upset about the environment and people with lots of money upset that the lower classes dare to buy the same toys they have.

When you meet some wacko in a bar and he asks you whether you are 'truely' happy, you recognise the religious nutter and sneak away. Why do these elites think the stupid materialist Harvey Norman shoppers aren't happy, or that they give a toss what they have to say. Further why do they think they have discovered this new perspective on life, and know what's best for other people, when The Beatles brought out 'Cant buy me love' in the 60s and even then it wasn't exactly a revolutionary idea.

Hi all,

Having stuff is not the issue, neither is money. The point I made was that most people do not spend quality time with loved ones. Consumer society, and its fast paced life, does not allow one to fully convey their feelings. Instead, people replace this lost opportunity with goods and presents. So buying and giving displaces LOVE.

'Consumer society, and its fast paced life, does not allow one to fully convey their feelings.'

I disagree. You can live as fast as you want to. Everybody has 24 hours in a day, there is pleanty of part time work available. There are also so many new means of communication at a lower cost.

'So buying and giving displaces LOVE.'
They're not mutually exclusive. Also how do you know buying and giving isn't actually disguising a lack of love, or a lack of desire to express it in another way?