This may come across as sorrowfull and depressing, but paging through these threads, I see a lot of people who need a friend or a something to relate to and I'm not just talking about those who spend their life sat behind a computor screen, typing away in answer to someone's thread, I'm talking about those who pop-in now and again to see if they get at least an answer or recognition.

I've started this thread for those who want to aire out and have their say without ridicule.

This is Spanky and a friend.

Hi Spanks... well I don't feel lonely.. but I surely enjoy the interaction. I'm what you might call 'socially hungry'...and if I'm anywhere... on a tram.. train.. waiting for something.. I love it when someone comes along.. specially in the sauna at gym.. usually I'm alone in there and I get lots of thoughts in that peaceful environment... reflect on life.. politics etc.. when someone comes along I always greet them with 'Ahah... someone to talk to'....

If anyone DOES feel lonely.. I thoroughly recommend 2 things.

1/ STOP feeling sorry for urself...
2/ GET INVOLVED with some kind of activity which you enjoy.

a) Public speaking
b) Gym.. self defense
c) Church
d) Some kind of cause..

You will inevitably meet people who think like you.. and who's company you can enjoy..(unless ur such a sad sack wallowing in self pity you repulse everyone who comes within a bulls roar of you)

One of the most gratifying human experiences is.. finding interesting people who actually LIKE YOU for who you are.

So.. try to look OUTward.. be likeable.. develop a sense of humor.. don't let the problems of the world weigh you down till you are 'flat out like a lizard drinking' and I don't mean that in the usual 'busy' way :)

So....there :)

Hey DB,

Can I just ask, given most of your posts generally include some reference to your strong religious beliefs, do you normally include such beliefs in your general conversation when you meet people? Either way, why is that?

cheers,

gw

Hi Spanky,I'm not lonely, though i do spend a lot of time at home alone.Between making toys etc for disadvantaged people and running a household i sit and enjoy reading other peoples take on life .When i think about how hard life has been on occassions,it does me good to read about others and their hardships.I realise i've been very lucky in many ways,most notably the fact that i've always been healthy.Good luck to you and yours and think of this as having a social life without the hassles.

SPANKY you are a good person so too in my mind is BD it is no crime to try to sell something you believe is the only answer to life.
It however pains some me included but no less than my constant harping about the better world we can have if we trust man.
Lonely? you will not help anyone here, good intentions and all ,most of us want to be heard or state a different view than our once proud Medea does.
In every street in our country people walk past each other ignoring every one.
Our separatist life's we ourself craft leave us totally alone if one dies or leaves our two party world.
Yes hay girl says it for me too not lonely but understanding many are, sometimes we all are.
volunteering is not always the answer , we can not get people to run our social clubs but we do need to do something.
Once our neighbors had a key to our house now we may not even know them, why?
How about a group like the old Bs? a social group that shouted I want to be your mate?
Do not tell anyone I have lost my card I would have to shout for all present.
Rules for that new group?
1 Talk to me I will not bite you and always have the time.
2
Never ask or tell if you are in the group to help or because you are lonely
Badges must be warn every time you are away from home.
true regards SPANKY for just being a caring person.

Hi there gw....

golly gosh :) I think I only mentioned 'church' as one of a number of very general options in my last post.. is that what you were referring to ?

I have great conversations with people about many things. Last night I had a great chat with a bloke at gym who was in East Timor as one of our special forces elite. He was doing Bushido/Karate... I asked him about the challenges of facing an enemy and the emotional stuggles of possibly having to kill people "enemy" and we both agreed that the most difficult enemy to be willing to kill is a female one.
He spoke about others who refused to goto E.Timor..and got out of the service..

The subject of 'coping with the ideas of right and wrong in time of war' did crop up in our convo, and I did mention God.. but I did so as a means of establishing a reference point for a soldier. I was particularly interested in his view on 'what underpins our sense of identity and connects us with something bigger than ourselves'...
My purpose was not to 'bash' him with God talk, I was genuinely interested in how a soldier in a very existential world, feels when he is suddenly in...then out.. of an intense Military situation, where most people don't have a clue about what they went through.

I speak about God if a conversation leads to it...and I do it more with questions than providing answers....unless the person wishes to know more.

Do I look for opportunities to share Christ with all and sundry ? absolutely. Generally, I know the difference between 'preaching' and persuading.. and when to back off.

Here... people can choose to read or not read what I say :) So..I say more than normal.

Hi everyone!
I often bump into people who give the aire of wanting to be alone, people who have experienced a brush-off more than just once and others who have gotten themselves into such a rut, they live their lives as only they know how to and eventually leads to depression.

I met a person who used to love animals, kept to himself, never had friends and was the nicest person anyone could meet, he was was what we call a loner and was not interested in anyone else and for this. he was ridiculed. Then I realised something, he loved animals for the fact of them being non-judgemental, people do this.

It is not a bad thing to want to be alone, it's a perogative within us and people must not judge another over his/her preference.

Why do people think this is wrong?

I guess I am one of your lonely people. I just pop in here to read and pop out again. Why? because I know there is always something here. My husband (of 22 years) died earlier this year so I have a couple of sites I just go to and look, just to keep in touch with something that is constant. I have a great job helping people who are less fortunate than myself, many of whom have mental health issues....I have 2 wonderful grown up daughters and a grandson and lots of great friends, however I still get lonely. There are alot of lonely people out there, it is how you deal with the lonliness that makes or breaks you. If anyone reading this feels lonely please talk to someone ..anyone...no matter how trivial you think it is as lonliness can lead to chronic depression and you may not even realise it until it is too late.

SPANKY observe this thread it talks about modern Australia.
Post 50,s and 60,s that is, we walk away from people who display pain not toward them.
Maybe it is a self protection thing, I think it is, but we do not publicly get involved with people we think are different.
We are indeed a poorer country for that.
I do truly think a conversation starter like that badge further up the thread could help some.
Each and every one on this forum could add to the ideas but few want to look as if they may be lonely.

Dear Callie
if I can add to your post.. yes.. by all means 'speak' to someone...

but PUH-LEASE don't let it be about "OH..I'm alone.. I feel depressed"

That would give the other person the impression that you are a self pitying individual wallowing in it.... and repulse them quick smart.

We have to take the bull by the horns..and simply admit...to ourselves "yes..I'm lonely..I need people contact" and then.. prepare ourselves as best we can to be interesting.. and GO FOR IT.. get out there.. interact.. have views.. reasons for those views.. get commITTED to 'something'...and be genuinely committed to it... and things will fall into place and life will become wonderful.

You know... a little personal anecdote from a few days ago.
I got out of my car at my kickboxing gym.. was in a rather cheerful mood (as I mostly am) and looked up to see a nice looking young lady moving towards her car next to mine. I must have had some kind of a smile on my face, because she spontaneously smiled... making me double take and said "Oh..sorry..I thought I knew you" to which she replied.. "No..I just noticed you looked so friendly" :)

If I'd had 'I'm deeeeepreSSED' written all over my face.. I guess it would have gone differently.

Greetings Belly!
Hope all is well with you and thanks for your kind words.

I have met many a lonely person and actually found the person just needed an ear to listen.
It's amazing what one goes through in life, what seems like a walk in the park to one person, it's like the end of the world to another and all that was required, was some human contact, thats all.

No-one can begrudge another persons feelings, way of life, because it's the way of life that sometimes causes us pain and heartache, causing us to withdraw and in severe cases, become recluse.

We often judge, when we ought not to, again, the lives we lead, money, power and the feeling of being better than the next one, I do not know who or what gave us humans the right to neglect another, nor to ridicule anothers status in life.

Some of us do give a damn!

boazie
Little Buddy
Well Here is one for you- How about you go and preach to that obtuse Steve Fielding of Family First.
He wasnt listening to RSPCA or another church Mininster or pale.
How discusting! family First have not even the manners to reply after the CEO RSPCA QLD a Leaders rep and Mininster From The Catholic Church flew from Queensland to Melbourne.
We have written that man for FOUR YEARS - asking his policy on the cruel live export trade?>
No Reply
He didnt even have to manners or concern to reply to the leading Church Minister.
Remember these are the so called CHRISTAIN LEADERS who are supposed to show some leadership.
Family First and Steve Fielding DONT HAVE AN ANIMAL WELFARE POLICY?
For Christ Sake how hypictrical to turn your back on the suffering of millions of Gods creatures then say you represent God.
He might represent your church but NOT God.
I love God but hate the two faced grants grabbing , money hungry so called christian Leaders in this country.
So David Please go and preach the word of God to that lot - thats you so admire
Shame on them.

Spanky
Thought I should say something - nice to you.

Your thread was a nice idea. Hows that?

Your thoughts on animal lovers is possibly wrong in many cases.

I have found quite often a instant dislike for many folk judged by their so called moral vaules as to how they turn their back on their fellow creatures.
Thats lonely in a way. You feel the need to get as far away from people as you can. Believe me the more you see of peoples as an animal lover- the less you want to.

Thats why the person probably locked themselves away.

Callie sounds like the real deal to me. Callie while you are busy thinking of others remember you.

Try to find that one special friend that you can call at 2am. Go out and have a pinic and drink too much red wine in the sun.
Lifes Short - and above all do not let working with people with mental problems become your only interest in life.
that too is depressing and we cant stop the flow of drugs that come into Australia to cripple our nation I am afraid.
Love yourself Callie for what you are and what you do.
There is of course a space in your life since your sad loss but try to understand why your sometimes down and do something about it.
Even if you HATE the idea- go out dancing once a month and its nice to know there is a person like Spanky on OLO who will always lend an ear.
Feel free to email us on our web page.
We are looking at doing pund dogs visits to the elderly in their own home and supplying the food etc if they would like to foster or adopt.
I cant see why life-line can not set up a voluntary register to put the single elderly in contacts by exchanging phone numbers either.

David I imagine your mission would be loney too- In Sorts- Although I forgot you have the lord to keep you company.
Thats not a dig either.

David- I would like to add I know your an ok guy even if you are a bit of a bible basher.
I hope you know the digs at Family first are NOT against you personally.
I just wont miss an oportunity to cry out for the animals.

I cant really agree with your approach to Callie however.
Its all very well for the likes of you and I to say to others in her position- Brush yourself off and pick yourself up and get out there and BE STRONG- Help Others go Dancing! whatever.

But you know what brother David- Sometimes - just every so often people like Callie need someone they dont have to pretend to.

Sometimes people NEED TO BE ALLOWED To say how THEY FEEL TOO!
I would have thought you might have understood that being a man of God- Or words to those effects.
What Callie needs is what we all need to know.
That People care and its ok to drop your bundle every now and then because you have that special bond with someone close who doesnt mind you crying on their shoulder.
Sparky has offered that opening in his post.
Its probably the nicest post anybody has ever put on OLO.
Perhaps we all to learn to have more compassion by his example Sparky

This is the purpose of this thread, those who have a mission in life, to tend for the aged, the lonely and the forgotten, our two and four legged friends, the ones who do not dicriminate between old or young, black or white, able and disabled, having friends or no friends at all....this is what it's all about.

We hear of people such as Ministers, preaching the gospel...he (or she) could be a very lonely person and the only way they know to reach out, is to preach and for possible reasons of needing to be recognised in some way, however which way.

People find their comfort zone with the presence of animals, they find they need no more than this. I suppose one could see this in the same light as with a preacher, we know where his comfort zone is, so give him his dues.

Pale, you are in your comfort zone and I've noticed that should anyone have an opinon of your status of what you do...tough!..it's what you do, it matters, it has a purpose, you have a purpose.

We have a statue where we live, in our little corner of the world, of a dog, as a reminder to us about dedication, free spirit and the ability within us, to stick to what we are in life...the owner of the little dog passed away one day and the dog, being so close to his human friend, stood guard over his masters grave for 14 years..people of the village came and gave food and blankets for the dog, until he also passed away, hence the statue.

The moral of this story is, dedication..let no man nor beast rip asunder, the beliefs of the individual, you are you and your purpose in life, is to live your life as long as you are able...the little dog did just that.

ooooooow! Thats an easy one! NO LOL.

Sorry about that. Spanky! If people want to talk they will, and if they don't thats their prerogative. Reading between the lines is easy, but trying to understand the world, thats hard.
I don't know who any of you are, LOL, but thats not the point of being here. Answers and Questions! and the thoughts of others. Is it not better to throw in a little than hole lot of nothing. People! I don't give a rats ass who or where or from what part of the world you come from, I just love throwing in my five cents worth. Been married for 16 years and with 5 children! Believe me! I am far from lonely. LOL. Paranoia is the new disease! That I can see. There is a hole lot of intellectual site bullies and instead of finding answers, most of you are still going round and around and getting nowhere. But we are just one drop in the ocean! Can the one, make the difference too the many.
Heaven for bidd if the world still has down too earth people in it.
What was I thinking. LOL

...And then we have the evolutions on this planet....stuck in his little rut...oh sorry, I forgot to put LOL...

You are right evolution..it takes a lot to open up, especially if the person is reluctant and covers everything up with a laugh or a fidgety giggle.

To open up to another, takes guts, something some of us just do not have, some people are forced inside their cocoon due to people like yourself and as you say, you have your little lot and you are a happy person, I am happy for you..well done, you are obviously one of those lucky ones.

Good-day and err..piss-off!

That hard shell we all have on, the one we take in public that says I want to be alone?
Well it can be broken, my new little dog Sky all90 MM of her sitting on the back window ledge of my car growling at two blue healers in the Ute next door had 5 laughing talking strangers together for ten minutes and a little dog sharing the Ute.
It can be done, no pale not an over heated car air con on motor running.
Taking the time to say Gday can bring rewards why we do so little of it concerns me.

I always say gidday to people and if they are a couple of dollars short for what they want to buy,i make up the shortfall.Doesn't kill you to be nice to people and you always find that someone is there for you when you need help.Give a wave when people gives way to you when on the road,pick up something someone has dropped or just simply admire someones hairstyle or new baby.Millions of ways to be nice and most of them don't cost a cent.It's true what is said about karma.When i see arsxxxxx i know that one day they will get what's coming.If you know someone elderly or infirm,cook an extra meal for them or take 10 minutes out of your day to talk.Even a fleeting helping hand or smile helps to alleviate loneliness.

SPANKY

Well I dont know about being in my comfort zone.

Having a calling from the Lord- Or gift from the Lord can be most difficult and loney too some times.

Its more like a curse really.

You learn more and more that the animals such as that little dog are much nicer than people `most times.`

I have always prefered animals to people.

Actually to be really honest you learn to hate.

The thing that drives me and stands out well apart from most feelings is the utter rage of discust you learn to have for most Church Leaders.

The feeling of dispare at not being able to stop such atrositys and seeing it each day.

I once went to see Howard when he came to the Gold Coast to rallie outside the bond Uni.

I realised for the first time why he needed security.

If I could have dragged him out from behind his tinted window I would have.

You are indeed very fortunate to live in a area where there are some nice people.

I have no doubt your in the bush somewhere because country people are the nicest.

So heres what you could do for me if you are in a good mood.

Find me a local pub on the river for sale.

Must have a big tree- be out of town and a cow paddock next door.

Then I would be honoured to be able to visit the little dog and put flowers on his grave.

I might even chuck a few his masters as well.

"Dear Callie
if I can add to your post.. yes.. by all means 'speak' to someone...

but PUH-LEASE don't let it be about "OH..I'm alone.. I feel depressed"

That would give the other person the impression that you are a self pitying individual wallowing in it.... and repulse them quick smart."

Please don't add to my post as you have totally changed the meaning of my post. Keep your values, which I don't agree with, in your post.
Most of my clients are "poor me" "I am depressed" kinda people. I empower them to make decisions for themselves and to get back as a functioning member of society. They don't have the strength or the coping skills to be all chirpy and happy as you would like them to be. They need to do the "poor me" bit before they can move on. Your post insinuated to me that you would not give these "poor me" people the time of day.

I was lucky. I already had these coping skills when tragedy struck my family. I help people in the day, at work, and I leave my work at work when it is time to go home. I go out and I have long term goals, I don't sit at home and wallow in self pity, although sometimes that seems the easier option, despite all that I still get lonely at times. That is when I turn on the computer, browse, read some forums, look at ebay. But then I am one of the lucky ones, I have the coping skills to do this.....many people do not...Lucky for my clients you, BD, do not work in the Mental Health Sector.
Lonliness and Depression can go hand in hand and if you feel "poor me" or "I can't go on" there are organisations that can help and crisis lines to call. Sometimes just talking to a stranger on the end of the phone can help. Sorry to preach but I feel very strongly about this.

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

I am intrigued to know more about how people respond to various topics. I'm interested in how they think, what they feel, and why?
I enjoy talking to people from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds. To me it illustrates the rich diversity that makes up
Australian society.

People talk about the hardships of the first few years and the nostalgia with which they remember the countries they left behind.
However, their determination to establish their lives in Australia helps them to find their own sense of belonging.

Feeling lonely? Of course - we all feel lonely at certain periods of our lives. Especially when we are excluded from things. Like being told - "You're not one of us." "You're weird!" "You don't belong here!" "Go back to where you came from..."

Spanky! Are we cross? You can not help the whole world. People have to learn life for themselves. In some cases, the more pity you pour on, the more they will draw it in and go nowhere. My life wasn't always full roses. I once lived on the streets and I know what sadness is. I have seen some of the most horrible and ugly things you couldn't possibly imagine. Sorry for the Laughing out loud symbols, but the help that was given, just made me more comfortable in the hole I was in. So I walked away from the help and went back to the streets and it was the best thing I had ever done. After being cold hunger and wet, I woke from the place I was sleeping in and walked into the city of sydney. Walking down pit street, my eye caught my own reflection in a shop window, And the one feeling at made me wake up was, the feeling of hitting rock bottom. I looked at myself very hard and all in split second, I knew this was not me. I said to my self, I am better than this, and when you feel this, all you can see at this time can only be described as looking from a bottom of a well with only that tiny spec of light all that way back up to the top. How I got back was with guts!
The more you surround some with cotton wool, they will not find that inner strength. In just under a year, I had it all back that I had lost.
And you know who really helped me! IT WAS ME! Until you hit the ground hard, will not trigger that survival mechanism that is inside us all. Iam I a hard man, maybe, but you wouldn't think so, if you saw the little boy all those years ago that cried over very thing that made him sad. I believe if one does not face ones demons, one will never walk right again.

every post is good ,every one of them has merit and ideas I agree with.
Evolution however hits the nail on the head how very true only we can help ourselves, but, never forget that first hand hold can come as another poster says with Gday mate.
My job, here I go again, trying to put a human face on SOME unions puts me in such a role often.
To understand a person has bought the pain on themselves say alcohol at work, is one thing but how I handle it another.
Easy to say you idiot and walk away, harder more more correct to say friend you did it to your self I will try to help if you do too.
Every human has value, Depression? some do not understand just how many have the black dog it is no crime.
So I put those who added to a thoughtful caring thread into the nice people basket ,just wish more cared for others.
pale my little dog is in my garden my new one under my feet dogs give back 100 times what we give them and this big old bloke can be turned to water as she trys to drag me out the door.

belly
Glad to hear your family is complete again. Its always hard to make new ties and changes.
Talk to them about your little lost buddy because they will understand.[ Even if you dont tell them- They know.

Did you know a dog knows more about you just by sniffing your ankles thean a person would if they knew you for six months?
True.
You might be interested to know Belly we are looking very carefully at Kerry Obrien and Labour.

Perhaps Kevin Rudd is listening to him and the Australian public.
I dont know I would need to get my dog to sniff his ankles I guess.

At least ALP were honest enough to tell it how it is regarding the amount of everyday public who have contacted their offices demading the live animal trade be replaced with chilled.

In contrast Peter Mcgaruan lied and lied and then lied some more.
All the Australian people need to know is they are electing a Government that will listen to them.

Kerry Obrien said- If the public of Australia wanted it stopped then they would listen to the public.
Labours Kerry Obrien also mentioned several times that we needed to look at opening more plants and value adding, jobs etc.

If he means it and Rudd can be trusted to listen to the public like kerry- ALP will gain millions of votes.

It could be an election winner.

They have a long way to go but honesty is a really good start.

So hats off to Mr Obrien for that much and SHAME on The Howard Government contiuned Lies!

Evolution,
See what I mean?
It took what it took, for you to open up to a thread full of complete strangers.

You are right, in the fact that some of us have to travel down a road with a long line of bad luck, depression and we grit our teeth to win through, some of us just have to grit a little harder and longer than others.

We meet people who only think they know the answers, no one can tell you how to feel better about a particular circumstance you may find yourself in, because they are not you and you handle it differently.
but just the fact of another pair of ears listening to you, actually makes that inner survival kit we are born with, kick-in.

Ever tried sitting quietly, alone in a room and thought to yourself, who am I?... in this body, in this place, why am I here and what are my aims and purpose? Even if you still do not have anything, you may have touched someone elses life, just by simply acknowledging them with a "g'day how are you?"

This will not bring you the answers, but it will damn sure make you aware of who you are more than you did, say an hour ago!

Try it, sometimes one needs to sit and look back on ones life to truly appreciate ones surroundings.

Some of us look up and pray, some of us just close our eyes and quietly speak to someone we only think or imagine is listening and by doing this, one is able to at least create a "catch net" of some kind.
Others prefer to be alone awhile, to collect our thoughts and work out a way to understand the if's, the and's and the why's, it comes down to the individual, we are all similar but in many ways different from one another, especially when it comes down to you, as a person, as a self sustaining, thinking and imaginative individual.

The gospel according to John and Paul:

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

AAwwwAHHH..Look at all the lonely people...doo di doo di doo doo!

SPANKY
Ah Come on Spanky - Where my pub? I diffted off to sleep the other night sipping on a Cold Bundy at my new location.
The pub had Ban live Exports written all over it and was leased to locals. It even had a Yabby bar! with pool service.
I of course will need to spend my time debating Yabby on OLO so someone else will have to run the pub.
I only want my tree river and animals with lunch and a bundy served daily.
Come on SPANKY

Pale,
Errrr...forgive my ignorance, I am a heck of a long way from where you are..What the heck is a Bundy?

Ok, call me stupid, I know it's a brewsky!

I often imagine myself away from it all, set up on a farm-like environment, with my dogs, my wife (not necessarily in that order of preference) and trundle along in life with nary a care in the world....ahhh what a life!

Oh, I forgot to add, the lake or beach must also be in walking..nay, did I say walking?...rolling out of bed distance!

Spanky
Sorry I didnt see your post. Thats sounds like my life now a bit I guess.
What`s A bundy the man asks? mate- Whats A bundy. Yo
Well find my pub and I will tell you.

Crickey you are out of wack with the real world arn`t you?
A bundy is a rum and coke. They come in a black and yell can. They call it Bunderburg Rum because its made in bunderburg.
Thats QLD up the track a bit from me.
Anyway I thought you said you live in the bush .
Whatever.
Well I had best pop back and annoy Yabby. Its very quite in here I must say.