I understand and agree with many feminist grievances around domestic labour, emotional labour, safety, power, and the historical undervaluing of women’s work. The “mental load” is real: planning, remembering, organising, anticipating needs, maintaining family rhythms, and managing social expectations are genuine burdens.

But I think the public conversation is often too one-sided. Women’s invisible labour is framed as oppression, while men’s invisible labour is often treated as duty, privilege, or simply “being an adult.” Many men carry background stress around money, financial security, cars, repairs, insurance, physical risk, confrontation, pests, household safety, and being expected to stay calm or competent when others panic. These burdens are also gendered, but they are rarely included in the accepted language of “mental load.”

I also think some domestic and social standards are not purely necessary. Some are inherited expectations, fear of judgment, perfectionism, identity protection, or competition between women. Women may genuinely be burdened by these standards while also protecting that territory because it gives competence, identity, authority, and social power. Men can then be criticised for not “helping,” while also being placed in the role of helper rather than equal owner.

This matters because one-sided gender narratives can hurt sensitive young men. If boys mainly hear that men are dangerous, selfish, emotionally defective, or responsible for women’s suffering, they may absorb the message that maleness itself is suspect. Girls are told they can do anything; boys are often told what is wrong with them.

Is it any wonder misogynistic influencers gain traction by telling boys they are not inherently evil? They offer one true thing inside a nest of lies. The true thing is that boys deserve dignity. The lie is that dignity comes through contempt, dominance, or resentment.

Yet this phenomenon is so often called “toxic masculinity,” not feminist overreach.

A better conversation would recognise both women’s and men’s invisible burdens without turning either sex into the villain. The real question should not be “why don’t men help more?” but: what loads are each of us carrying that the other person does not count?

Hi Houellebecq,

My concerns centre around gender equality and expectations for both males and females. I want to see equality of opportunity for all, and that includes minorities within society, which is not necessarily gender based. Well educated women have through the feminists revolution manged to exert themselves forcefully within (our) society, and have broken down artificially installed male barriers of control through power..

However, both genders from the lower end of the socio-economic scale are still being subjected to discrimination through the lack of opportunity, which is acceptable because of stereotyping, with a once entrenched attitude of; "that's your destiny in life". Slowly more is being done to give opportunity to those in society who at one time had no such prospects, other that what their social status had predetermined.

I believe education is the key to braking down the barriers that exist, and through education opportunity will present itself for all, including women. That's the social revolution that is occurring in our society, but unfortunately its not the case in most of the world.

Hi Trumpster,

YOU stick up a couple of links YOU copy and paste, probly from an extreme right-wing propaganda site, without any comment, and expect others to open em' up, so to be enlightened by such pearls of wisdom.

BTW; It was your folk hero 'Pig Iron' Bob who when asked, what had be learnt for Australia from WWII. Pig Iron's answer was simple; "How to exploit women with lower wages and worse conditions to boost our profits." He was right, far right!

"YOU stick up a couple of links YOU copy and paste,"

All links are copy/paste. By definition. You probably don't realise that since you never provide links to the rubbish you write eg your 'quote' from Menzies which you either just made up or is another, (yet another) lie you've fallen for.

As to the links I posted, they neatly summarise the issue.

Hi Trumpster,

Not only are you cut and paste jobs cheesy, they're also rather droll. Next thing you'll be posting clips from "Leave It To Beaver", and telling us that's how it was, back in the good old days. Of course those Yankee sanitised versions of yesteryear, where the biggest problem the "little woman" had was what she would serve her adorable husband and squeaky clean children for dinner that evening as a dutiful wife and mother, be it as a second class human being as all females were at that time. No mention of the unjust murder of Black Americans in US prisons, etc, the slaughter of innocent people by American mercenaries in third world countries etc! Instead of being entertaining such gross hypocrisy should make one sick!

Nonsense all starts at the school level where young girls are told they can have it all. That means they can enjoy motherhood, they can pursue their career, they can pursue their sport, they can use a man to achieve their goals, they can trade him if he does not make her imaginary grade. Often when it does not work out and they are unhappy divorced single mums they dig in deeper. Give me marriage, embracing your paternal instincts and supporting your husband any day. Those doing so end up much more content and far less bitter. Simple fact is men and women are different. No amount of indoctrination can change that. So many women dudded.

Hi Trumpster,

As someone YOU claims never bags the ALP or Albo, I gotta say what a wombat was Albo with his "Kylie Comment" to some blond bimbo on some stupid podcast! I thought he should have deflected that "question" like Don Bradman would deflect some Pommy bowler to fine leg, instead he got cleaned bowled! The Mad Monk would be proud of him with that misogynistic clap trap. Not as bad as his sycophantic support for your folk hero Daffy Donald and AUKUS, something I have panned the Labor government for many times on this forum.

p/s That's almost as bad as a politician says; "Our new policy is to boil up babies and feed em' to the Pensioners! A real vote winner!

Paul,

What makes you think those pictures I posted were of Americans? Rather racist of you.

Are you going to admit the Menzies 'quote' you posted was a fabrication of your warped mind?

Hi Trumpster,

Did I specifically say your cartoon was of Americans? No I did not, I said it was cheesy and droll, being a drawing and not a photo of real people. For all I know it could have been the artists best attempt at characterising an Ethiopian family of the 1950's. What I did mention was the American TV show of that era "Leave It To Beaver" saying YOU will be telling us that's (as characterised by certain American TV programs of the time) how it was, back in the good old days. Was "Leave It To Beaver" a true characterisation of how life was for the majority living in the Anglosphere in the 1950's & 60's. Me thinks not, but YOU might disagree.

As for the Nazi supporter, who returned from a trip to Germany in 1938, with glowing reports of Fascism, but disappointed he did not meet the Fuhrer personally, and founder of the Liberal Party, 'Pig Iron' Bob Menzies, all I say is gospel. End of story.

"all I say is gospel. End of story."

The sad part is that you think that's true.

Hi Trumpster,

Its always good to be educated, and in your case I am educating YOU for free, only because I consider YOU a forum friend who is greatly in need of enlightenment.

BTW; Hitler had his 1936 Olympics, and Trump has his 2026 World Cup. Hitler had his Jesse Owens, Trump has his Belgium Soccer Team.... 4-1 "Sunshine" have YOU stopped crying yet? So much for the superiority of the Aryan race!

"So much for the superiority of the Aryan race!"

You really are a dill. Belgium is as Aryan as any other nation on earth. You educate me? now that's funny.

Hi Trumpster,

Sorry, I am not an authority on the Aryan race, I'll leave that to your superior knowledge on the subject. In fact I don't believe there is any such thing as Aryans, but I'm sure YOU will beg to differ. 'Pig Iron' Bob probably believed in Aryans.

Is Donald protesting the match result? What a cheat is your Donald, always cheating at golf, no sportsmanship at all. Don't YOU Agree?

"Sorry, I am not an authority on the Aryan race,"

Or anything else for that matter. Typical Paul. Talks about Aryans and then, when shown to be utterly wrong, wants to change the subject ASAP.

For heaven's sake; two exiteable posters punching it out -as usual - over an innocently placed thread on a boring subject that has been on the go for centuries. The subject used to be referred to as the 'battle of the sexes'. These days, people aren't sure what sex they are - and battling about who should do what and when is passe.

There's now a female Lieutenant-General in charge of the army. There are more females than males going to university. There are more females in the work force. There are males pretending to be females.

Toilets are not the only things unisex any more.

Catch up, fellas. And don't worry about females. They are just as tough and nasty as you are - more so - and you are probably too old for your opinions to be of any interest to them.

Yes I believe that Edward Bernays is responsible for damage to western society in his and his friends ideas about "Consumptionism" or consumerism- manipulating cultures using emotional connection to products- little wonder he didn't come from our culture. The west needs to be aware of the disadvantages of allowing other cultures to form beachheads within our territories.