I'd just like to acknowledge the death of my father Graham Downing.
I know dad served in Vietnam. He did not speak of it. It left a mark on who he was as a husband, a father and a grandfather.
I'd just like to say, I know he did his best and even though he could not be open about it, I need him to know it's okay.
I could never talk about it with him, as was his choice, but I acknowledge here and now. Dad, I love you and I'm sorry this took so much from you.
I'm sorry if this is not the space but I needed somewhere to speak.
I've struggled all my life with depression and anxiety and dad's anxiety was bad in the last part of his life.
May he now be at peace.

Dear Basso70,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand the
emptiness that you dad's passing has left in your
life. My mum passed away some time ago, but
it seems like only yesterday. May your dad's
legacy live on in your heart and memories.

May his spirit give you strength during this
difficult time.

Eternal Rest grant to him Oh Lord
May perpetual light shine on him
May he Rest In Peace.
Amen.

Who was Graham Downing?

I think this post is cryptic.

OLO readers are not meant to make sense of it; unless that is, the author stumps up with an explanation.

Well, it's daft.

In the past, family or friends of a deceased poster have taken the trouble to let us know. But no poster by that name ever posted here,

People seem to be getting crazier.

ttbn,

I agree, this person has gone to the trouble of setting up an account here, and posted thus. I only know of one regular poster who is a Vietnam War vet and I wont name him as it may not be him. Who is "Graham Downing" did he ever post on here, strange topic but approved by the man who runs everything.

One virtue-signalling sadsack fell for it, though. Pathetic.

Dear Basso70,

None of us have any reason to doubt your posting.
It should be enough that the Moderator has allowed it.

You reached out. It was up to us how to respond.

Here's some more thoughts for you - that may help:

To mourn too long for those we love is self indulgent
but to honour their memory with a promise to live a
little better for having known them,
gives purpose to their life and some reason for their death.

(Nan Witcomb.)

Take care.

cont'd :-

When the world
is at its worst
and the darkest side
shows through -
when fear
turns into hate
and greed
obscures the view -
when no one seems to care
and Autumn winds blow cold,
the old don't understand
the young despise the old -
when life keeps turning grey
I need my rainbow's end
or a patch of blue
where the sun shines through
I need you, my friend -

(Nan Whitcomb.)

Does the moderator actually look at every post? Modern technology can pass or block material automatically in accordance with with set triggers.

There is nothing in the post to set off alarms; just some poor sod admitting to depression thinking that the world at large would be interested in the passing of someone they don’t know.

The real tragedy is someone actually responding to a post like this thinking it makes then a 'nice' person, when there is every chance that it is hoax from someone bored or batty.

ttbn,

You cannot even begin to judge correctly until your own heart is right and your own eye is clear.

Graham Downing was no doubt a man of stature, note, a sign of hard work and effort. Someone who gave his life for others. Someone many knew and looked up to in terms of life and discovery.

As the Bible says: "Judge not lest ye be judged" a book held in high regard by many people.

Nathan,

It's a surprise that you took so long to say something stupid and irrelevant.

Nathan

I should not have said those things to you.

I apologise.

What I should have said:

. We have never heard of Graham Downing
. We don't know if such a person ever existed

Therefore:

. We don't know if this unknown person ever went to Vietnam
. We can't know if an unknown person was a “man of stature”
. If he did exist he died recently in Australia, and he didn't give his life “for others”
. And we can't possibly conclude that “many knew and looked up to (him) in terms of life and discovery” if we don't know if he even existed
. We haven't heard of the anonymous person who put up the post for reasons known only to that anonymous person.

But, above all, those of us who responded to the post probably need our heads read for not just ignoring it as we ignore the occasional advertisements and rubbish that slip through the system.

The world is full of nutters and seriously ill people who do all sorts of irrational things.

As for judgements, we all make them every day, and so we must if we want to survive.

Mean spiritedness with petty and ungracious actions towards
others should have no place in our society. But sadly there
are those who make it their purpose in life to be like
this. Extending an apology is a commendable act - but in this
case it should apply to more than just one person.

ttbn,

We don't even know if David Singer is real. I mean he churns out the same stuff nearly every week, like some sort of robot or artificial device.

I have a lot of respect for our Vietnam veterans in terms of their work and the fact they did something I just couldn't do. I'm not up to it - serving in the military.

In terms of the writer, no it's not really an opinion, but I do hope it starts a debate about something. They have expressed their emotions about the loss of their dad, depression and anxiety and we know from figures that men are more likely to commit suicide than women.

9 each day in Australia will take their life, 7 of them men and around 1.5m people here in Australia live with depression.

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/statistics

Often their situations are trivialised in a men vs women battle of the sexes and for Vietnam veterans we know they are part of those men in terms of statistics who will take their lives.

To finish, who cares if Graham Downing isn't real? For me I'd rather be on the safe side and recognise he is a sign of those who gave their lives in earlier times for people today.

Graham Downing tribute.

http://tributes.newcastleherald.com.au/obituaries/504504/graham-stewart-downing?r=https://tributes.newcastleherald.com.au/obituaries/newcastleherald-au/

Sorry to those who this upset. I was just acknowledging my dad.

Dear Basso70,

The grieving process is different for everybody.
I don't see anything wrong with someone wanting
to tell others that they just lost a loved one.
It can be a healthy way to cope.

People should be able to grieve without judgement.
None of us should get to dictate how others grieve.

Everyone grieves differently.

Thank you for sharing your grief with us.

Foxy,

I 100% agree with your last set of comments. So thank you.

All I can do is apologise for people like ttbn here who seem to lack compassion here.

There is no need for the author here to apologise at all.

Please continue to comment here as you face the loss of a family member you clearly cared about.

Dear Nathan,

Thank you.

Well…Basso70 is full of information…not.

More questions are raised by Basso70’s response than answered.

Could a fact be assumed, that Basso 70 chose the format of OLO to post a cryptic post without a hint of explanation, because the dearly departed was a post-poster to OLO prior to his death?

If so, what was the dearly departed’s pseudonym?

Failing some link to reality like the above, the post is irrational.

It's amazing that this is still being commented on.

Would a load of crap.

Nathan,

You can't apologise for me, or anyone else except yourself. What a bloody cheek!

There are some real screwballs here, and they are not me of Diver Dan.

My cat Tiddles has passed away, at the tender age of 19, Tiddles has gone to that big cattery in the sky. Tiddles was a regular poster on OLO, you may know him under the pseudonym of "Tiddles The Terror". Tiddles was well versed in world politics, social justice and scone making, topics oft debated by many an expert on OLO! Tiddles was well known in the neighbourhood, bring home the local fauna, birds, lizards etc at every opportunity. Neighbours would always have a kind word for Tiddles, The widow Dork at number 7, on seeing Tiddles would kindly say; "Piss off you bloody CAT!" yes Tiddles was so loved by all, I still place his little bowl of "Wiskers' out on the back veranda each day, bring it in every night, covered in ants, just like when Tiddles was alive. I buried Tiddles in the compost heap, he will make great fertiliser for next years tomato crop. RIP Tiddles

p/s I thank everyone on OLO in advance for your kind words of sympathy, and glowing tributes to Tiddles. As Fr John said at the furneral "Glad that bloody flea bag is dead!" never a kinder word spoken, Goodbye friends I'm overcome with grief.....Think I'll get a savage "Rockweeler" to replace Tiddles, the neighbours will love that.

I enjoy watching the TV program "Dogs behaving
Badly," where an expert corrects inappropriate
behaviour of the animals.

I think that this forum could really use an expert who could
correct some people's bad behaviour here.

When we see people acting in an abusive or demeaning manner
toward others, their behaviour almost always is a symptom of
their lack of self-esteem. They have a need to put someone
else down to feel good about themselves. A behavioural
expert could help to correct this unnecessary bad trait.

It works on dogs.