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The Forum > General Discussion > Would you live with your children in your old age?

Would you live with your children in your old age?

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I thought a change of subject might do us
some good - just to get away from the current
conflicts on the news.

Many of us have probably provided for our old
age in advance. But I was wondering in case it
ever came to that - for whatever reason - would
any of you live with your kids in your old age?

Why and why not?
Posted by Foxy, Wednesday, 1 November 2023 12:32:46 PM
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More likely the other way around Foxy, It looks like we will have our children living with us, well into our old age.

My son moved into the granny flat I had for mum about 6 years ago, when he came out of the navy, & shows no indication of moving on, ever.

My youngest daughter could not maintain the payments on her new home when she became a single mother, so we added another granny flat for her & her daughter. She also needed help with school runs & after school care.

This form of living may have to become the norm if we continue with Albanese's crazy immigration rates. Many families will not be able to afford a single family dwelling.
Posted by Hasbeen, Thursday, 2 November 2023 8:37:39 AM
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Thanks for sharing your experiences with us Hassie.
Quite a few of our friends also have their children
living with them.

I'm not managing too well at home currently and my
husband is my carer. There's quite a few things
that I'm no longer able to do but there's also
much that I can still do. So I'm not about to
go into any aged care facility - just yet.

I don't want to live with my kids. We own our home
and I know that my husband would not want to go
into an aged care facility. So we'll probably stay
where we are.

Of course I don't know what the future will bring.
But for us - I doubt if living with our kids is
going to happen.
Posted by Foxy, Thursday, 2 November 2023 9:29:45 AM
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It's up to the children if they want to be around us rather than the other way round. Our society is not geared for family life. Economics forced on us are such that even well-meaning families can't afford to care for their old even if they wanted to.
Posted by Indyvidual, Friday, 3 November 2023 5:29:47 AM
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We looked after both my mum and my mother-in-law
until physically it became impossible to do so and they
both needed extra full time care. However to this day
I regret that we moved them both to aged care facilities.
Excellent as these facilities were - I wish that we could
have kept them at our home.

I still feel guilty about it. And blame myself for not doing more.
Posted by Foxy, Friday, 3 November 2023 8:46:31 AM
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I think that most seniors want their children to call
and visit. Especially their grandchildren. They may want
their kids to do certain things to help them but I feel
that most people don't want to feel that they're entirely
dependent on their children.

The bottom line is I think that most of us want to be
independent. And children also, as soon as they are
financially able to do so separate from their parents
as soon as they can - wanting their own independence
and no longer wanting their parents laying down the rules.

Of course, sometimes this is not always possible. But the
idea of living together no matter how well you get along
can be disconcerting for both parties. The intimacy of
shared living spaces can simply be too much of a good
thing.

Also defining boundaries and spaces can create problems.
Posted by Foxy, Friday, 3 November 2023 11:57:14 AM
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