I thought a change of subject might do us
some good - just to get away from the current
conflicts on the news.

Many of us have probably provided for our old
age in advance. But I was wondering in case it
ever came to that - for whatever reason - would
any of you live with your kids in your old age?

Why and why not?

More likely the other way around Foxy, It looks like we will have our children living with us, well into our old age.

My son moved into the granny flat I had for mum about 6 years ago, when he came out of the navy, & shows no indication of moving on, ever.

My youngest daughter could not maintain the payments on her new home when she became a single mother, so we added another granny flat for her & her daughter. She also needed help with school runs & after school care.

This form of living may have to become the norm if we continue with Albanese's crazy immigration rates. Many families will not be able to afford a single family dwelling.

Thanks for sharing your experiences with us Hassie.
Quite a few of our friends also have their children
living with them.

I'm not managing too well at home currently and my
husband is my carer. There's quite a few things
that I'm no longer able to do but there's also
much that I can still do. So I'm not about to
go into any aged care facility - just yet.

I don't want to live with my kids. We own our home
and I know that my husband would not want to go
into an aged care facility. So we'll probably stay
where we are.

Of course I don't know what the future will bring.
But for us - I doubt if living with our kids is
going to happen.

It's up to the children if they want to be around us rather than the other way round. Our society is not geared for family life. Economics forced on us are such that even well-meaning families can't afford to care for their old even if they wanted to.

We looked after both my mum and my mother-in-law
until physically it became impossible to do so and they
both needed extra full time care. However to this day
I regret that we moved them both to aged care facilities.
Excellent as these facilities were - I wish that we could
have kept them at our home.

I still feel guilty about it. And blame myself for not doing more.

I think that most seniors want their children to call
and visit. Especially their grandchildren. They may want
their kids to do certain things to help them but I feel
that most people don't want to feel that they're entirely
dependent on their children.

The bottom line is I think that most of us want to be
independent. And children also, as soon as they are
financially able to do so separate from their parents
as soon as they can - wanting their own independence
and no longer wanting their parents laying down the rules.

Of course, sometimes this is not always possible. But the
idea of living together no matter how well you get along
can be disconcerting for both parties. The intimacy of
shared living spaces can simply be too much of a good
thing.

Also defining boundaries and spaces can create problems.

We lived with our in-laws for a time when we returned
from the United States and until we bought our own
home. My father-in-law was a European patriarch and
saw himself as the head of the family. What he said
had to be obeyed.

This did create a bit of conflict at times.
I was happy when we moved into our own home. He was a
very lovely man - but it was much easier to get along
when we weren't under the same roof.

Here are some tips for living with your adult children
or aging parents and managing conflict when grown family
members cohabitate:

http://www.psychologytoday.c0m/au/blog/mental-wealth/202107/tips-living-your-adult-children-or-aging-parents

Are granny flats a cheap housing solution?

http://theage.com.au/national/victoria/granny-flats-a-cheap=housing-solution-20160120-gm850p.html

Are granny flats a cheap housing solution?
Foxy,
Definitely ! Local Councils in Qld are at the mercy of LGA stupidity so, many such really helpful alternatives are denying people much needed accommodation.

Fortunately a number of companies have come up with systems to get around council laws, & many people are simply installing small units for family.

I can understand how someone with a large McMansion on their acre block do not want a shanty village to grow next door, but intelligent rules could make both happy. Around here many larger acreage properties have "granny flats" appearing, without reference to council. It would be a brave councilor or bureaucrat that started making waves in the current economic & social situation, provided reasonable standards are maintained.

Costs are becoming ridiculous with rates & home insurance devouring 3 months of the single pension rate, so even elderly home owners can struggle to survive alone.

I stumbled across the designs of Granny Flats quite
by accident. They look great and the prices listed
are very accessible. It would be a good solution for
many - young and old.

Indyvidual and Hasbeen - why would local councils disapprove?
The flats seem well designed.

The flats seem well designed.
Foxy,
yes, that's the problem. Anything that makes sense & doesn't involve bureaucratic nonsense/red tape is not acceptable to many Councils under the yoke of LGA.

What a pity. I'm sure that Granny Flats would
make suburbs more liveable and enjoyable.
They look so good and are affordable. It would
also solve the problems of people having
to live with either their parents or children.
More space for both.

More space for both.
Foxy,
Again yes and, an improved quality of life for all. Current affairs programmes regularly report on Council bureaucrat idiocy from all around the Nation & the silly people keep blaming Govt.
Just think back to all the reports you would have seen on TV on the many empty houses & blocks of flats etc. all down to Council ineptitude !
There's sufficient space on even a quarter acre block for a small cabin but many Councils are against them. Why ? Not even Councils know !

Indyvidual,

I agree.

Two of our friends have built Granny Flats in an
outer suburb. Both families are really happy with
the results.

If only Councils were made up of Councillors who have the prosperity of their constituency at heart rather than just an income for themselves.
So much could be achieved if they led by example so that the constituents would become more cooperative also.
The past & present situation provides sufficient evidence that both sides are at fault for things not running as efficiently as they could be.
Granny flats must become a standard to counter the immoral exploitation of renting ! Fewer families would split if such accommodation was not made so difficult or even impossible by insensitive & uncaring bureaucrats.
Where are these social engineers when they're needed to work for society instead of ruining it.

Indyvidual,

We tend to muddle through things until we get it right.

Hopefully the same will happen with Granny Flats.

When I bought this place, over 30 years ago the council policy was only one structure with a kitchen on any property, 20 acres or a thousand. The only exception was a managers house. Our problem was this had to be over 6.6 Sq Mt, & my mothers granny flat we were bringing with us from Wide Bay was only 6Sq Mt.

To satisfy council we had to graft the unit into appearing to be a wing of the existing house. To do this cost us $16,000 more than establishing it independently. Thanks council.

Today no one is paying much attention to council edicts around here. Granny flats & sheds are appearing everywhere. I am a bit sorry I went through the full costly business of building my new 15 x 8M shed by the book. When my daughter saw the view from it with the 3 roller doors open looking down to the river & off to the mountains, she wanted to move in.

Hi Hassie,

It sounds that the money you spent was well worth
every cent. And it's good that the council
restrictions have not stopped Granny Flats in
your area.

Your life-style sounds lovely.

I only hope that one day soon it will transfer into
the suburban suburbs of our major cities.

We have never had the subject need consideration but certainly the
Granny flats I have seen were quite attractive. I think they are
approved in Sydney generally.
We would not want to live with our children, although it would
probably work out if we could contribute someway, such as picking up
children after school etc. Doing the grocery shopping etc etc.
In the near future the councils will have a decision forced on them;
Granny flats or tents in the parks. or granny flats in the parks !
Now there's an idea !
There is a company that converts shipping containers into granny flats
and they look pretty good. They stack them side by side with a doorway
between, kitchens, bedrooms etc etc just as many as you can fit in.
Want an investment tip ? Buy shares in a tent company !
Might start one, call it Albos Tents !

Hi Bezza,

With an aging population and the affordability of
housing becoming more difficult for young people
Councils are going to have to look at alternatives
as you point out.

I see Granny Flats as a one solution. But perhaps
town planners and other people in the building and
construction industries can come up with even better
solutions

I can understand one reason councils may have a problem with granny flats in suburbia. With many "six pack" type blocks of units having replaced single residence homes some councils are probably very close to exceeding the capacity of water reticulation & sewerage treatment & disposal.

Perhaps they have missed the fact that family can move in with parents, creating the same demand on services. This is a much less suitable life style for young families, & the oldies hosting them, than an independent granny flat.