Ninaf:"i was a seasoned feminist well before the assault"

So much is obvious. What would be more convincing is if you were a "seasoned" humanist, rather than the rather one-eyed ideological obsessionist you seem to be. That might threaten your ride on the bandwagon though...
How much does the Rape Crisis Centre job pay again? It must be a fair whack, because your organisation managed to eat up $763,788 in wages last year, out of a total budget of $973,425. In addition to that, you spent $23,672 on "Professional Development" and a further $30,634 on travel, not to mention the $105,677 for "Administration" over and above the cost of salaries. Funnily enough, I can't see any line items in your annual report for the cost of actually assisting people in crisis. Nice little gravy train - you go grrrl.

As for the subject of this silly discussion, who cares? Children bearing the patronymic surname identify the father for anyone interested, while their maternal heritage is usually obvious because most kids live with their mother. What the mother chooses to call herself is up to her, I'd have thought, if that's not imposing too much responsibility on her, of course...

The lack of interesting subjects on OLO has never been more evident.

Meandering around an otherwise mundane subject without making any real points - feminism at its best?

Really, take the surname or dont. Hyphenate or dont. It doesnt matter. Just dont inflict your "double barrel soluation" on the children. If he is such a pansy he wont even stand up for the tradition of children having their father's surname, you go girl - give them yours.

I dont understand the pride taken by some in describing themselves as a "feminist". Its akin to a guy beating his chest and proudly proclaiming that he is a chauvanist pig.

Runner, I suggest since you allegedly resort to taunting someone about being the victim of an attempted rape that you are allegedly a twat.

If it is the mark of patriarchy to adopt the husband's name, why then carry forth the father's name from the wife's (is that another dirty word?) father?

I am in favour of following tradition and care little what others do. However, hyphenated names can be a source of embarrassment for young children, a nuisance in filling out forms and a chore when signing. Some friends carry their maiden names where the name was key to their business. As I say though, do what you will.

I am surprised this subject has attracted any interest, it is so seventies, but I guess this is the silly season. From experience I would have thought that hyphenated names died out sometime before the new millenium. Perhaps it was long before because I remember two people trying to get the subject up at a dinner party back in the early nineties only to be ignored because the subject was so old hat.

These days the few who might hyphenate or take their maiden (a quaint concept these days) name are the pretentious gits in comedy sketches. It is easy to imagine Todd Chester and his wife Margo from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation having a hyphenated 'relationship' with similarly hyphenated children while the snobby and trivial Margo would also go one better and keep her maiden name to impress (as if anyone would care).

I can't imagine why there is a marriage revolt. What is wrong with young men that they don't want to team up in an act where they are the prop for an endless whinge about men and the patriarchy?

No wonder so many young women run screaming from the feminists - they are so damn frivolous, vexatious and boring.

For the record, Roscop, I wasn't saying that women who take their husbands names are docile.

I was saying that women who would marry a man who insistent point blank, that they give up their name, and would hear nothing to the contrary, would indeed need to be docile, as any man who shows no sign of allowing his wife to make such a fundamental choice, must indeed want docile wives.

I was pointing out that your comment does indeed reek of old-fashioned attitudes and a refusal to let women keep a piece of their own history and personality.

So, I'll state it again - I in no way think that wives who decide to take on their husband's name are docile. Wives who allow themselves to be ruled by their husband however...

Docile wife?! That is an urban myth for Snopes.

Have a look around, there would be very few wives who let their husbands rule the household, family matters and the children's affairs. The archetype of the hen-pecked husband is real enough for many/most Aussie men. The children know who has to be asked first and it certainly isn't dad.

Similarly there would be few husbands who control the spending. Men wryly joke with one another that "What's mine is the family's, which the wife spends for us and what's hers is hers to do with what she chooses - I don't go there and I wouldn't be game enough to ask."

Honestly, who cares about names, all the majority want is an easy, predictable way of naming all who are part of the same family. Children need to know they are part of a unit that supports them.

What I do know is that if a man wrote a piece about the unfairness of having to buy his sweetheart an expensive engagement ring (and we all look at the latest sparkler on a finger), there would be droves of angry women who would question his 'commitment' and 'love' for his intended. After all, if he loved her he would make any concession, right?

I am not equating a ring with choice of name and I am not reflecting on the history and traditions of surnames or marriage. All I am saying is that having listened to many men there comes a point where they must question why on earth they would ever sign up for a contract that provides them with so much angst and probable loss of assets and children to boot, without any enforceable conditions that could be of benefit to them at all. Most see the name as a reflection of the responsibility which they gladly take on board, not as some right.

We wonder why so many young men are demanding some reliable pre-nuptual contract when there are those who would quibble at the altar over such a silly, mundane matter as the surname.