Thank you Nicholas...I know someone with an international background who has this same attitude - so it may not just be Australia - perhaps it is because people spend so much time seeing so many 'perfect' images of love nowadays that unless they get that, they don't think it is 'real.'

My best relationships and connections are with people who I have argued with, have challenged me and for some reason, still love me. The 'ultimate connection' comes after time and commitment - and I think most people are scared because they have been hurt and are a bit too sensitive.

Life is not perfect. Thank God! We are here to learn and love - so just get on with it - give it a go!

The scary thing is that these girls who have been brainwashed by secular humanism are likely to be leaders in our nation. In the past we called them sluts and hores. It is a pity a few more parents are not instilling some self respect and decency into their kids. If these girls are representative of society God help us. Maybe we need Islam in order to wake us up to our stupidity.

Ah, excuse me runner, but in the past you used to call us "sluts and WHORES" not "hores".

Goodness. You may believe we're all going to hell in a handbasket, but that's no reason to let standards slip.

Meanwhile, this article appears to be saying that women these days are spoilt for choice, are always on the go, find it hard to know when to settle down. No sh!t, Sherlock. Are we really to believe the author spun this out to a phd? Well, thank god for Uni Tas, eh?

Thank you Nicholas for a well observed article. It seems that part of the problem is with our view of time. As your quote stated: “time is no more a river, but a collection of ponds and pools”. The moment is all we have. We are locked into the present, insulated from the past and in fear of the future. That is why experience has become such a big thing for us, it is all we have. Such a time locked existence is bound to be destructive of the human person, especially of our most intimate relationships.

It occurs to me that much Christian theology is concerned with the question of existence in time. For example, Pope Benedict XVI said the following about human reproduction: “The transmission of life is inscribed in nature and its laws remain as the unwritten norm to which everyone must refer. Every attempt to divert attention from this principle remains sterile and does not produce a future”. The sexual revolution has severed the connection between sex and reproduction and hence the production of a future. If sex is reduced to experience then of course a better experience might lie just around the corner, hence our being stuck in time.

The fundamental aspect of the God that Christians worship is that He is the “One who was and is and is to come”. The proper name of that God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This formula holds all time together and is the reason that we understand God as being eternal. Do away with this concept and of course we become shipwrecked on the shore of the present and there seems to be no rescue to hand.

But this does not only effect our intimate lives, it effects everything we do and is the acid that is presently corroding human flourishing

"Is this the last person I’ll ever have sex with? How can I know this so soon? What if I’m wrong, and I’m missing out on years of youth and (deleted) and experience out on my own."

Oh, so true - there might always be a "bigger bang moment". That single thought (the search for ecstasy) permeated my thoughts from teenagehood to my 50s. Although I strayed all over the highways and byways of philosophical and spiritual exploration, it was always the act of physical congress that gave the expression to these things in my mind. I am sure I am not alone.

So any comment to this blog would have to be a confessional, wouldn't it? And human nature being what it is, who amongst us going to justify their life's experience in less than glowing terms?

But having said that, I think that it's fine to contemplate the possibility of further adventures. The women with whom I cohabited in the past, moved on to have excellent adventures of their own. It was just a matrix of which I was only one thread. We still all treasure one another (it can't be denied) and our children grew up just fine. Maybe their lives were enriched - I'd like to think so.

I sometimes wonder if it would be possible to roll all of that learning into one relationship. Maybe there are lifelong couples who have the potential to grow so wise, but I'll never know, because I can't go back to the start with my accumulated experiences.

The great lesson I learned is never to be promiscuous while still in a relationship. You'll never find the ecstasy you seek unless you have been honest enough to sever the present relationship, and allow loneliness and sorrow to work their special alchemy upon one's grotty little soul. Only then can one be worthy of the time and respect of the next accidental "victim".

Any regrets? Of course. I wish I had loved them all a little more wisely.

- which is where we came in -

Nic.,

A correspondent is emulation aptly described by Thoresin Veble c. 1915-1919. Herein, the hoi polloi emulate the elect. Britain to balance its trade book, were aware the quaxi would help spread the use of Opium addiction [imported from the British colony of India]. The mass aborations in society, perhaps, have followership as an attribute. Self-confidence and individualism are important. Herein, secular liberal democracy is to be praised.

I could not find it in a Pych. dictionary but there is term like "liberace" [can't remember spelling exactly] which refers to peolpe whin in relationships are excited only by the fron-end of relationships. When things plateau or become more mundane the relationship breaks-down. These are peoole whom have three or marriages, and addicted to the courtship end rather than partnership-side of relationships. This seems true of the personality of several high profile entertainers and the Me generation. With latter I guess its a like step off a train onto the platform whilst the train is moving to fast, they might not fall but, stumble and to no progress smoothly.

Sells, before, you atttack me, note, there is a difference between self-intrest and individual as constucts.