You can't generalise like this article does. One unknown guy called Frank does not represent the majority of male female violence situations. It's usually the male who uses violence and mostly they get away with it as women want to keep their family together. Meaning look after the kids financially.

As it happens I lost my home and kids because of a marriage breakup but it wasn't violence. It was my ex's decision and she certainly used every trick in the book to rip me off.

But I did not seek revenge etc as it would have hurt my kids. I left them in their home with their mother simply because she had taken them and legally I couldn't win. I still see those kids so I kept contact and see them as often as they and I can arrange.

If Frank's story is exactly right then Frank is the dummy. Marrying poor Asian women is a fool's paradise. There are exceptions but mainly Asian women marry Westerners for one reason only. Money. And it is the male ego which makes them ignore what is obvious to all.

Let me be Frank. I'd just walk away and wait for the child to ask to see me while ensuring the child know I love them.

Anyone who marries a partner they don't really know is a fool. Either sex.

Are the laws skewed? You bet they are. Big time. But all it really means is be sure about your relationships. Mine lasted 14 years and I have had another which is now almost 14 years. We make mistakes but we also move on.

Men and women should not loose anything that they had, material or monetary, before the relationship. What should be judged is the responsibility of caring for any children. Men and woman are equally capable to work, and should not be entitled to any support whatever as proceeds of marriage

Franks story is not that uncommon.

As usual blokes feel they are not heard or listened too. In part because men do not talk much about their experiences this limits awareness of what is happening.

The basic senerio is a bloke meets a woman from OS, he thinks he has it made and it appears to be too good to be true.

She comes to Australia, they marry and after 2 years or a child, he is accused of DV, she has citizenship.

Bingo there goes his assests.

RobbyH,
"It's usually the male who uses violence and mostly they get away with it as women want to keep their family together."

Studies which don't assume that DV is a male issue tend to find that women initiate physical DV at a slightly higher rate than men. Have a look at the links I posted in the Cave man thread for a couple of examples. http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?article=6232#90240

You could also look at http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/ID41E2.pdf and http://www.mediaradar.org/ (I don't know the background to that site but some of the material they reference is very relevant).

From what I've seen the studies which find that men initiate the majority of DV are studies which don't seriously consider any other possibility.

Generally when those who disagree do actually engage on the topic they eventually conceed that rates of physical violence are similar but that at the extreme end of DV men inflict serious physical harn at a higher rate than women. I'm not aware of conclusive work on that subject as both genders can and do hide DV claiming accidents as the cause. I think that current research backs up that view.

My understanding is that about 70% of marriage breakups are initiated by women. I can't reference that stat at the moment but if I find it I'll post it. Plenty of men stay with abusive partners to keep the family together.

R0bert

Robert and Robby, you both wrote great posts.

Violence seems to be on the agenda lately. I know from work experience that terrible physical violence is perpetrated on women by men. But by the same token, I also know of terrible violence, emotional and psychological perpetrated on men by women with devastating effects.

Although, women of course also cop this kind of thing. Sri sounded an awful lot like my first true blue Aussie husband of seven years. I actually at one stage wished he would hit me, because that is easier to prove than weeks of silent treatment, verbal abuse and threats. That kind of thing is very difficult to deal with.

We really should have a violence campaign that gives voice to all these kinds of violence, that they are perpetrated by both genders and that they are not acceptable.

As for DVO's. I for the life of me cannot understand how somebody can use this tool over and over and over again without thorough investigation and resolution with some kind of follow-up. It is horrendously misused with the consequence that it is almost useless for women who do need them.

That Frank lost the house he owned before marriage puzzles me. Joint property that was built up over the years of marriage/co-habitation is divided. I suspect there is much more to the story. My ex-husband also accused me of laziness and not being willing to provide the 'comforts of marriage'.

For anyone thinking of getting married or co-habiting I can recommend John Gottman's book 'The seven Principles for making marriage work', otherwise, sign a pre-nuptial agreement.

I'm pretty impressed that Sri, a simple Oriental woman living in [presumably] 3rd world conditions could pull such an elaborate ruse off; at least the child's got one intelligent parent - at least there's some hope for their future.

I say this because I know a situation very similar and the child turned out to be a genius (and thankfully my girlfriend), the father was a complete dolt though.