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The Forum > Article Comments > Kids rule > Comments

Kids rule : Comments

By Peter West, published 20/10/2006

Unless we learn to say 'no' we are brewing an enormous pot of trouble for our children and grandchildren.

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when the leftist psychologists told the world that it is wrong to discipline children they had as much vision as they have nowadays-none. why don't we ask those "experts" from 30 years ago what they make of the situation now. make the parents responsible for the kids' behavour was the latest i heard. great ! make discipline for kids at home or in school a criminal offence but when the kids derail blame the parents and the school system.
so long as we are silly enough to let these taxpayer funded psychologists interfere in our lives we're all on the same low mindless level as these experts.
Posted by pragma, Monday, 23 October 2006 10:01:05 PM
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Arjay I so agree with you.

People wonder what is happening to our youth but they dont do what needs to be done to find out because they are scared of what they might hear and what might need to be done.

Somewhere along the line they should ask the children as the vast majority know what the problem is.
Posted by Jolanda, Monday, 23 October 2006 11:50:52 PM
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Bondi Pete, you certainly have some good generalisations there. Not so sure that these all fit into today's society, what with all the changes that feminism brought about.

Mum's teach about emotional things, eh? How about emotional bullying and emotional blackmail. Plenty of women I know are expert at that! And you can see their daughters copying them. Both men and women have their bad points as well as good, and these get passed onto the next generation as well.

I dont think that most people have a problem with Dad's as parents, except maybe for a few hardcore feminazi's, but the thing is that mum's make most of the parenting decisions, so parenting discussions centre around mum's actions (or lack of). Few dad's seem to care about how their child is educated (apart from "good" or "bad"), or examine their own behaviour to see what aspects are being picked up. Now, before anyone jumps down my throat I am aware that there are notable exceptions and these are to be applauded. But you only have to turn up to a P&C meeting to see where the balance lies. But this is something that has been the case for many years - its not a recent development. Not sure how you change this.....

Cornflower, I believe its shaken baby syndrome, recognising that the danger lies in children aged under two. No harm to a 15 yo comes from a flick to the ear-lobe. If your worried about shaken babies, you should concentrate your efforts on the over-zealous dads and granddads who enthusiastically bounce young children up and down in the thought that they are doing such a good job in engaging with their children.
Posted by Country Gal, Tuesday, 24 October 2006 8:37:55 PM
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An old joke told in our family is

All kids need a pat on the back. As long as it's often enough, hard enough and low enough.

Not to encourage harm to kids of any kind, but an occasial small slap might save a lot of the arguments that we see.

Well mums rule in the family...
maybe after kids, as Peter said.

Poor old dads get pushed aside.

Rudyard Kipling wrote in 1911

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion when she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
‘Twas the women not the warriors, turned these stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Posted by Bondi Pete, Tuesday, 24 October 2006 9:59:36 PM
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If corporal punishment works so well why not mete it out to adults?

I can see it now: woman receives six strokes of cane across the buttocks for littering Mall. Unlikely.

What about the cane for girls in school? Unlikely.

Come to think of it, why are boys always the target for floggings? Same reason why young men are sent to war?

What about some gender and age equity?
Posted by Cornflower, Wednesday, 25 October 2006 10:07:26 AM
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I have no problem with girls getting the cane if boys will. Provided that punishment is meted out fairly, based on the consequences or potential consequences of the mischief engaged in. The problem hence is that the consequence of the mischief that boys get up to is generally of greater significance than what girls will do. In days past.... playing with guns (hopefully this is a thing of the past), sling-shots, bullying animals (kicking dogs, pulling wings off flys), physically harming others... need I continue. The actions that girls take tend to have less immediate serious effects, so they have been less likely to be punished to the extent that boys have.

That said, I think that the cane is probably a little severe in all but the worst cases (eg those boys that made that video in Victoria should cop the cane on a daily basis for the next year or so - make the consequences real and immediate, as putting them in jail is only going to be more likely to turn them into hardened little crims).

Likewise parents should have the right to physically discipline their children. What do you suggest to talk a persistent toddler out of sticking their finger in a power point. "No" and removing them from the situation only works so much. At some stage they need to realise that if they persist, they are going to be hurt. Given that the choice is between a dead baby and a smack on the hand, I'll take the smack on the hand thank you very much. It doesnt take much of this before baby realises that Mum or Dad means no (and yes I have circuit breakers and power point covers, but not every house that I visit does, so I consider teaching my child that these are dangerous and to be avoided as accident-proofing my child). A little pain for long term gain. And really, these sort of smacks are not sourced in anger or meant to hurt or harm the child. They are a source of control and teaching from concerned parents.
Posted by Country Gal, Thursday, 26 October 2006 2:23:01 PM
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