Laurie very nicely put.

R0bert

Laurie,
What R0bert said - you put it beautifully.
Jane

I third the motion, Laurie. Summed up perfectly.

I wish I had thought of the words you did.

I am truly looking forward to the response from those who disagree and find fault with your summary…

I will use the last sentence of Laurie:
"But what works for the couple."
And just what works for the couple?
What does the hell does that mean?
Get the wisest people in the nation to interpret just what it means.
It means whatever the person says it means
One must dominate and one must be dominated.
THEY CAN"T BE EQUAL AT THE SAME TIME.
So I will demonstrate to your four who can not, and will not, and refuse to see.
There is someone worse that the blind person.
The person who refuses to see.
So, I agree with you Laurie.
I agree with you R0bert.
I agree with you ena.
I agree with you Reason
Now you win and I lose. I have compromised my position and you four win against me.
Now that works for the five of us hey.
It is just like what Laurie says "What works foir the couple.
Whoever says that statement is the dominant one because the other person can only say one thing for it to work.
"Yes dear!" "No dear" "yes dear" "Of course dear" "Yes dear" "That is right dear"

Glen, you might look at the other part of the issue - that Laurie, Ena, Reason and I all agreed, no losers amongst us.

The point which I think you are trying to make about the times that there is conflict is valid, hopefully we all recognise that those times will happen. Ena talked about the stuff she thinks is valid (who is most impacted etc) for those times. Not all relationships have to be primarily about win/loose scenarios, if two people are willing to work towards something better it can happen. If one insists on win/loose situations or dominating there is a lot to be said for so called "no fault" divorce.

R0bert

Of course they can be equal at the same time - that's what equal means - of equal value, of equal importance - even if they differ - even if one takes the lead on this area and the other on something else.
Lots of people mistake equal to mean the same, it doesn't. It means of equivalent worth. Is the grass worth more or less than the sky? Is red worth more or less than yellow? They are not the same, but they are equally important. Is your first child more valuable than your second?
I am your equal, but I am also different. The two are not incompatible, in fact, its what makes the world go round. Are birds more valuable than fish? Is the Barrier Reef more valuable than the Himalayas? They are all of equal importance, but they are not the same.