What I can add to this is that when women earn more than a man in a marriage, men typically reduce their overall commitment to family life. I have just posted an article on this:

http://ozconservative.blogspot.com/2006/08/role-reversal-in-family-what-does.html

Only 51% of men in such families continue to work full-time, compared to 96% of men in traditional families. Such men only spend 5.8 hours a week with their children, compared to 9.2 hours for traditional men. Such men only father an average of 0.77 children, compared to 1.7 for traditional men.

What's even more extraordinary is that in the small subset of families most committed to "gender equity" (in which there is a belief that men and women are interchangeable in family roles) mothers only spend 5.3 hours per week with their children.

So it is not just men who become demotivated when their role in the family is cut loose from powerful gender instincts - it appears that women also lose much of their commitment to motherhood.

Mark Richardson what proportion of women in the Australian work force earn more than their husbands? Very few.

Are you so miserable that you will stop an individual [of the female persuasion] reaching her full potential because it might puncture the delicate ego of a male?

F*#$ you!

You know, Mark, it is really about time that some men recognised that the responsibility it is really important they take is responsibility for themselves. We don't want you to feel responsible for taking care of us, especially if the unspoken down side of that bargain is that we must give up our hopes and dreams for ourselves and sublimate our will to yours.
If life deals with you badly, you need to deal with it, and stop blaming others - particularly women for your fate. The adult response to misfortune is to look at your own part in bringing it about and learn from that. Clinging to outmoded, rigid gender roles for fear of living a real life, for fear of what "might' happen if you change won't get you far, and may be part of the reason so many relationships break down. There has been some research done, actually, that says the more rigidly stereotypical the gender roles within a marraige, the more likely it is to break down traumatically.
If all of us took responsibility for ourselves instead of pontificating about others, perhaps we would all get along much better.

Ena,
Get divorced, take responsibilty for yourself and then don't complain in hundreds of words about men.
Then you will be able to write, I think.

Mark I've used this analogy previously but I think it is a good one.

Much of the turmoil we are experiencing is like the turmoil you get when you move house.

- It's hard to find things because they are still in boxes or you don't know what cupboard they have been put in.
- Your new house is cluttered with the stuff you brought from the old house rather than disposing of before the move but which is not needed here - you've got built in's here the old wardrobes are no use.
- One of the kids is having an ongoing hissy-fit because they liked the old house better and this new one is just no good.
- One of the other kids who was sick of having the smallest room is trying to get two rooms and make someone else sleep on the veranda.
- Your still not familiar with the route to school and work so sometimes you run late getting there.
- If you get up in the dark you bump into things because you don't know your way around like you udes to.

Society is changing some things which we had become familiar with, most of the family have decided that the harm to most of the family staying in that old place was not worth. The transition will not always be easy but for those willing to move on it will be much better once we get unpacked and work out where stuff needs to go.

The kid who continues to go on about how the new house is no good and that they liked the old one better was probably the one who had the best room at the old place and doesn't like the fact that the other all have similar rooms now. Time to get over it and start working out the best way to unpack.

R0bert

Glenwriter

1. Am not writing to win your approval, therefore loss of backrub, no loss.

2. About the "save the women and children" thing - I have never understood that. Sure, children first, but shouldn't that be with both parents?

Scenario: If I place myself on the Titanic, as a single adult (no children) I would ensure that my niece and nephew with their parents were on the lifeboats first. To lose an auntie is sad but to lose a parent would be a catastrophe. As a single adult I could take care of myself - along with the other single adults. It never made sense for the father to die - especially back in the days when the wives were totally dependant on hubby for financial support. I guess, today, my original point remains true - save the children, first, their parents, second and the rest can take care of themselves.

Richardson -

You are confusing sexuality with gender steroetypes and creating a straight jacket not only for yourself but (tragically) for your children. How can they reach their full potential as adults if you deny your daughter to fly a plane (if she has the desire and aptitude) or your son to become a nurse (because he has a deeply nurturing nature)?

Men and women possess the same skills to varying degrees - as humans do, for example I topped my class in maths, science, english and art at school. You would've limited me to a career focussing on writing and art simply because I am female. At Uni I studied landscape architecture (Bachelor of Applied Science) which utilises ALL my abilities.

R0bert -

Your analogy sums up the pain of change beautifully - however, the people to whom it is aimed have their hands over their ears and are screaming and stamping their feet. But don't let that stop you - I need to be reminded also, when I think there is no hope for we human beings, I know the one constant thing is indeed change.