pedant, thanks. More flexible working conditions would help along with some sanity in starting hours (a lot of blue collar jobs seem to start so early that single dads would find it impossible to work around).

I managed to do a 36 1/4 hour (5 day) working week and shared care involving a mid week changeover for quite some time by starting late a couple of days a week. During that period my ex mostly managed to work one day a week (and mostly one of the days our son was in her care). We appeared to net about $100 per week difference after tax, child suppport, benefits and my train fares were taken into acount dispite me being in a reasonably well paid job and her hourly rates being quite low.

For some the poverty cycle is not all that deep.

R0bert

Founder, my 19 year marriage / 20 year relationship ended about 13 years ago.

My ex worked, her choice, after grabbing 65% of the assets, she received maintenance from me for another 10 years and held her hand out for every dollar of public subsistence she could grab.

Despite an agreement for me to take my daughters for every Wednesday night plus alternate weekends, they actually stayed with me, if they were coming for the weekend, from the Wednesday on, which meant the girls were with me for ½ the time (not that I was bothered by that, the girls and I have always enjoyed a great relationship).

I did not seek adjustment to the maintenance agreement and never received a cent of public funds. My daughters did not receive youth allowance or anything else directly, their mother grabbed it all.

Coming and telling hardworking fathers how tough you might think you have had it will not cut it with me or some others here, who I know, from their posts of the past, have suffered similar “inequity”.

One success in all this, my daughters are a source of love and pride for their father and I for them. We have the best of relationships despite the threats and intimidation of their mother, which included removing them from Australia and of course, the good old “YOU (being me) will never have anything to do with them after the family court have had their way”.

It just goes to show, when fathers stand by their kids, kids remember who did what was right and who did what was not right.

Single mothers should knuckle under, maybe listen more to their partners and stop expecting everyone else to turn their lives upside down to subsidise a lifestyle which they have not the wit or responsibility to develop by themselves.

Robert “For some the poverty cycle is not all that deep.”

Yep, It starts with, no bingo, manage a budget, fewer cigarettes, hang back on the grog and try finding dignity in personal effort instead of handouts.

Fisherman re “no one forces single mothers to be such” - not just widowhood (at least you recognise that’s not a choice) – what about escaping a physically abusive relationship or where the father of the baby “disappears” (to avoid child support)? Some choices! Why blame and punish parents if their circumstances don't meet with your approval?

I don’t consider $25,000pa a “lurk” with a child to support. $13,000 of that would be taken up just by rent (presuming rent of $250 per week for a house). Then there’s food, medical expenses, schoolbooks etc. (disclaimer: I earn approx $60,000pa before tax and my husband earns $60,000pa before tax and he pays $13,000pa in child support for his 8 year old son).

It’s all about forcing single parents to work in cleaning, retail, hospitality and (shock, horror) childcare for low wages - doubt if more than $25,000pa!

Col you would have been impressed with my (widowed) mum – she didn’t gamble, smoke or drink. But she still needed every cent she could get from government sources to keep me and my brother housed, fed and clothed while she finished her degree so she could get a better paid job (and thus pay more tax to the government!). Yes you seem to have been a hardworking father who had it tough – that does not mean there aren’t hardworking mothers who have had it tough also. You’ve had a hard time – why don’t you recognise that others have a hard time also. You say “single mothers should knuckle under” – what do you mean by “knuckle under” I truly hope that is not a literal instruction!

To me it just proves the point of the article – without easily available child care the cycle of poverty will continue for many single parents. There must be some creative solutions – eg. the government could provide free child care for all workers and in conjunction with decent permanent part time work more single parents would be working (and paying tax!) and the free childcare would create many more jobs in childcare.

Most single mothers are created by their own choices. The incredibly small minority of those escaping abuse are the exceptions as are the widows.

The majority are those who see the financial perks.

The lies and the propoganda of the Australian Child Support Agency (coupled with the slander of the mainstream media) - 76% of their staff receiving child support - do not show the reality that the majority of payers of child support pay and pay excessive amounts. Action to reform the 'fundamentally flawed system' show why it is inevitble that a small minority dont do the right thing.

$25000 is an amount ALOT of Australian COUPLES earn from WORKING to support not only themselves but their children. No such things as a poor single mum.

In order to be politically correct and thus avoid censorship from the feminazi's infesting these forums I will attempt to remain objective.

As a Single Dad of 13+ yrs ('ex' left after gaining her Australian 'Citizenship') I find it most exasperating to find employers who really, honestly understand the dynamics of single parenting and trying to get oneself free from the clutches of Centrelink & CSA. Trying to re-skill in other trade areas in the vain glorious hope to establish a business = self employment has not come to fruition.

Kids get sick, get asthma, thus not 'sick' enough to go to hospital, not well enough to go to day care etc. Therefore boss is "understanding" the first & maybe second time you take days off work. Upshot is that no one really has a true concept of your situation and you are subject to the vagaries of the 'system'.

Advanced Macrame and Origami courses are all designed to feed the Welfare system and "Feel Gooders" but really achieve zip overall. Job Placement agencies are singularly useless also.

11 yrs after starting Electrical & Refrigeration studies at TAFE (NSW - WA - NT ) the dream is still some way off, so I get work in my basic metal trades background and fill in jobs doing whatever is on offer.

It all in all gives false hope to those single parents who wanted to have a go but are constantly thwarted by the economic rationalist mind set that prevails.

So, to the feminazi's - I do understand the plight of women with kids, ex spouses who won't pay Child support and I'm nauseous from hearing that its always the 'blokes' who don't (excuse the pun) "pull their weight."

The irony is that you have had far too much say in the policy making decisions. I'm sorry but you folk via your narrow single view misandrist perspectives on relationships are now being hoist upon your own petard's and it's our kids who suffer most!

Pedant “There must be some creative solutions”

Yep try thinking about their own future before it happens.

Try acting with some sense of responsibility for the consequences of their actions of today.

Try building a network of friends who they can give support to (and possibly gain support from when they need it) and who they can at least talk things through before taking irreversible action.

Stop looking to strangers (nee government) to pickup the pieces and the tab.

That said, their will always be unpredictable events which merit some form of support. But that minority of worthy individuals is swamped by a stampede of unworthy, bloodsucking, freeloaders.
- As similarly illustrated by fisherman.