The other de-stabilising aspect of this is the lack of a partner. It is very lonely being an adult on your own without physical closeness - try living without your partner or anyone else touching you for two years...especially after being with just one person for 21 years.

So, what would I suggest for mothers who find themselves single?

1) Access to some relevant personal training (I highly recommend www.humanrelations.org.au) so that they can improve themselves and adjust to their new reality

2) Access to more information on child care resources like family day care (if it is available in their area)

3) Volunteer local community families willing to provide additional emotional support to both the mother and her children (the children need to mix with other children in similar situations outside of their school environment but also feel accepted as they are and not be labelled SINGLE MOTHERS - married mothers are just called mothers)

4) Access to specific training on running a single parent household - budgeting, parenting, new relationships, finding suitable work

5) Access to free and low cost social activities where children are welcome and you are not ostracised by the two parent families (at the hairdressers I was asked if both children were from the same father!! - community education and awareness could be improved)

6) More support for fathers to cope with the additional responsibility if they are sharing the care of their children (part of new regulations coming in from 1/7)

7) Additional training on managing relationships and negotiating with a former partner.

8) That people planning to have children have access to a 'relationship audit process' so that they can be confident that they will be able to remain together for the next 20 years (my parents told me not to marry this man - but an independent person may have helped me 'see the light')

We have a new tennant. Shes a lovely girl.

She told us she had two kids and a husband. Well its really the live in sometimes boyfriend and 3 kids[ she forgott the mention the 6 months old AND shes having another!.

She Does not work but all kids go 6 days a week to child care. YOU PAY FOR IT. Her boyfriend baths the kids and feeds them as well.

They get around the system by doing a home computer course of anything.

WHY! do we provide CHILD CARE PLUSS pay their keep as well?

For god sake wake up to these slack imoral women as they give all women a bad name.

It's so easy to be polarised on this kind of topic - single mums are long suffering saints or single mums are self centered demons.

The reality is probably like most things in life a spectrum. Some are genuinely doing it very tough as a result of external circumstances, others deliberately manipulate the system for a variety of reasons including a passion for unearned money and most probably sit in the middle somewhere. Their own choices have contributed to their situations and they find themselves in a trap that is hard to get out of.

Attempts to paint the extreme situation as the norm do little to change opinions of those who think differently. Yes there are some single mums who are widows and there are some who have very cynically set out to live off their children but hopefully neither extreme is the norm. We need to find a way to support the former and protect the children of the latter from the lessons they may learn from such a parent.

One of the first questions which should be asked - is the father willing to provide a reasonable contribution to the care of his children? If so then the emphasis should be on shared care of the children. For those who might wish to dismiss shared care because of concerns about the safety of children please have a look at the stats on substantiated child abuse and who does it before raising the issue - The National Child Protection Clearinghouse is a good place to start http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/sheets/menu.html. I am aware of plenty of fathers who have only token roles in the raising of their children not from their preference but as a result of the choices of the mother of the children (combined with the difficulties financial and emotional along with the harm to children resulting from residency disputes).

To raise children successfully most of us need the support of our community in one way or another but the responsibility for the choice to begin lies with the individuals who choose to begin that journey.

R0bert

Maximus, although I do agree that single parenthood caused by a partner’s death is less than single parenthood caused by separation/divorce it’s not as uncommon as you suggest. I suppose I may be a bit sensitive in this area because when I was growing up my mother was a widow and unfortunately occasionally people would treat her like scum for being a single parent. As for accidental pregnancies they are not the exception (with approx 100,000 abortions per year in Australia there must be a good swag of accidental pregnancies in there). It sounds like you want to blame and punish people for being parents if their circumstances don't meet with your approval whereas I think everyone should receive support.

Further, I don’t agree that a democracy only rules for a majority. A democracy rules for everyone because everyone has to follow the laws (liberal democracy = form of representative democracy where the ability of elected representatives and the will of the majority to exercise decision-making power is subject to the rule of law, and usually moderated by a constitution which emphasizes the protection of liberties, freedoms, and rights of individuals and minorities).

R0bert I agree that the emphasis should be on shared care of the children. More employers should offer decent permanent part time work!

All of the posts have valid points.It certainly wasn't so popular being a single mother 30 years ago without any financial support.
I work in a store, and most of the single mums I serve have more money to spend than I do. One rough young guy pointed his baby out to a friend, saying"three thousand dollars" obviously referring to the baby bonus so generously dished out by our government.Why do so many of these girls have so many kids?Don't they know what's causing it?
From what I.ve seen, most of them have generous allowances both from the government and the father/s as well.I see them shop till they drop every day buying cute designer clothes that I never afforded as a mum.

I am amazed.

No one forces single mothers to be such. Sure, there are some thru unfortunate events of death of a spouse, but at the end of the day they have their own choices.

The legislation - a long overdue change to the welfare state of Australia - makes people accountable for their own situation. Government is not a crutch to exist.

Consider the lurks of their existance (per fortnight:)

Parenting payment: $499.70
Family Tax A and B: $137 per child plus $110
Rent Assistance: $118.00
Child Support (they dont create themselves)- minimum $6 average around $100

Total: $965 per fortnight - also add in subsidised gas, eletricity, transport, medical thru a health care card. $25090 without tax in benefits for one adult and one child! How many working Australian families earn LESS?

The majority of that is TAX FREE and offers no input into the Australian economy due to taxation. In essence, free medical, roads, schooling, etc. Fair?

The money well is drying up and the 90+% of single mothers are now forced to take accountability for their lives. ABS stats also show that 86% dont bother looking for work prior to this legislation.

When compared to partnered women - whom the majority of which also work either part or full time - you can see that most of the time single mothers are not a 'poor single mother' but more someone taking advantage of a broken system