...This article (as interesting as it is), fails to address the human instinct to "obsess".
Without obsession, no relationship would survive past the point of initial copulation, as in much of the animal world!

Au contraire. It's exactly what rendered my own committed relationship asunder!
And the possible reason many young men are choosing to remain single?
Or why the divorce rate has risen to a staggering 40%!
My Gran had a saying, why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free!?
And people who now just judge the book by its cover, are all to often, in for a rude awakening!
Internet dating may be fine, but the only real way to get to know the real person, is by living with them!
And actions always speak louder than words!
And it the little acts of kindness,(done daily) that is the real glue that binds!
Rhrosty.

An entertaining article, but I wasn't really sure what the authors were trying to say.
Are they suggesting that women prefer men who have had previous partners?
I know many married couples who met at school and married the first person they went out with.

Certainly there are many couples who are married for the second time, but I wasn't attracted to married men who were out there trawling for new conquests.
If a married man was willing to stray once, then I would consider he would do it again with his next partner!

My sister divorced her husband and then went on Internet sites to find a 'friend' but it has been a disaster as far as the rest of her family and friends are concerned.
Her new partner is not at all 'compatible' with her and she could do so much better.
She likes him though, so what can we say?

Interesting article. It happened to me once, when I was trying to attract the favours of woman A, who was not reciprocating my interest. But then when women B showed interest, all of a sudden woman A decided she was interested in me after all. Didn't realise those wily entrepreneurs had set up a company to provide this service.

It also happened in Indonesia where one woman was acting as the 'wing-man' for another. Woman A was singing the praises of woman B, saying you could be happy marrying and having a family with woman B, who was sitting there smiling, and I was chatting and joking with them about all this, when all of a sudden the first one's spiel turns into the the plural, "we [excluding the listener" could do this and "we" could do that.

"What?" I said "You mean, happy with *two* wives?"

"Yes!" they replied with one voice LOL.

It was great and I think there should be more of it.

Rhrosty

"why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free!?"

Your Gran was very wise. I buy powdered skim milk - at $5.95 - way too expensive.

Pete Planta

Malcolm has got this completely wrong. Ladies are not judging the quality of a bloke by the girl on his arm, & thus deciding whether to make a play for the bloke. No way, it is their natural cattiness coming out, rather than judgment reinforcement.

What they are doing is judging whether they can beat the girl first, then looking to see if the bloke is worth the effort.

As a mid 20s bloke, busy working hard to earn the money to pay for my motor racing, & working on the car, I did not have much time to socialize, or look for a girlfriend.

I found at social gatherings, as a single in the crowd, you tended to disappear. However, have a lady on your arm, & a large number of other ladies would check her out, then you.

I did have 3 single lady friends, & I mean friends, who did not like going anywhere alone. They would accompany me, or I them when asked, to various places. These ladies were definitely looking for husbands. I was unsuitable as husband material, as one told me, she did not want a husband who turned up dead one Sunday night.

If you looked you could see the ladies surreptitiously checking out your companion, & then you. My lady friends would sometimes go home with someone else, where I, never having mastered the fast pick up line, did so only occasionally. In fact, looking back those many years I can see that it was the ladies who chose to pick me up, rather than any winning skills on my behalf.

It is these experiences, that lead me to believe Malcolm has the cart in front of the horse here.

Hasbeen

Maybe "their natural cattiness coming out" was too rough on them at that time.

I must opine that as women (and probably men) age, from 50 on, it seems to be much more materialistic. Car, house(s) and bank balance, the sum of what one is worth. They appear to be the essential prerequisite for true "love".

Can I ask what you were into by way of "she did not want a husband who turned up dead one Sunday night"? Dangerous job? Post soccer game fights?

Planta Pete

Interesting Jardine, I never got to Indonesia, too many pirates around there for me, but I have seen women hunting, even if they did not realise it themselves.

After I gave up racing, I went sailing. I would sometimes take a few mates out for a Sunday sail on Sydney harbor. One of those mates was a real ladies man. He would always have the most attractive lady on his arm, although he did not appear to be anything special.

We would sometimes anchor just off Camp Cove for lunch, just inside the heads, a quiet little beach where many ladies as distinct from girls would go to sunbake.

With in a few minutes this mate would say, "right, let's go get some ladies". He & perhaps a few others would swim ashore, & soon have the right number of ladies swimming back out to the boat. It was amazing to me.

When I asked he showed me how he did it. You could tell by how she was sitting, what she was wearing, & where she was looking, & for how long, which were checking out every bloke on the beach. He also showed me how to tell which ones would not notice even a Greek god on the beach.

I'm not even sure if it was a conscious interest on the ladies part, but it was sure like reading a book for him. Unfortunately I still needed someone like him to handle the chat, as do many blokes.

From these trips 2 of those mates married ladies we met at Store beach. These were the sort of people who would never have known that the lady was interested, or how to brake the ice, even if they did.

I sometimes used to wonder that we had all these single blokes on the harbor, & single ladies on the beach, & how much we needed more blokes like Fred to bring us together.

What do men want in women?

Enough studies have been done to state that the first thing a man notices in a woman is their.........waist size.

When a man sees a woman (even from 500 metres), they will consciously or subconsciously look at her waist to hip ratio. The optimum waist to hip ratio is about 70%, and at that optimum ratio, it indicates a woman is usual without health problems, and not too fat or too skinny.

If the woman gets closer (within 500 metres), he will usually look for symmetry in her face and body. If the woman has a symmetrical face and body, it indicates she is unlikely to have a genetic problem.

He may talk to her to gauge her general intelligence, and at some time he may look at her breast size. If breast size is very small, it indicates possible health or hormone problems.

Just about last thing on the list a man will look at is what she is wearing, as most men have minimal interest in women’s clothes.

Ironically, most women consider clothes the most important factor., then breast size and then their face, and most women don’t even consider their waist to hip ratio.

Women dress for other women, a comparison, rivalry thing.

It is the f... me heels and red lipstick that are for the man. Not suggesting that they do not wear that little black number and reveal more for men, but the Vogue looks are to dominate other women and flaunt their success (interesting to define). No mistake that the Vogue models have that superior, almost sneering look, described dramatically (diplomatically?) as 'sultry' and 'sophisticated'.

There is no doubt whatsoever that women go for a man who has been previously checked against 'The List' and cleared by another woman. How many of us when we were single, found it easy to work the herd because of that? Women don't object to that either if you are not scummy, dependent, creepy and false - which are usually inevitable consequences of uptight western misunderstanding of roles and 'courting'.

However lets hear from the SNAGS who consider themselves 'friends' of women, and from women who deny their own biology.

‘Qualities sought by females in a mate (such as sociability, dominance, parental ability etc.) …’

‘The problem for men ... largely centres around characteristics that are easily observable (smooth skin/lips, lustrous hair, spritely gait etc.).’

Ugh! Eew! Groan! Women yearn to be dominated and men are shallow.

Where have we heard all this before? Oh, that's right! In a million stories, films, books, ads, images, songs and folktales drip-fed to us every day of our lives from Day 1.

Are we EVER going to move on from this sexist crap?

Killarney, in case you haven't noticed the sexes are not factually equal and cannot be. Are you ever going to move on from your sexist pretending women don't have babies crap?

Killarney,

You may already know it, but this rather funny video revels what women look at in men.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdIAa6gnaco

They look at his biceps, his groin and his butt.

The women are probably following some natural, primordial, feminine instinct.

If all men looked for were women's waist or breast size etc, there would be many many single women in the world.
Likewise, if all women looked for was a muscle bound body, or bulging crutch, then there would be far more single men around.

After an initial quick look at the person opposite you that either attracts you or not, it is most definitely the personality that seals the deal.
How often do we see physically mismatched couples in the community, and wonder what they see in each other?

Give me a guy with a great sense of humour and a cheerful disposition as opposed to Mr. Hot guy any day!

Hi Pete.

I was racing cars, up to Formula 2 & formula 1.

This was in the days when there was no money in it at all, in 10 years I had only 2 that did not cost me money. I went sailing just before people started making a living at it in Oz.

I also lost a job I loved when the company, a division of Boer Warner for gods sake, an automotive company, heard about it. They told me I would have to give up racing. I was too valuable, & they had too much invested in me, for me to not come back from a weekend racing.

I quit of course.

Hi Hasbeen

Thanks for the info.

I'm glad you gave up Formula 1 and 2 and that you're still in one piece.

--

@Suseonline - I agree
--

@Incomuicardo, Thursday, 21 August 2014 3:07:39 PM

Where you say "When a man sees a woman (even from 500 metres), they will consciously or subconsciously look at her waist to hip ratio."

Checking out waist-hip ratios would be an amazing feat at 500m. I don't usually carry high-powered binoculars or a telescope around.

Also age comes into waist-hip which defeats such a purely physical assessment. ie an average 52yo will not compete on ratios with the average 22yo - however a 52yo would be a far more compatible age group for me.

Cheers

Pete

Suse

'Give me a guy with a great sense of humour and a cheerful disposition as opposed to Mr. Hot guy any day!'

I'll take Mr Hot Guy. I have all jokes I need.

BTW I know what a 'bulging crotch' is, but what's a 'bulging crutch'? A padded walking stick?

'Crutch' is the area of clothing.

Suseonline

Its all here.

“Gaze Pattern Variations among Men when Assessing Female Attractiveness”

http://www.epjournal.net/articles/gaze-pattern-variations-among-men-when-assessing-female-attractiveness/getpdf.php?file=EP12167177.pdf

But there didn’t appear to be much variation amongst men, and what men look at appears to be almost universal.

The first thing men look at is the woman's waist to hip ratio, which is the best indicator of the general health of the woman.

So women spending huge amounts of money on cosmetics or clothes or hair styles is basically a total waste of money, (because men hardly notice).

The woman would be better going to a gym.

Why women look at a man’s biceps, crotch or butt is probably a part of some natural instinct in women.

Killarney "I'll take Mr Hot Guy. I have all jokes I need."
Lol! His looks will fade and he will be boring!

Crutch/crotch are interchangeable.....I was suggesting that some women check out the clothing that lies over the male crotch area for a size indication, rather than stripping them all down for a closer inspection : )

In my experience, not all that much I'll admit, the ladies really liked a man who could dance well.

I always wondered about that. Was it that they liked a bit of public cuddling, or was it that they were more interested in what he could do with what he had, rather than merely what he had?

I also wondered at the fact that so many ladies who went dancing quite often when single, appeared to lose interest in it, once in a relationship.

As the years go buy, once the urge for horizontal sex becomes a memory there is always simulated sex, in the form of dancing, performed vertically.

Pete

Wow what an article.

My life experience absolutely confirms many of these findings.

Recently 10 weeks ago I fell in love. My partner is an absolutely stunning mature woman, blond, curvy, very attractive, taller and younger than me. I'm 61.

Whenever we are out I am openly hit on by other women, notably much younger women. While ego boosting, I find it embarrassing. This has never happened to me before whether with other women or single. I discussed it with my partner. She thought it was normal behaviour. The same had happened in every relationship she had ever had.

She loved my response, it was so different form the responses of her former partners. There flirting with the other women infuriated her.

I ignored or dismissed the advances and focused on her. To her that was new and she loved me more for my exclusivity and for putting her on a pedestal.

We are soon to announce ...

What attracted us?

Strength, laughter and listening to each other.

10 weeks later not much has changed.

We now listen much more, understand each other better, laugh more often, appreciate and tolerate each others flaws and now have wonderfully complete intimacy.

I've never been happier and nor has my partner. It shows.

People are just so nice to us when we socialise, particularly younger people.

I often pinch myself.

We were both alone in a coffee shop when we met.

I was unshaven and writing on my tablet. She saw Ernest Hemingway.

She wore knee high boots and gold, lots of gold. I saw Cleopatra.

Neither of us are disappointed.

Make what that as you want.

That is going a bit far Pete.

I don't find any less urge for horizontal sex, although I must admit to some slight diminishing in the capacity, frequency, [in any one day you will understand], & endurance.

Congrats imajulianutter

I hear you're inviting all of us OLO commenters to the Wedding?

The inevitable Training Film http://youtu.be/XnJUyksPg64

Cheers

Pete

No Pete we are going to elope. Our kids have too much difficulty with us being happy.

Imajulianutter, if you only met this lady 10 weeks ago and are already planning marriage, I can understand why your kids are hesitant .
Why the big rush?

We can't.

They are all nearly 30 or over. They all are pretty much financially ok.

We are both over the age of consent, financially independent, oversee our own businesses and are sort of semi retired. With our capital and abilities We ruled a line under all our past activities and intend to buy a place together and support ourselves from our new venture and the directors fees from the other businesses.

We both raised our kids by ourselves and never remarried. We both put them first until their mid 20's.

Well good on you!
I wish you all the best as it sounds like you both deserve happiness.
Cheers,
Suse.