MardiGras as an organisation just provides the community a framework for festival events as well as the parade and parties.

I would suggest that your friend organise an event for same-sex attracted celibate people and then put in an application for inclusion in the festival. Or, organise a float for the parade itself.

The recent inclusion of intersex individuals in MardiGras has come about because they as a group got together and started organising and actively engaged with the organisation.

As with the gay experience, it wasn't until people started coming out and living honestly and openly did opinion start to change.

My hat off to Tony.

Sexuality does nor deserve to be a defining factor or made a big deal of.

Thank you Jamie for this beautiful article.

They may have been absent but you haven't clearly explained how they were ingnored.

"However year after year and again in 2014 voices like his were absent, indeed ignored."

Surely, it is "for Tony and perhaps others like himself" to be proactive (and no, that wasn't meant as a bad joke).

"Tony wondered why people like himself who were same-gender attracted, yet wished to remain celibate, were for all intents and purposes invisible..." well, I suspect that for some it is because they prefer it, but Tony is not precluded from becoming involved in MardiGras as you quoted from the booklet, "A chance for all of our communities, our tribes, our colours to converge..."

If he follows Zakalwe's suggestion to organise something, Tony could even call it "Dorothy's Friends Without Benefits".

Maybe he doesn't know, or hasn't made up his mind yet?
Maybe he goes both ways, but not necessarily, simultaneously?
That would have to be very hard?
Perhaps he doesn't know whether he is coming or going?
Maybe instead of coming, he went!?
What would, (forever butching it up) very manly, bear hunting, horse riding, hairy chested Putin do?
Have his own Queer Mardi Gras, starting in say, red square and finishing in Independence Square?
Now that would have to be the mother of a Marathon Mardi Gras?
And everyone could wear masks, dress in military costumes, put socks in their jocks and ride on military vehicles?
He haw, ha, ha.
Rhrosty.

This mockery is utterly disgusting, Rhrosty.

Tony has already made up his mind: he will not allow sexual attraction to rule his life - That's what I call a true hero!

...And you, therefore, a coward. While the vast majority of us are slaves to lust to one extent or another - you cannot even face the idea of freedom, even just the idea or the presence of one who has victoriously conquered his senses.

Yuyutsu "victoriously conquered his senses."

How Victorian!
Chastity belts for everyone!
That comment stinks of the repression encouraged in past eras.
And it sounds like Tony is carrying on that repression, but pretending its an empowering "choice".

People react quizzically because (a) he's a man who never has sex (b) he's a *gay* man who never has sex and (c) he *chooses* to live that way (rather than it being a circumstantial misfortune).

The idea of a straight man never having sex is weird enough, but a gay man?
With straight men, they have to go to often extraordinary lengths to get into bed with a woman.
No such difficulty with gays. Sex is readily available in any major city.
This is why people would scratch their heads.

Sex is enjoyable and available.
Unless there were other mitigating circumstances (disease, ugliness, poverty, etc.) nobody will ever understand this "decision".
Perhaps Tony is AIDS-phobic, but uses other excuses to avoid sex.

The very fact that he rejects all but the most blandly technical of labels shows an inherent aversion or rejection of his sexuality.
No wonder there's little acceptance of his "tribe" in gay circles.

Like many people, I myself see the mardi Gras as a specticle worth viewing at least once in our life times, the old, cross it off the bucket list scinario.

I attended the MR last year, by chance as we were in town at the time and i can tell you it was an event i recommend every attend at least once.

The funniest thing for me was while walking away there were these guys sitting at the pub windows with signs saying, 'show me your dick', i thought that was hilerious.

As for media covearge, i guess they are like me, with the 'who cares' attitude, because after all, gays are the minority, so they would be well advise the get over it.

so rechtub, should left handers (also a minority) just 'get over it'?

Anyway, I think the problem with celibate people generally is that although it is usual for most people to make their sexual preference known, it isn't nearly as common for people to flag their level of sexual activity. Also, there is a bit of a conflict between gender attraction, which is not chosen, and a deliberate choice such as being celibate, which could change over time. Good on Tony for being true to himself, and good luck to him with getting recognition at Mardi Gras.

Candide "Good on Tony for being true to himself"

Is he?
He will only acknowledge being "attracted" but refuses to act on that attraction.
This does not sound like a healthy attitude by a mature, self-assured person.
He's no teenager still figuring things out, nor are there any aggravating circumstances that would make it difficult.

It's not like he's saying he's simply not found the right partner or circumstance.
He's ruling it out altogether.

That reeks of denial and aversion, not self-acceptance.
I know, I've been through that process myself.

And to expect Mardi Gras to cater to this is ridiculous.

For one thing, the events have nothing to do with SEX!
The program does not list "Tennis match followed by SEX", "Chess competition followed by SEX", or "Painting class followed by SEX".

If he wants to play tennis or chess or paint, there's nothing stopping him.

One thing I say is certain about the Mardi-Gra and other pop culture on gay issues

is that the Mardi-Gra and other pop things seems dominated by not just gayness but a "sexual over-promiscuousness" that may be partly what the author meant.

This overt "slutness" is not relevant to being gay or to being treated equal.

This would be like an extremely overtly sexually promiscuious event for heteros being an event to supposedly represent all heteros when in fact most would feel sick.

I am not against sexual overtness, in fact I love it.

But it is too much to publicly push it into our minds the vile and slutty image of the Mardi-Gra

To note again the LEFT and their constant control and hindrance of REAL equality progression in the world - why is it always Fred Nile or some Christian nun who is mocked at these eve3nts?

When are the Muftis and Sheiks going to be mocked? When are symbols, images and other representations of other more non-western cultures which are overwhelmingly more in need of education regarding gays, women and all things for equal rights going to be displayed at these events?

Never? Why not? Is this because, as the Iranian president once claimed, "Gays do not exist in Iran, we do not have gays"?

Or is it because (as I myself first hand know and knew a person like this) gays from strong religious/traditional backgrounds like Islam and others who not only are not recognised by society but even largely by themselves. I knew a clearly feminine man who was from Iraq and had a wife and kids and never spoke of gayness and no-one from his country ever mentioned it to him. This kind of torture, living in a cultural prison of fear is the kind of thing the LEFT need to focus upon as themes for events like mardi-gra.

BUT yet again the LEFT simply will not let ANYONE venture near those ideas, lest they be shot down with right-wing and bigotry bullets, silenced, mocked by all and considered a joke - Pauline Hanson?

I am really amazed at how these arguments can be ignored by our society,

how unless they are not revealing all their cards. Perhaps (as I suspect) the Left and supporters believe non-western peoples to be sub-people, somehow not fully capacitated or disabled, such that like with a retarded person or a child, the mistakes and errors (e.g. breaking a glass) are never truly dealt as if they are equal but instead the issue is seen as if some retarded child is nearby and so we must be extra polite and must ignore their stink and lack of manners for they are but children.

As bizarre as this must sound and as odd and foreign the concept must be let alone whether anyone will actually comprehend my arguments,

the sad truth is that this is FACT.

For what else could the reason be that gays never mock anti-gay forces and people in other cultures, non-western cultures? Considering especially that compared to Fred Nile or the church the treatment and understanding of gays and of many issues regarding rights and human dignity and equality MOST non-western societies are extreme to point of being off the scale of western levels.

Perhaps this lack of genuine seriousness in the Left is why the Gay Mardi-Gra is similarly not serious and is really just a big slut sex fest.

I apologize for using the "sl" word but feel the need to display the feeling I have.

And remember I love all open and promiscuous sexual things but this is still not the point here.

"Sexual over-promiscuousness" is the sign of someone not entirely at peace with their own sexuality. People need to parade their promiscuity not to show that they are liberated from the restrictive mores of the past but because they are insecure about their own attitudes to sex in the present.

Sex by its very nature is a personal and private behaviour. How we deal with the very natural sexual feelings that we all possess is entirely up to us as individuals. So long as it does no harm to anyone else then it does not need the sanction of any other group or individual. In the Mardi Gras it seems that many people are seeking permission or showing defiance where neither is necessary.

So much of the overt behaviour that Jottiikii talks of is either a cry for help or an aggressive slap in the face which says, “I don’t care what you think I am going to do what I like”. When people are insecure they look to how others react when they behave overtly. When they make ’jokes’ about sex they instinctively look at those around them for a reaction as if they are looking for approval or even help to sort out what is true about sex. Other overt behaviour tries to deliberately embarrass people and make them feel uncomfortable. This is an aggressive act with no other reasonable motive than to try and hurt those whom they perceive to be inhibiting their freedom in some way. In both cases we have individuals who are insecure about sex trying to solve their insecurities by immature and irrational means.

There is no good reason why the Mardi Gras should contain these elements and it would be equally true if it were a heterosexual parade. It might be a reasonable thing to do to celebrate freedom from discrimination but such an occasion should not be a platform for individuals to try and sort out what are basically individual insecurities.

The Mardi Gras is a major draw-card in Sydney.
It now ranks as a high-income earner and tourist
attraction for the city. Of course it also
is a celebration of the homosexual community -
"We're queer, we're here," get used to it!

I don't understand though what a male's decision
to remain celibate - has to do with the Mardi Gras?
After all one isn't obliged to take part in it - if
one doesn't approve of what the Festival is celebrating.