You may be correct that very many women feel let down, even cheated, in life. They have believed everything would be perfect, in todays world, with motherhood, a nice home, car, & labour saving devices. That so many of them are basically dissatisfied with their life, as their children reach maturity makes this obvious.

You see many of them at any gathering. Middle class women who are unhappy with their lot, although they have everything they ever aspired to, all the "things" at least. Yet some how happiness continues to elude them.

She has no idea why she is not happy, but in her attitude you can see that she blames him. The poor bloke has no idea what he has done wrong. How can he? She doesn't know herself, but he's done something wrong anyway.

If you are a bloke in this position, hang on there, she just may grow out of it. The coming of grand kids does appear to be a switch, a bit like childbirth.

Your lady just may turn back into the one you married, & once again enjoy doing things with you. It may even be some of the things you have wanted to do for years.

Those grey nomads can't all be wrong

There are very few imposed gender roles anymore given that everyone has access to a wide variety of occupations depending more on individual talents and motivation. Much of what is limited is more self-imposed I would think than society imposed. 'Society' has come a long way from the times when women were forced out of the workforce by law once they were married. Those few troglodytes left are a minority but I concede if you come into contact with them, that is hardly any consolation.

Women do not hold sexual power any more than men do. I always marvel at that comment. Men can say no too - I don't hold that men are so governed by sexual urges all reason goes out the window. It might come as a shock but women like sex too.

Being a mother is not something that should be demeaned. More men are staying at home although it is still largely a woman's choice. While it is mainly men oddly enough that diminish the role it is disappointing that some women also diminish the role perhaps in emphasising the importance of career. I tend to ignore those who imply, perhaps unconsciously, that women who choose home over career are somehow lacking, letting the side down or choosing to be a chattel.

I reckon Col is right, people in the main should just be left to get on with what they think is best for them and their families.

Gaining social approval is for those who lack the confidence of their own convictions and let's face it - what a pointless endeavour.

"While women are routinely expected to sign as guarantor for their husband's business aspirations, proportionally far fewer men will put their financial lives in the hands and control of their wives."

floatinglili, I work in an area where I get to view this firsthand. I agree that in more than 50% of instances, women go along with their partner's business desires. However I disagree that they are routinely expected to sign as guarantor (although some are expected to sign on the dotted line without questioning). As for who has financial control, I would argue in the case of the 500-odd businesses that I deal with, its the wife making the underlying decisions. The other 50% the wife is there to breed, look after the children and look after the household. I am pretty satisfied with the split - 50% is quite a reasonable representation. Whilst I could not possibly cope with handing over the financial responsibility in my household (the small amount of time I did this whilst having my two children just about drove me nuts), there are some women that are most happy to do so. I tend to not befriend these women much, because we dont have a lot in common to talk about, but I respect their choice. At the end of the day they have ended up married to a person that suits them.

Aaaargh!

I am saying that it is unacceptable to attach worth to a human being based on what genitals they have!

Forget butter, how do you decide on the value of a human being

@Peter Hume. Yes I get your argument about butter, and completely agree. I do think though that it is important for a child to have time with their parent/s as a young baby, and I support unpaid parental leave in this context. I would dearly like to see more fathers take up this opportunity (instead of whinging that they are working so much more and never seeing their kids). My boss (male) believes that men should have access to flexible working hours as well as women, and makes this available as an option. I work whatever hours I need to get the job done (at the moment that's 5.30-7.30am, home to get the kids ready for school, then back to the office at 9 to do a full days work) - in return for this, I can go to school assemblies, finish early on Fridays, and knock-off by 6pm. Blokes are free to do the same if they are willing to get out of bed early.

Jennifer,

Could it be that our society is now too complex? All these "problems" associated with gender have accompanied our triumph over previously unquestioned gender-specific roles.

In a traditional village there would be no argument in the raising of a child in a gender-specific manner. This would be a matter of the intrinsic value of each gender being seen for what it was.

I think it comes with the territory that once we reached a stage of development where gender lines were blurred we would begin to argue about the specifics of the new paradigm.

Humans have always been in the grip of a dominant truth regime regarding gender - the only difference is that now we can peek inside the womb and begin the process earlier.