Holly you missed one "But too many men are still caught up in the fiction that you have to be “10 feet tall and bulletproof” to be a real man." - Being a "real man" because women only value "real men" is pretty important.

It's not just the fault of women who promote the idea of "real men" though, responsibility lies with all women to reign in other women, to change the culture.

Then we could start on the role women play in promoting the desirability of "bad boys" and the impact that has on levels of violence, sexual assault etc.

Anyone want to put money down backing the idea that Charlie Sheen would be struggling to get a date at the moment despite the well publicised incidents involving him and women?

What about Shane Warne or Tiger Wood's and their history of choices in relationship? Would either of them be struggling to find female company at the moment?

How responsible do the women who would not touch any of them with a 30ft pole feel for the choices other women make?

R0bert

I cannot fathom why people choose to make this discussion into a gender argument. Surely any behaviour that conveys insulting, hostile and degrading attitudes and leads to negative personal and professional outcomes should be condemned by us all?

Reading the various comments, there seems to be a discrepancy regarding the types of actions, behaviour and communication that people consider sexually offensive. As a result this probably may contribute to the continued existence of sexual harrassment.

You are right Lexi. Many people do have differing views on what constitutes sexual harassment.
Most mature people do understand the difference.

Houellebecq <"So it's the patriarchal white nights then...BTW, what do 'real women' do?"
No, sexually harassed women don't want white nights, they just want to feel safe and respected in their own workplace.
Real women report bad behaviour in their workplace so other women don't have to go through the same thing they went through.

I assumed we were mainly talking about sexual harassment in the workplace here? Many posters seem to confuse sexual harassment with the sort of drunken behaviour in nightclubs where everyone drunkenly thinks they are 'hot stuff' and thus able to behave badly. I am including both genders in this statement.

Most men won't bash another man in the workplace because they suggest that other men stop sexually harassing women...to suggest they would is doing a disservice to men.

Luckily for victims of sexual abuse in the workplace, there are laws to protect them, and if the law upholds the fact that a crime has been committed, then that is fair enough for me.

In clear cases of sexual harassment, I agree with Pelican that everyone should speak up. However, when we do, the reaction that we always get goes along the lines of "women love it". The tosser in question will then cite his (typically extensive) history of "conquests" as proof of his knowledge of women. There is nothing more that the rest of us can say.
A few weeks later, he has another girlfriend, who gushes about how confident their new guy is. No matter how arrogant a bloke is, there is always someone who loves his confidence.

Furthermore, as James mentions, some women have extended the definition of sexual harassment to include any flirting from any bloke they dislike.

These conventions need to be clear, or they will never be taken serious.

The conduct of the individual is influenced by the norms of the surrounding society. In the past inequality between women and men, and a tendency for men to view women as actual or potential sexual property - that is, as sex objects confirmed the view that the role of women was to gratify men. The woman's feelings were not at issue.

Today, most people no longer hold this view and most people do not sexually harrass others. Sexual harrassment in the workplace is now illegal, and since corporate and other employers may be held responsible for their employees' conduct - may well be curtailed in the future.

There are some people, it seems, who are convinced that any normal person will be flattered by sexual attention in any form. The myth has it that people enjoy the attention, that they find it easy to deal with, and that the behaviour is trivial in any case. Surveys show the reverse is true. Almost unanimously, people declare that uninvited and unwanted sexual advances make them feel trapped, defeated, intimated, or demeaned.

This is understandable, for these norms of sexual harrassment even though they're practiced by a small minority have a wider social significance and determines the type of society that people want to
live in.

lex,

'I cannot fathom why people choose to make this discussion into a gender argument. Surely any behaviour that conveys insulting, hostile and degrading attitudes and leads to negative personal and professional outcomes should be condemned by us all?
'

The gender argument is set by the title and the headlines, and even the whole article that focuses on mens responsibility to stop other men from harassing women.

'should be condemned by us all'

I agree. But the authors point is it should be especially condemned by men, and that men hold a special responsibility to stop it that women do not.

'violence – whether harassment, domestic violence, or rape – is a ‘men’s issue’. '
ie: By virtue of my gender, I bare responsibility to police the actions of other men, and women hold no responsibility for such.

Well, I see women as integral participants in society, and I see men as no more responsible than women for what other people do.

In what area of society do women hold responsibility for the actions of other women? Or do women never hold any responsibility for society at all?

Suze,

'No, sexually harassed women don't want white nights'
So it's option A then.

'Real women report bad behaviour in their workplace so other women don't have to go through the same thing they went through. '

But what about women who only observe sexual harassment of other women? Aren't they under the same obligation as men to speak up? If not why not? And if so, why does the author state it's a mens issue and men hold all the responsibility?