Hi,

I wanted to get everyone's take on discipline. Especially spanking. Do you believe it is helpful?

In certain circumstances I think it is reasonable to smack your kids.
That said, NEVER EVER use smacking as the default go-to punishment.

Make then do push-ups instead, everytime.
There's a reason for this, and it's not for them it's for you.
It's so that when they drive you to the point of losing your temper, you don't treat them unfairly when you're enraged.

"Drop and give me 10"

Push-ups isn't the real punishment though it's just the initial one.
The purpose of the push-ups is to give you a few seconds to calm down and think clearly, at which point you can dish out a far more creative punishment to really screw with them.

So you stand there grinning, watching their little arms strain while they pump them out, digruntedly.

That way they don't get the best of you when you lose you temper and you can better manage the situation without treating them unfairly.
They will know it's a lot harder to wind you up, and doing so will backfire on them.
And also, exercise is good for them, much better than smacking.

Try to build a relationship with them, so that you understand their issues and point of view.
Kids aren't always skilled enough to articulate what's wrong as they have limited vocabulary, so you might have to talk to them and read between the lines.

Try not to smack them unless you really, really have to.
-But don't let them think they're aren't boundaries and consequences of their actions.

If you do smack your kids and use smacking as a go-to punishment there are big risks.
At some point, your kid will think that they get punished no matter what they do and will stop caring.
And you will have dug yourself into a hole where all you'll know what to do is to keep smacking them because they don't listen or respect you anymore.

Your kid will start to hate you for it, and become really badly dysfunctional as they become young adults.
- And they will harm others; just as you harmed them.

Jaredpayton welcome much as Armchair critic said but you in my view have every right to reserve the right, under the right circumstances to go right ahead
Us older people got hit nearly every day
Did not hurt but knew it was over done sometimes
Not a fan of PC, minorities with minority views trying to force us to agree

I was waiting for a ferry on one of the Morton Bay islands one day, about 35 years ago. A family of 4 or 5 were on the beach beside the jetty. A baby in one of those large bassinet type prams was screaming it's head off, & annoying everyone within about a hundred yards, it had good lungs.

A lady, I presume it's mother, picked up a large stick, about a metre long, & 50mm diameter, & waved it threateningly over the bassinet. The baby immediately stopped screaming. I was amazed, but my next thought was, "that lady must have very obedient children".

I have to ask, if it works, & other threats & systems don't, why would you stop using it. After all the race survived for millennia before Doctor Spock was even thought of.

Just to cover the point. I never had to use any force of any type on my kids. They really did not like daddy being upset with them.

Just a frown was enough to have the oldest cry, & the younger ones stop what ever caused the frown.

Perhaps I was just lucky, or perhaps I did something right, who knows.

People should raise their own children the way they think is best. However, all parents have a duty to themselves and their children to ensure their children are well disciplined, thoughtful and well-rounded before they are released on society. There MUST be effective punishment for bad behaviour in whatever form parents think best. It is not an area for Big Brother and academics.

// wanted to get everyone's take on discipline. Especially spanking. Do you believe it is helpful?//

Yes, extremely helpful :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_ucQVitRFs

Very interesting comments here. Tough love. Super nanny is interesting too. If kids get to become teenagers without discipline patterns tend to become more fixed

Yeah it's crazy because a while back spankings were the way to go, but now things are beginning to change.I know the Bible recommends spanking as a form of discipline https://biblereasons.com/raising-children/. My girlfriend doesn't want to spank our kids because she was not raised that way, It's cool to see the different parenting tactics. Not one is better than the other in my opinion. Whatever works for your child should be done.

You ask a question that, for some bought fears of very bad parents floging kids
Not one of us would support that
A flick on the bottom is far from that and works

The advice I got on becoming a parent is to reserve corporal punishment for instances where a child's behaviour put it at severe risk such as running across the road.

Both our kids got about 3 spankings in their lives, and none after the age of 5. and in every case the behaviour was never repeated.

Having had an extremely authoritarian, focused, pragmatic father, I had a life, as a teenager, of corporal punishment, employing the use of the strap, the garden hose and the electric or extension cord, but to name a few.
I grew up pretty much OK.
Because it was so long ago, and maybe because I deserved it, I do not think about it or harbour any malice.
Now when it came to my two boys, I never laid a finger on them.
I did not have the courage, or whatever the reason.
Maybe it was the memory of what I felt being physically punished, and did not want my flesh and blood 'suffering' like that.
I did not care about what they would think of me but more the fact that I didn't want to see them suffer or in pain.
Too soft, you say?
Possibly.
I believe it has everything to do with the mindset of the child.
Both mine turned out OK, except for the outside influences.
My parents, nor my wife's, or myself and my wife never drank, ANYTHING.
I have associated spirits to petrol, as I have siphoned enough of it in my day.
My boys have both taken to this social disease, which is disappointing even though we understand the rest of this country drink like fish to the point of destruction.
So we are not surprised they have taken to one of the most abhorrent Aussy social failings.
So my point is that we are what we are and of course we should discipline our children, but not physically.
Unfortunately the answer is, the parents have to redirect their focus and attention to their children, 24/7.
Imagine living next to a swimmingpool without a safety fence.
That's the way you end up with a better disciplined child.
The only problem is, we become complacent and let our guard down by 'giving them their head', which if we are honest is for the parents benefit, because they have 'other' things to do and therefore leave the children to their own devices, which always leads to trouble.

Should parents discipline their children?
That's a no brainer ! It's a vital requirement in the role of parenting.
To not discipline children results in the situation we are in now.