I totally support assisted dying for terminally ill
patients who are suffering and for whom there is
no cure. Especially if they request the right to die
with dignity. I believe that the medical profession's
primary task in these cases should not be to prolong
life (and suffering) but to relieve suffering. In these
cases people have the right to die with dignity and the
medical profession has a duty to assist in that regard.
I live in Victoria, and I am relieved that the state is
actually looking at laws that will help the terminally
ill with the right to die.

Dear AJ,

Thank You for sharing your religious experiences with us.
It must have been difficult for you. I've got family members
who were educated by the Christian Brothers. That experience
has turned them off religion for life.

My mum is in the dementia wing of a nursing home.
She can still recognize her family visitors,
say our names, and sometimes engage in trivial
conversations, but her mind is partially
destroyed.
She is not aware of her plight and expresses
no suggestion of despair.

The preservation of her life to me and our family
is important. Yes, she has lost some of her functional
and mental independence but we love her most dearly
and there's no way that I would ever agree to having
mum end her life. She has many years of living
to do and there are many things that she can still
enjoy and do. She does take part in the art therapy
and music programs - which she enjoys. She also
surprises us with some of the things that she will
remember at times. She is a vital part of our family
and we are lucky to have her in our lives.

That's perfectly natural Foxy. Dementia is one of those illnesses where some suffers seem perfectly content in themselves and often unaware of anything amiss. My partners grandmother is sadly not one, she's often scared, agitated or angry, sometimes all three at once. The nurses working with her are wonderful but generally she's unclear on even where she is at any given moment so its a constant struggle.
Having said that I think any suggesting assisted suicide would cop an earful from my mother in law.
As I said it's always going to be hard. I don't envy anyone the choice but there should be a choice.
With dementia patients though there's also issues of informed consent, in that they can't give it some would argue. Having said that thought families already make the choice in life support cases and the like but I'm not entirely sure that's the same thing.

Dear Zeil,

I'm so sorry to hear about your relative.
I'm glad that she has your families support.
Regular visits are so important.
I've come to know the people in mum's wing of the
nursing home. I know them all by name. Each one of
them is different and they are at different stages of
dementia. I talk to all of them. It's amazing how
I always get a warm response. I never ignore anyone.
Mum has been in the nursing home for over a year now,
and these people have become like family to us. We've
also gotten to know their family members as well and
each of us watches out for each other. Quite a few people
have died during the past year, but I guess that's to
be expected in a nursing home. Still the sense of loss
is very great and makes you realise to make the most of
the time that you do have with your loved ones.

Look on the opposite side of that though, I had an Aunt who died of stomach cancer several years ago. From the moment of her diagnosis there was never talk of any life saving procedures, none were possible, all talk was regarding simple how to stall the illness for as long as possible.
Not a problem with that though.
My problem is after 6 invasive surgeries, chemo, and a battery of painful test my Aunt finally began saving up her morphine. My cousin admitted later that she was vaguely aware of this but didn't want to broach the subject with her mother. She didn't want to encourage or discourage her.
When my aunt overdosed my Uncle found the note and her in the later stages or overdose and called the ambulance more as a formally than on any assumption that they could save her life. She was rushed to hospital and put in intensive care and as horrible as it sound her family breathed a guilty sigh of relief and began mentally preparing themselves for what they assumed was the inevitable.
Only my Aunt after two days in intensive care survived the overdose. Her first conscious moment was spent cursing out the doctors and nurses and paramedics who had prolonged her life.
Mercifully an infection finally claimed her 3 weeks later. But it was hellish, the hospital refused to release her as she still posed a suicide risk.
I remember thinking at the time how ludicrous it all seemed.

Dear Zeil,

In the past births and deaths happened when they
happened, often without medical intervention.
If a baby was too premature or defective, or
if a seriously ill person was dying, there was little
the family doctor could do about it other than to
offer comfort. Today most people are born and die in
hospitals under supervision of medical personnel
who sometimes decide to keep them alive long beyond
the point at which they would normally have died.
Patients can be revived as you pointed out others
can be hooked up for days, months, or years to
machines that sustain their lives. Therefore, technologies
that were intended to save people from unnecessary death
today may actually have the effect of depriving them of
a dignified death.

My mother-in-law decided
to stop eating whilst in a nursing home. She had a death
wish - and they tried many times to revive her with all
sorts of methods. She survived for several months and
eventually did die. I also remember thinking at the time
how much better it would have been to have allowed her to
die with dignity. She was over 90 at the time and she'd
had enough. She virtually starved herself to death and
died alone in the early hours of the morning.

I know that physicians are expected to do all they can to
sustain life but if a person is determined that they want
to die should their wishes be respected? That is the moral
(and legal) question. Why could doctors not be content
to respect people's wishes and let them die in peace and
serenity? Why pursue a vigorous therapy that would benefit
no one except their own satisfaction in thwarting death,
regardless of the consequences.