Celibacy has nothing to do with children being abused. It occurs wherever children gather, mostly men from all classes, races, ages.

It has nothing to do with love. More to do with power, hate and cruelty.

It is not just about cuddling up to, fingering a child. it is full on sex, rape and torture.

Paedophiles seek out environments where there are children, they can operate with some sense being safe.

They are the family friend "uncle" that make themselves part of family, uncle who is always there to take over in an emergency. One that the family find it hard to do without. They latch onto single mums, groom for years to get trust.

The bloke that no group can do without. The one first on the scene last to go. Always willing to pick kids.

I am 74, sadly experienced it very close to home over my lifetime. It has taken a lifetime to realise the full extent of the harm it causes.

Yes, I have some understanding of culture norms of the past that allowed it to prosper.

Back in middle of last century, the church, especially priests played special part in families. Always respected. Someone most found it hard to find fault with. Harder still to confront, rush to the police over.

As for abuse did to the children, many didn't see it as a crime. Just a little too much cuddling,inappropriate kissing, even a little fingering. Dirty old man complex.

Much emphasis was put on the good name of the family. What happened in the family stayed in the family. Unmarried mothers to e where hidden, babies adopted out.

Victims became a long last concern in both home and church.

Yes I have some sympathy for Pell working in this environment.

I have no sympathy for the fact still can't take responsibility for the way he acted, was a part of the culture.

He needs to say, I was wrong, I know now. Until he can do that, he has learnt nothing. He is still keeping his head in the sand.

We were all wrong

"“It is not unusual for women who were molested as children to have a an either greater hatred for there mother than the father committing the crime. Maybe they feel the mother covered for the father (maybe true maybe not). I kind of see Pell's situation like these mothers.”"

Spot on. Kids find it hard to believe mum didn't know. Being a mum who allowed her daughter to be abused, I find it hard myself to believe I never suspected.

These men work hard at breaking down every relationship in their victims lives. Playing family members off against each other. This is what does the lasting damage.

They convince them mum won't believe them, or worse, mum knows, doesn't care.

They create a completely dysfunctional family around them.

At the end of the day, mums are there to protect them. To fix things up. Mum never forgiven.

The brain tells them that is not true. The heart never forgives.

Same can goes for DV. The kids never forgive mum for not fixing things with dad.

PS. Sex was never denied my perpetrator husband. Never stopped him.

Flo:
That is a heartfelt testimony.

Where do you go when dad is abusing you – to your mum. What do you do when she won’t believe you? You just suffer.

Where do you go when the priest is abusing you? To your parents. What if your parents are emotionally dependent on the church and cannot bring themselves to protect their own child because of that dependence?

What do you do if you are in a church institution and your mum and dad is that church institution?

What do you do when you tell one member of that institution but he does nothing because he too is dependent on that institution for his own emotional needs and basic needs.

What do you do when you are too little to run away? Where can you go? Nowhere except perhaps to an imaginary world inside your head where you tell yourself that the world outside your head does not exist for you.

There is brokenness all around but you have stopped the cycle. You are an inspiration.

sorry to hear that Flo. I have heard the story to many times. As a father I just can't comprehend it and yet I have met many abusers and those who were abused. I think many mothers knew but felt totally powerless. I am by no means excusing whatever Pell knew or did not but was I do feel he like many mothers could of turned a blind eye for the same reason (feeling powerless). This shows how sick parts of the Catholic church was. I am so glad I left it. In saying that with 20 years involvement with the church (mainly as a kid) I never witnessed or knew of any abuse. Maybe I was to naïve.

Runner I don't tell the story for sympathy. I tell it to let people know how insidious is paedophilia. In fact has many similarities to DV.

As a mother, I also find it hard to believe how one could harm children, even their own.

It shouldn't surprise one that many are found in the churches especially the Catholic Church.

One will find them wherever children are to be found.