Dear Antiseptic,

Congratulations and all the best on the degree. My daughter is currently doing her second year in the same discipline after coming straight from high school.

She has found no problems with mature age students except for one lady in her tutorials who really drives her batty. This person is highly opinionated and strives to assert that opinion at every occasion, so much so that my daughter has missed a couple of sessions because of her. It is not that opinions shouldn't be expressed, forcefully on occasion, but being a mature woman I think there is a natural deference afforded her, not only by fellow students but also by the tutor who is relatively young as well. It is often difficult for a young person to challenge or to impart/impose their views in such a setting.

I think there are two things worth remembering; if there are 10 in a tutorial then ideally 10% of the time is legitimately yours, the rest is only to be taken by the grace of the others. The other is that the thoughts and opinions of the young are really worth listening to. Wisdom is not eternal and fixed. Their truths are different to ours and if you open yourself to them I think your experience of university will be greatly enhanced.

Meanwhile I have had a great time helping my daughter collect her thoughts on her psychology assignments, and proofing the work she has done. She, as daughters tend to do at that age, often takes a contrary position to mine, but defending it helps her line her arguments up. Her philosophy elective has been particularly fun.

All the best.

Thanks csteele, I take your point.

Unfortunately it's something I need to work on, even with my own kids. I have a tendency to lecture which overrides my ability to listen, so I'm working hard to overcome that.

I wish your daughter (and you) well with her studies. It would be nice if my own kids were academically interested, but neither of them are.

Antiseptic, "I have a tendency to lecture which overrides my ability to listen"

Heh, heh, that is not uncommon in men. We are inclined to interpret a difference, unknown quantity or complaint as a problem to be solved.

You are going to have to awaken the feminine in you and see the goal as listening and empathising -well, sort of, just keep confirming sympathy and empathy while waiting for a chance to whinge yourself. Here you go for instruction, Sybil "Oh, I knowwww",

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPtIHwbguO4

csteele,
Nonetheless, your point was well made and it is pleasing that your relationship with your daughter is sound enough that she discussed her student experiences with you. Well done.

Is it too late to back out? I hope they have counselling services...

Yeah, my first response to any problem is to try to solve it. It sometimes drives my kids nuts, because I keep asking questions as I come across things that need clarification as I reason my way through it.

Apparently, judging from a comment on another thread, it makes some other people uncomfortable too. Never mind, I'm sure that I'll find out all about it.

Antiseptic,

May I add my congratulations also.

Four pieces of advice.

Never be intimidated by your lecturers.

Be confident in yourself.

If you have a question you need answering, persist until you get the answer.

If something doesn't resonate with you, challenge the lecturer or text.

Danielle, thank you.

I have to say I feel no sense of intimidation. Mostly expectation. The subject interests me and I hope to learn a lot.

This is a chance to study some fundamental aspects of being human. What a great opportunity!

My biggest problem will be keeping my mouth shut and my ears open, but I'll do my best.