“The monster within me was getting stronger ..."

This is so very sad.

A tormented soul? Yes. A hero? No.

Why go to a public place so armed, when "The monster within me was getting stronger"?

A momentary, but overwhelming impulse either way ...

It seems that he could have tipped over the edge very easily with resultant massive casualties.

A "hero" perhaps would have thrown his guns as far away as possible and even isolated himself ... A hero would not have tempted that inner monster.