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The Forum > General Discussion > What About Me? #civilunion

What About Me? #civilunion

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I fell in love with a girl a few years back now. I fell in love with a girl who also was born with a genetic disease that spends its entire time trying to take her life. If it wasn't for the AMAZING miracle working surgeons I never would have known of her existence let alone met, and fell in love.

I would give anything to marry her when the time is right but really, I can't even talk about linking our relationship to her disease without fear of risking her life, or our relationship. Because of that disease she needed a double lung transplant. Because of that transplant she needs drugs that only a government can afford and thank the LORD ABOVE they pay for them. Thing is, if they find out we're in a relationship while living together she will lose her access to the government subsidy that pays for her life. We can never marry, less on her death bed. What a bitter sweet pile of [expletive] that will be but do you not do it KNOWING she will die practically straight after?

Imagine NEVER being able to marry because you will die if you do.

The best I can offer her is engagement but if she ever has to visit the government over her disease she HAS to remember to take that ring off or it will kill her ... literally.

We can't have kids ever either. An over-zealous surgeon saw to that. Our chances at surrogacy took a battering along with the gays as well. Will they give someone with a terminal illness a chance? They won't with adoption. They'll let a junkie destroy their off-spring before giving us a chance at loving that kid and giving it a decent life.

I'm annoyed beyond all measure of being annoyed about this, but what do you do? I don't have any answers other than there are people from ALL parts of society copping a shafting from the government as well, not just the rainbow community.
Posted by StG, Saturday, 23 June 2012 7:21:59 PM
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StG,

What a poignant story....but you have each other and you have love and you're "together".

In the end, that's what matters.
Posted by Poirot, Sunday, 24 June 2012 2:44:24 PM
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You're right, of course. But there's still that part of you seeing everyone else do these things as just a matter of course but being so unreachable for you.
Posted by StG, Sunday, 24 June 2012 3:11:41 PM
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Dear StG,

I'm not sure that I fully understand the complexity
of your problem. However, my heart goes out to you
and the lady you love. As Poirot has stated - at least
you do have each other, and you are together, and she's
right, that is all that matters. Love is the ideal
espoused by many religions. At its most spiritual, its
a state of grace that makes forgiveness possible.

Nearly all of us will love something or someone over
the course of our lives. It's hard to put into words, it
just is - something we feel, in our bodies, hearts and
souls rather than something we rationalise in our minds.

Opening ourselves to love makes us vulnerable to loss.
Many people particularly if they lost someone close
in their early lives, protect themselves from the pain by
keeping love and lovers, at a safe distance. Unfortunately
they miss out, and so does everyone around them.

You are fortunate to have found what you need to nurture
your soul and to give life meaning. Your love is the
wondrous, mysterious element in this relationship and
its not something that everyone has. Marriage isn't
compulsory in today's intimate relationships and of course
it is likely to occur less frequently in the future.
However, it's a fair bet that people will continue to fall
in love and try to find harmony together just as they
always have.

All The Best To You Both.
Posted by Lexi, Sunday, 24 June 2012 3:18:17 PM
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...Yours is a classic case of “self-pity” StG. If I understand your situation as outlined in the post correctly, you have an urgent need to be a bit more honest with the Government, before the dishonesty of non-disclosure of your secret de-facto relationship brings you both undone.
Posted by diver dan, Sunday, 24 June 2012 10:33:03 PM
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I looked yesterday, felt your hurt and mine.
Like some, that pain nearly stopped me posting mate.
I understand and support you both.
See your honesty is hurting you.
Some say nothing,not even here, just take what they can get.
I with all my heart ,wish we could progress Social welfare.
The scheme for the disabled will help.
But my often stated often confronted plea to end the fraud, true criminal fraud in this area.
Would allowed such as you two to live a better life.
I wish you both well.
And I wish, one day we get the courage to stop feeding fraud, so we can help the true needy.
Posted by Belly, Monday, 25 June 2012 5:10:03 AM
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