Yeah, there's lots of hilarious things you think to say AFTER the fact, but at the time my mind fell entirely blank (which you would think would bring me down to the right level).

Yeah, the brilliant replies tend to come, on average, 7.5 minutes after they would have been considered a snappy retort.
Makes blogging seem more attractive.
A delay makes you wise and thoughtful, rather than slow off the mark.

That's why it's good to have a set of stupid answers to inane questions that you can drop off the top of a hat to a wide range of questions, with minimum modification.

To any weather query, you can respond with something like:

"Yeah, it has been hot lately. Mostly, I suspect it's those damn Chinese weather-satellites beaming our thoughts to high command. I think they have, like, an effect on cloud patterns or something."

To any given telemarketer:

"Tell you what - I'll buy one, but only if you shave my left testicle first. Just the left one though, my right one's kinda tender. I'm sure you understand."

To any given denomination that comes doorknocking wishing to proselytise:

"Well, if you file a request with god I'm sure I'll get around to considering it in 4-7 weeks. While you're at it, ask him to mow my lawn and fix the middle east."

(This also works admirably if you've ever worked in administration or customer service).

Written surveys are great, because you can take a little time and really mess with statistics. I suspect that's why according to recent censuses the Jedi Knight congregation in Australia has grown immeasurably. Either that or yoda's one badass preacher.

Yep, go for the Jedi - if enough people write it, they have to accept it as a legitimate religion.

The census definately is a whole bunch of fun.

spendocrat, welcome to the whitlam legacy modern australia.

I too have listed 'Jedi' as my religion in the Census.

May the Force be with us :)

The cleavage Yoda the answer he take not. The date for Vader a warrior we must not. Power detract his hand you must. Which was the dark side Luke? I forgot.