The World Cup starts tonight our time, in South Africa.

I'm not exactly a sports fan, but I love the World Cup. It ranks above the Olympics, certain tennis finals and State of Origin rugby league as sport that I get into watching.

One major reason is that I played football when I was young, from about 8 until 22, and I was quite good at it. I was a fan of "English soccer" on TV long before most people I know. My team mates were mostly Poms and Scots, and we played against Italians, Yugoslavs and Greeks. In retrospect, it's probably one of the reasons why I've always been receptive to multiculturalism.

Another is that it is "the" event, above all others, upon which the entire world becomes focused. And it's incredibly egalitarian - it's the competition that pits economically poorer nations against their much wealthier opponents on more even footing than is usually the case in other sports. Kids can hone their football skills on the streets in Rio as well as they can on the playing fields of Eton - if, indeed, they play real football there...

What do others think of the World Cup? Do you get into it, or is it just 'wog ball'? Does SBS really mean 'Soccer Before Sex'?

"We are all children of Africa. We have all returned home".

No wonder I love it. Not to mention the music and dance :)

C.J, I am just enjoying the opening ceremony on SBS.
The South Africans sure know how to move and dance don't they?

I don't know much about the rules of soccer, but my Irish born husband loves it, so I do watch some of the main matches with him.

I became a bit more interested in the game 4 years ago though, when John Allouisi took off his shirt after they won that excitingly famous match in Germany :)

I am a bit worried about the games being held in South Africa though.
I hope all goes smoothly and there is no violence involving any of the players or visitors.

I cant understand the popularity of a game where the most common score is nil all. Not to mention the regular occurrence and appalling theatrics of the players "diving". Buncha pussies. LOL

Waste of Flaming Time!

love
the Grench

I'm not really into sport, apart from cricket, which has been ruined by commercialisation. But my two boys are playing soccer this season and I played it as a lad, so I do have a soft spot for the World Cup.
I like your point, CJ, about it's egalitarian nature. I despise the modern Olympics because it's no longer the 'amateur' gathering of sports men and women it used to be, and because almost every event is decided by how much money was poured into the elite athlete (usually from an elite family and an elite school as well as an elite country), rather than ability.
I encourage my kids to carry the wooden spoon--there's enough competition in life already.

Oh dear, yet another thing we have to disagree about CJ.

It's bad enough that I can only pick up SBS about 50% of the time. Now, for a quite while, [what is it, a month or more?] it will be full of socker, if I can get it, so all those great documentaries I like won't be available.

Great info about Japan> attraction, activities, areas...

http://seejapan-tours.com

I've just been watching the World Cup and those stupid horns drove me NUTS!

I have a few problems with football (soccer)

1. If that is the beautiful game then a few less nil all draws would help make it a better spectacle. Watch an Aussie Rules player after he has played a draw and he is gutted. Watch a soccer player and it's a good result. Pathetic!

2. I can't stand the way players act as if they have been tripped or been hurt!

"OUCH OUCH OUCH that boot of yours came within 15 feet of me and the wind from it really hurt!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6yLDq0iK4U

Are these real men who play this game?...lol

3. Because the match can too easily be decided by a poor decision due to acting and because of the low scoring of the game, I find the game infuriating.

Take Australia's eviction from the last world cup. Australia probably wouldn't have beaten Italy anyway, but come on that decision to give a penalty was pathetic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr2oTmQ0GwM

Was it in International Football's interest for Australia to have beaten Italy? Hmm?

So quickly in conclusion... I won't be watching it because I find it uninteresting OR until those horns are placed forcefully into a more suitable orifice...lol

Dear CJ,

I became interested in the World Cup
after watching Ricky Martin sing
"The Cup of Life!" (France 1998),
"Go go, go,
Ole, ole,ole!"

I even bought the single C/D
and played the song over and over
again. (Danced to it as well).
I wonder whatever happened to it?

Anyway, you're right, it is a great event,
where the rich and the poor get to compete.
The opening ceremony from South Africa
was superb - and as Suze said, the dancing
and the music was inspiring.

I probably won't be watching that much of it.
But - My husband is a big fan!

mikk, "Not to mention the regular occurrence and appalling theatrics of the players 'diving'."

It is women's soccer as well but nowhere near as prevalent as in the men's game:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1226592/VIDEO-SPECIAL-Ronaldo-Klinsmann-Gerrard-Owen-Gilardino--best-divers-football-history.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP5rEffhXfo

Then there is the incessant spitting on the pitch, especially by the English players. Don't they ever run out of saliva?

Going down, spitting and smooching, they must devote training days to those essential features of the round ball game.

CJ Morgan

Having been indoctrinated into Aussie Rules as a child I can only appreciate Soccer at a superficial level - the skills I acknowledge, the low scores drives me to tears and don't get me started on the Penalty Shootout.

That said, I wish for the success of South Africa for holding the World Cup, I can't think of any nation more in need of the moral boost ATM. Well, maybe I can but South Africa is a good start.

Much positive energy being beamed to South Africa.

Cheers

Now further to my total annoyance about those horns, the World Cup in general, and, the ridiculous way Australia was eliminated by the Italians, in the worst case of acting ever, I thought I let you at least get a laugh from the goings on. \

This is how The Chaser reclaimed the cup

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu8Aq0WL1-M

And here is the most amazing footage of a soccer (football) referee ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjynbUNlvWU

Which of course goes to show how laughable the World Cup really is.

Here is one more look at the pathetic acting that cost Australia last time... How much pain is that poor Italian weakling in... even his team mates seem embarrassed by his over acting!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr2oTmQ0GwM

The beauti-fall game...their dreamin'

Come on Opinionated2, you'll have someone going down to suck a penalty for that.

What is it with their short bandy legs and fashion challenged clobber? Well, that and the boring, watching mold grow, tedium of minutes wasted while teams continually return to the ball to the keeper to yet again go through the sloooow build-up for a routine move.

Give me AFL any day. The crowds are much nicer too, being able to enjoy the spectacle and get to and from the game without bashing (skin)heads together.

Yes Cornflower...I got a penalty because my typing fingers were nearly seriously injured by typing on my keyboard for that last post...

Ouch ooo Ouch Penalty Ref, Penalty Ref! My fingers hurt..Ouch Ouch!

I think we should be so proud of Aussie rules. I showed it to an American friend the other day and she couldn't believe how athletic those guys are.

I mean no helmets, no padding, can take spectacular marks after a ball has travelled 40 or 50 metres, can sprint, dodge and weave...and she was a little bit (OOps a lot impressed) with the Aussie male body shape.

I think she was watching the game...lol

Not to be too controversial, but could it be possible that if South Africa makes the final the opposition suddenly all get a case of food poisoning?...OOPS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5iQBLgndTU

Amazing!

Bit suss, but not unusual for teams to get jelly belly OT. Note to manager, provide own catering.

Brought a new sense to dribbling on the field. With apologies, sorry about that image.

Thanks everybody for responding. I anticipated a diversity of opinion :)

Australia plays Germany tomorrow morning at 4am. I expect we'll lose, but one of the advantages of football's low scoring is that it'll probably only be by a couple of goals...

As for those extolling the virtues of aerial ping-pong over football, isn't it the last refuge of those who can't hack thugby?

(That was a joke, Joyce)

I have to admit that I'm a sucker for sports of all kinds. My year of TV is taken up with the Tour de France (first [but not chronologically, obviously] and foremost), tennis tournaments and that irritating conflict between AFL and NRL - which to watch?!! Soccer was the last sport to really seep into my consciousness, but I came to love it two World Cups ago. At the end of the day, actors or not, sooks or not, they're all a hell of a lot fitter and more skilled than me. And I don't mind admiring strengths in others!

Otokonoko

>>> And I don't mind admiring strengths in others! <<<

Exactly. The round football is not my game, I posit that one's fave sport is tribal - a cultural thing depending on where you grew up - much like religion. But like religion, that doesn't mean one has to stick with the same code, nor close one's eyes to the benefits of other codes.

I don't really care who wins. Which is a good thing, because Australia were massacred by Germany.

I do hope that no team develops "jelly-belly" - I reiterate that I wish the entire tournament is a success for South Africa.

Thanks CJ for a fun topic.

Horns are annoying and to be honest adults tripping over other adults and getting paid millions for it is obscene.

Yes, well, my prediction about Australia vs Germany was correct, albeit a worse result than I anticipated. At least 4-0 sounds better than 40-0 :) Let's see if they can do better against Ghana.

About the horns - it's an African thing, rather than a feature of football per se. I agree about the obscenity of paying sportspeople of any description the millions they get paid, but football is certainly not the only offender there.

At any rate, they don't get paid millions to play for their countries in the World Cup.

Whilst I was hoping that Germany wouldn't beat us...I suspected they would.

But once again, (not that we would have won), the Tim Cahill send-off was laughable. He did everything he could to limit the challenge and yet he was still sent off.

Good old soccer proves itself an annoyance once again.

I too admire all those who play for their athleticism and skills.

To all you people who sat up to watch the loss...I admire your determination, dedication and sorry that it couldn't have been a better game for you.

To those like me who were warm and cosy asleep in bed...Did I miss anything?...lol

Hold on, 4-0 is nothing like 2-0, it is a solid drubbing, an embarrassment.

That is why the hankies are out today with players and coach having a good cry while administrators are talking about the knacker's yard.

How old are the Ghana players and are any of them close to receiving the pension? Is a loss of 2-0 feasible or is it too much to ask for?

Opinionated2
Bed was infinitely preferable to that one-sided training game. However what you said reminded me that so much of the after game conversation about soccer focuses on the referee and penalties. That says volumes about how deathly boring it is.

I hope that puts an end to the hype and outlandish displays of overconfidence. Made us all into a laughing stock after all the boasting.

I watched a few minutes of the Greece v Korea game and it was the most boring thing Ive ever seen. Continual backpassing to the goalie and wild kicks down-field or over the sideline. I kept wondering how they could make the game more interesting. I was thinking of things like make the goals bigger or get rid of the goalie. 2 balls could be fun. And then it came to me.
The best thing they could do to make soccer a better game would be to let them pick the ball up. hehehehe

The best thing they could do to make soccer a better game would be to simply make the goal bigger so that the scoring rate is three or four times higher.

More goals can only be a good thing, can't it?

You'd then get a much better correlation between the better team and the winning team, whereas with the absurdly low scoring rate as it exists now, luck has got a whole lot more to do with it than talent or skill.

Mind you, 4 - 0 presents a pretty convincing corelation between the better team and winning team!

Sadly, sport has degenerated into the same kind of formulaic procedure as war and life have. One does not attempt anything outlandish; the thing has been thoroughly studied and it's safety first, statistics second and logic dictate the play---and of course the theatricals. The only way to make it more interesting is to inject a random element, which, of course, for purists is unthinkable. It is curious that we (some of us) still queue up for sporting events when "how you play the game" is such a quaint cliche, and who wins or loses is predictable. All the blowing of horns and waving of flags will never compensate for the empty feeling that attends the guffawing.

Ludwig,

Good idea, more points might reduce supporter violence too.

No goalie.

Also:

- Get rid of heading the ball - multiple slight concussions (practice and game) could result in memory loss and other problems.

- Get rid of those Bombay Bloomers.

Absolutely Cornflower, they do whinge and moan about the referees a lot... especially because one mistake can cost the whole game.

Complaining about referees is pretty standard through all codes of football...but in the other games it is far more difficult for 1 bad decision to decide a whole game.

I absolutely believe that the low scores is often the cause of all the violence. Imagine going to a game all hyped up to achieve a nil all draw, after a few sherberts...good plan...frustrated drunks 101.

And what about the added chance of game rigging such a low scoring game can allow. One keeper slip up and money for jam.

When I was younger I used to watch British Soccer and I thought they were better games than the world cup. The games seemed to swing from end to end with lots of attacking - not much scoring - but lots of attacking.

Just to illustrate my earlier point, did you see the looks on the Aussie rules players faces today, when Melbourne and Collingwood played a draw.

No-one was happy with the draw...and at least there was a whole heap more scoring to entertain the fans.

In soccer they seem to cheer a near miss as something wonderful...lol

"I'm not exactly a sports fan, but I love the World Cup."

CJ, same here. OLEEEE OLEEEHaaaayyyy!

The only thing that annoys me are those horns. I much prefer to listen to the supporters sing: Ole Ole Ole and "Hup Holland Hup!"

I never watch the extremely boring AFL because you need no skills whatsoever. Tackling people and jumping others- I'm so over that, been there done that when I was a 3-year old.

They should try to play REAL football and play the ball only with the feet and no body contact and see how far they get without picking up the ball and running away with it.
I mean, picking up a ball and running away with it... how easy is that!

But I find REAL football very exciting. Men with real shoulders, not fake.

Of course I support two countries: Australia and the Netherlands (woooo-hooooo 2-0 against Denmark. Thank you Denmark for being so generous, lol.)
I'm not as fanatic as my husband, who would get up at 4am to watch a match life.

As I type, my nails are polished orange and I've decorated my house in ORANGE.

Oh and for the ones who were sooooo worried on the other thread a couple of weeks ago about gay footballers in your team, I have a solution: join REAL football - it's a no-contact sport :+)

Naughty naughty sorry CJ but I couldn't help myself and my orange nails typed the above before I could stop them...

'Fess up, you've been drinking the orange hooch again, admit it. Damned alcopops!

No-one, just no-one goes down like a soccer player.

"'Fess up, you've been drinking the orange hooch again, admit it. Damned alcopops!

No-one, just no-one goes down like a soccer player."

Oh I lurv my vase with ORANGE cornflowers, sheesh thank you for supporting the Dutch football team with your avatar, Cornflower.

Nah, I don't drink alcopops, but it's a good idea, thank you!
Perhaps, when I drink myself completely under the table, I will be able to appreciate AFL. I guess I'm just to sober for that game ATM.

The Australian red I drink, kind of clashes with my orange nail polish, but when I have to support two REAL football teams I am willing to make some sacrifices.
And Australian wine goes down almost as well as AFL-ers!

Anyhoo, AFL-ers are just envious that soccer is the world's most popular sport, and for a good reason!
But never mind; I'm sure AFL will be just as gay as REAL football... one day!

OMG - I just realised what Cornflower wrote:

<< No-one, just no-one goes down like a soccer player. >>

No wonder my girlfriends were happy when I played the game :0

Aah, CJ! I thought I was the only one . . .

Celivia, "Oh I lurv my vase with ORANGE cornflowers"

That is the problem with drinking orange hooch (or buying cheap vases) because Cornflowers (Centaura cyanus) are blue. Here you are from the Amsterdam Art Gallery (the daisies and poppy are for contrast):

ttp://www.amsterdam-artgallery.com/bespruzhnaya_ludmila/cornflowers.html

Otokonoko: << Aah, CJ! I thought I was the only one . . . >>

LOL

Clearly not ;D

All Whites to win tonight! (Maroons tomorrow night....)

Hehe good one, CF.
The cornflowers I have in my vase are dried ones though and they are orange.
Who knows, they might have been dyed, I don't know and don't care as long as they serve the purpose of funning-up our house with orange during the World Cup as an addition to flags, banners, balloons and such.

Olé Olé Olé!

I'm very happy to support any other team if my two favourites don't make it through to the (semi) finals.

It's great fun to go out of one's roof in supporting a REAL football team and to do the 'magic' thing with colour! :+)

Hey Foxy, remember we talked about belly dancing ages ago? I have an orange scarf with bells- whoever knew that it would come in handy for the world cup?
We could practice a routine on that Cup of Life song, hehehe.

Hands up anyone who can 'embrace' the monotone continuous blaaaaaaah from the African horns during the games ? :)

I sure can't.

I agree, AGIR. As I said, it is so much better to be able to hear the supporters cheer or sing rather than this draining, droning noise.
It is annoying for the players, too- some are playing with ear plugs in I've heard.
I am able to block the noise out for some time during the match, but for the most part it is very distracting.

Religious background to the trumpet:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8458829.stm

We watch with the sound off. Friends tell us they turn the game off in protest.

Cornflower: << Religious background to the trumpet >>

Those damned godbotherers have a lot to answer for, don't they? (Just kiddin'). Thanks for that though - interesting.

There is good news though for technologically savvy football fans. Apparently if you have an audio equaliser you can 'cancel out' the vuvuzela cacophony:

<< For the Vuvuzela-killer, we need only a high-slope band stop filter that takes out the corresponding frequencies. For this, in principle, any modern computer that has a sound card with low latency and corresponding software should work. In our case, we used a Mac Mini and Logic Express 8. (Actually, such a complex software such as Logic Express is not necessary. We use it only because it was already on it on the computer and the necessary filters are included.) >>

http://lifehacker.com/5564085/how-to-silence-vuvuzela-horns-with-an-eq-filter

Personally, I just turn the sound down ;)

Celivia,

You have an advantage over the rest of the world when it comes to blocking out the noise from the horns.

Putting fingers in dykes is in your genes so fingers in ears would be far simpler than that...lol

Only joking!

The simple solution is to turn the sound down... afterall nothing much happens that needs commentating on anyway...lol

Is it true, that the players have professional acting lessons to get to that level of pretending to be hurt?...lol

I hope for your and your ears sake that the Dutch team does really well.

Apparently the horns have been measured at 127 decibels... so that definitely would be very distracting for the players.

It's still a silly game though...lo

At 127 decibels those bad boys are an OH&S problem and should be banned from the grounds. That is about the same as an un-silenced jackhammer.

A tractor idling can produce 85 decidels, resulting in permanent hearing loss. That is why farmers wear ear muffs.

The administrators have rocks in their heads for putting recent 'tradition' above health and safety. Or is it the $$ because countless thousands have been sold?

Hehehe Opionated2... but if I have both my fingers in my ears, who will hold my orange juice (read: wine)?

Yes we just turn down the sound, but many would've loved to hear the supporters instead of the constant droning, deafening noise. It's TRADITION to listen to the supporters cheering-on the team that is on the ball, and the particular songs and cheers that each country sing to support their team is just part of the fun. All of that has been lost.

Oh btw, here are a few tips to keep or get your beer cool while watching the game:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5_5-lN4T-E

or:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHEQ3D3HdtE&feature=related

or else:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCy_Uk5vjw0&feature=related

That's an interesting article about the religious background of these vuvuzela, CF.
"The administrators have rocks in their heads for putting recent 'tradition' above health and safety. "
Agreed, but did you mean, 'Rocks in their ears'? (Now that's an idea).
But seriously, I fully agree that this is noise pollution and could've been banned for OH&S reasons.
I take your word for the decibels update- I didn't know it was THAT loud!
It may disable the players to communicate on the field esp. if they can't cope with the constant noise and need to play with ear plugs in.
Ignoring the referee will result in a penalty.

First, the vuvezelas were manufactured in plastic instead of metal because long metal objects were a safety issue. Safety trumped tradition.
So it's logical that they should have been manufactured with cardboard instead of plastic because the noise is STILL an OHS issue.

The religions that are responsible for that racket should be forced to nurse their victims' ear-health for life :)
What kind of God would like this kind of racket? A hearing impaired God?

OMG Celvia you really are Dutch....lol

You put a finger in each ear and sit on the floor drinking your orange juice (wine) through a straw...lol That way you can slowly slump down and sleep when your tired without changing locations...lol

And they say women can multitask...lol

As for the noise, don't take my word for it (that is what google is for) but I'll do it seeing you have your fingers stuck in your ears...lol

http://www.breakingglobalnews.com/world-cup-horn-2/1228783

Apparently the players are really upset as they now have to project much louder the fake cries of agony when they are acting like they have an injury...lol

Perhaps if the referees carried some bandaids...the game wouldn't be held up for so long as the bandaid would kiss the terribly painful fake injury better.

Now just to show you a real footballer's injury...

Please don't watch if your have a squeemy stomach

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX2yxGK5ZZw&feature=related

And he hardly even said OUCH!... But I will OUCH!

Granted the cry of pain is helpful but what about some text of suggested cries of agony to go with the facial contortions directed at the umpire?

The world's best player has to have the world's best dive (note the eye contact with the referee all the way to the ground):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82ochcQ56Es

But even the world's best diver has to get booked sometime (there should be music to that):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBBhYrWZnFM&NR=1

Only in soccer do you hear commentators referring to players as "winning" penalties. That is so wrong.

Opi, so funny, you deserve a tulip in your hair.
Yes they do act sometimes, don't they? Annoying, especially if they play against your favourite team!
But on the other hand, I understand that when contact has been made, they need to get the message accross that body contact happened. It works better than walking up to a referee and saying, "Excuse me please, but blah blah made body contact with me."

Opi, wouldn't the definition of a footballer be.. "one who spends time on the field playing football", instead of "one who spends time off the field sulking in hospital with broken legs/ribs"? What good is a player to his team when he ends up in hospital or is unable to play for weeks or months?

But yes of course these dives CF showed are unnecessary.
But unnecessary things happen in every sport.

Was this necessary?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZFCsBvkIcc

I find it hard to believe that these players were not sent to the bench. Violence should not be tolerated. Violence in football/rugby is almost to the point of being glorified.
Why is this behaviour tolerated in rugby/football?
A little slap on the wrist ain't going to prevent this kind of violence in future games.
Soccer players are punished much more severely than Rugby/AFL players because they are given a red card, sent to the bench and their whole team will have to deal with the loss. No cuddles from referees after they have been violent, unlike in Rugby/AFL.
Let them take responsibility, let the team play with one or two fewer players like it happens with REAL football.

No wonder that these Rugby/AFL players are generally more violent also off the field than soccer players are.

The World Cup ?

EEEEEEEEUUUUOOOOWWWWWWWWWW that NOISE drives me bonkers.

Continuous...monotone... on and on and on...and on....

and on...

Like this post :)

Celivia

That tackle on You Tube was all looks. The scuffle after was pushing and shoving. Nothing to get worried about. It was a terrific game though, did you watch?

Ever watched water polo or hockey? What about ice hockey?

Cornflower,
I only watched parts of the game because I was in-and-out all night. My husband really enjoyed watching that game as well as the world cup. It took him a couple of years to get to like the Australian football/rugby but now he loves it.

Yes I have watched some hockey and ice hockey in the past, and yeah that can be pretty rough, too.

I don't generally watch sports much, but like watching some sport during big events like the Olympics, winter Olympics, skating championships and the world cup.

You know, I haven't ever bothered to try to learn the rules or to seriously watch AFL or rugby, so I don't really know if I would like it if I got into it. All the good things I read in this thread about football get me inspired, lol! Perhaps I should just give it a go and watch a few games from start to end and get to know the rules a bit better. I wouldn't want to miss out on the fun if it's out there!

Do you play football yourself, CF and Opi?

Hi Celivia,

No I am too old for football of any type...although I used to play a bit of Aussie Rules when younger. I was a champion at every sport I played in my own mind...lol

I drink wine though...lol

I didn't watch the State of Origin...I was too busy and I very rarely watch a full game of Aussie Rules or any other game for that matter.

I don't particularly enjoy watching your brand of football really but I will probably take more interest as the field narrows down a bit.

Any sport that gets the kids off their backsides and exercising is a good thing.

I'm working on inventing a sport called "smiling whilst drowning"...Oops hangon it has already been invented...Synchronised Swimming...lol

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Soccer (football) but it is fun to laugh at, and joke about...

So even if it is only for the humour, the World Cup is a success.

One extra laugh a day, even if it is at the game we love the most, is very beneficial...lol

I hope everyone's team comes a draw...lol

Opi,
"Any sport that gets the kids off their backsides and exercising is a good thing."
Totally agree. Luckily, Australia is a very sporty country. Children have lots of opportunities to try out many different sports at schools. I would like to see sport made compulsory till the end of year 12, even if it's a couple of hours a week.

My apologies if this is too much off topic, but I have an urge to point out that this was ever so predictable:

"The World Cup provides a unique opportunity for people from all nations to come together, including those from countries with no missionary presence. "
http://mnnonline.org/article/14325

and

"Missionaries will be sharing the Gospel with hundreds of people at the Cup from all nations but will also use it as an opportunity to build the church in South Africa.
...Efforts will be made throughout the Cup to use this unusual amount of unification in the country as a possible avenue to plant churches in some of South Africa's major urban centers.
The Cup is also an opportunity to get people praying."

Hilarious that there is even a prayer on the Church of England's website for those who don't give a #*^& about the Wold Cup:
http://www.cofe.anglican.org/news/pr4810.html

"Lord, as all around are gripped with World Cup fever,

bless us with understanding,

strengthen us with patience and

grant us the gift of sympathy if needed.

Amen."

I have more sympathy for those who attend the event as happy atheists or non-religious football lovers and will end up being gripped with religious fever, which will last longer than the duration of the World Cup.

Great posts from Opinionated2 and Celivia - great to see you're getting into the spirit. I haven't been watching much of it yet, but it'll get more interesting as it progresses. Maybe they'll get sick of blowing the bloody vuvuzelas too...

Of course the godbotherers see it as a marketing opportunity - everybody else does :) Mind you, I love the prayer.

So what if some take their religion to the game. Some very obviously say prayers to Mecca as others make a furtive sign of the cross. Still more wear their lucky socks or undies.

We get as much pleasure from watching the university AFL matches as any sport, anywhere. It is at that level that one still sees the joy of being alive and having a jolly good competition and all can enjoy a steak and a beer together at the end of the game. The spectators cheer good play and effort from both sides and never presume to bask in the (transient) glory of the team or players.

Celivia & Opinionated2

Loving your posts.

Question if a devout Christian (or insert religion of choice) team plays another equally devout Christian (insert religion of choice) team, who wins? Is this why there are soooooo many draws? How does god decide on the penalty shoot-out?

At least when non-religious people play sport it is the better team that wins.

:P

I haven't watched any of it. But will pay more attention as teams are winnowed out.

I don't find the vuvuzelas too annoying - I can ignore them after a while. Perhaps it's my inner African . . . but I will admit that I dreamt of bees last night after watching Germany lose to Serbia and the USA draw with Slovenia. This is shaping up to be a very interesting World Cup - a lot of strange decisions from the referees, and a lot of champion teams failing to live up to expectations. What were the Germans doing, losing like that?

And if the Germans looked like amateurs against Serbia, and looked like professionals against Australia, what does that make us? The CWA Sunday Picnic Football Association? Are we really right to blame our coach, or are we just out of our league?

Severin, "I haven't watched any of it."

Then you are unaware that the only show of religious fervour was the Muslim goalie who prayed in his goal square.

Can anyone cite an example of player of other denominations praying on the field?

However the Australian team does need to pray for some urgent 'skilled' migration from Brazil, Spain, Portugal, Netherlands, Italy, Germany, England, Argentina and France. We could house any soccer playing refugees from those countries at the Australian Institute of Sport. Hold on, no-one would move to Canberra, better make that the new Institute of Sport to be built in a any of the mid western or coastal towns in Northern NSW.

The previous IAS in Bruce in Canberra is needed for an ever expanding bureaucracy and could be the home of desk shuttle cock, pocket billiards, follow the leader, conga lines, duck shoving, daisy rings, B&D and other diversions popularly played in Australia's capital. Just think, an international bureaucratic games some day and even slower with more appeals and dives than soccer!

Cornflower

Were you too preoccupied pulling wings off flies the day they handed out a sense of humour?

Have to admit, though, love the way you worked in an Islam snipe. Now if only you could turn your power of sniping to good instead of whatever it is you do.

Serverin,

True, I thought it was funny in an odd sort of way that you could comment on something you had not seen.

Apart from the Muslim fellow praying in his own goal mouth, have you managed to find any player doing anything that could be construed as religious observation? - Since you are convinced there were some of your hated 'Christians' somewhere about.

Time you put a night light under your bed to scare Christians away.

Dear oh dear, Cornflower.

Are you always miserable?

Heh, heh, said the needy C J, always desperate for some recognition in the form of a 'Hi ya CJ' or 'High fives'.

Er, Cornflower - I don't think it's me who's "needy" here. Everybody else is having a good time with this thread. It's only you who's being a sourpuss.

Otokonoko - I think the short answer is that we're out of our league. However, each World Cup we've been getting a little bit closer.

Let's see how we go tonight, eh?

Hehehe that's funny, Severin.
"Maradona Does Sign Of The Cross 8 Times Before Match"
and I saw a Serbian player doing the sign of the cross during the match yesterday.

Funny thing is that many, many players have their own little superstitious rituals.
If you do a Google search on that, you'll find that players:
have lucky shoe laces, have lucky shoes, rub the nose of their shoes with whisky, touch the grass on the field in a ritual manner, kiss the goalposts 3x, take off shoes and put them back on several times, have their lucky hook in the change room, bounce the ball against the wall 3x.... and now I'm getting really scared because the Japanese Coach called in the spirit of a death samurai.... helllppp, gonna watch the Dutch team right now, I hope the samurai won't be too mean to us!

Celivia

Those examples of superstition are choice. Thank you.

For lack of any other team to support, go the Oranje.

Cornflower

I know I was very, very naughty for suggesting that you pull wings off flies. I just wish you would lighten up. I, therefore, have sent myself to the naughty corner - until you write something stupid again. Not that I am suggesting you will write something whiny, and humourless, which means I will be in the naughty corner for a long time....(yeah, right) I guess this doesn't really count as an apology.

:P

Hi all!
I'm very pleased that Holland won again. The dead samurai didn't do too much damage, lol. Maybe that's because I wore my lucky orange bracelet to ward him off, heheh.

I'm also glad that Australia still hangs in there with one point. They still have a chance to advance IF they win against Serbia and if Ghana lose to Germany. Shame that they had to play with 10 players for the best part of the 2nd half.

Severin, I'm sure you won't have to remain in your naughty corner for very long, but just in case, bring lots of goodies and a laptop and TV!

Sorry Celivia, can't respond to your post because I am still in naughty corner - amazingly I did bring my PC with me. Ooops, I have responded after all.

I'm wearing orange today. Not that I don't care about the Socceroos.... well I don't really care. Dumb name for a team sort of like calling it the Footballeroos. Now I'll be accused of being unAustralian, sheesh, I'm just a very naughty girl.

Cheers

So, Patriots, was it a professional foul?
I say yes; Harry Kewell deserved the red card..

OMG Severin,

That comment was unAustralian, unSoccerooistical, unantidisestablishmentarianismistical, and every other un- word in the unEnglish undictionary, real or made up.

Deport her! Deport Her!

Didn't someone tell Kewl he wasn't playing Aussie rules when he attempted to mark the ball in the goal oblong?...lol

Of course if he was allowed to mark the ball. He could have sprinted down the field, bouncing the ball every 10-15 metres, baulking a few opponents, a couple of blind turns and then slam home the winner, through the big sticks (or oblong netty thingo) using either his preferred or non-preferred side.

But no he has to sit on the bench, contemplating what he will do with absolute frustration from the ridiculous send off, after having a ball kicked into his arm. I hope he didn't terrorise the local neighbourhoods.

Who would think of a game where you can head butt a ball, but you can't touch it with your hands>..Amazing!

OK so now I have another criticism of the round ball games...the REFEREES ARE TERRIBLE! Do they know the rules?

Maybe they are depressed because they can't outhonk the honkers, and the honkers have stolen the only reason for them to feel important...the sound of their pee in their whistles...lol

Fancy sending Kewl off for that! Come on that was pathetic! If decisions can be made like that, well I am further disappointed with the alleged bewdiful game. This isn't a game of skill...It's a game of chance!

The chance being the ref might accidentally make the right call...and with that the chance the best team might win...and with that the game might become a little more interesting. At least games might be decided on merit rather than the call of a ref.

OK a deep philosophical question for round baller fans.

If it is football and isn't soccer why are they called the socceroos, and why are soccer hooligans so named?...

As for that Netherlanderish team... they look like a series of orange stains running around a green field...weird!. Lucky to date.

Haven't all the draws been exciting... YAWN!

Squeers, the penalty was, in my opinion, justified but Harry Kewell shouldn't have been handed a red card. I couldn't see evidence in the slo-mo that the incident was intentional.
A penalty and a yellow card would've been sufficient.
Of course, a referee has to make a quick decision on the spot, and not everyone disagrees with his decision.

I think that Australia adapted brilliantly because with only 10 men they didn't lose the spirit of the game and they did an awesome job at defending.

Hey Celivia - my analysis exactly. The penalty should have been awarded because of the contact, within the penalty area, with Kewell's arm that deflected what would have been an almost certain goal. However, there's no way it was deliberate so he shouldn't have got a red card.

As you say though, we did well to hold Ghana to a 1-1 draw with only 10 players. Now we need Germany to beat Ghana (probable), and also for us to beat Serbia by 4 goals or something (far less probable).
Still, never say die until you're dead, eh :)

Squeers - why do you think Kewell deserved a red card when it clearly wasn't a deliberate hand-ball?

Opinionated2 - heretic! Wash your keyboard out with soap. I hope your version of Hell has a million vuvuzelas droning endlessly and loudly :P

It was with that red card that I came to realise that I'll never fully understand soccer. Penalty for sure, but it's not like he threw his arm out to stop the ball. Had he jumped a split second earlier, he would have travelled further right and the ball would have hit him square in the chest. I'd say the goal would have been stopped anyway. Hmm...

Celivia and CJ, Kewell is a pro soccer player with a sixth sense for the ball and reflexes to match. You say it "clearly wasn't a hand-ball", but to me it clearly was. Kewell of course did his best to look like the innocent bystander--the game is at least 50% acting after all--but it was a poor semblance of innocence for mine. Which is not to criticise him; it was the right theatrical move in the circumstances; he stopped a certain goal and the penalty might have missed.
I agree that Australia finished the game with true grit.
I think the Cahill red card was more unfair.
I could be wrong of course, but I wonder how much our objectivity is compromised by patriotic fervour.

Sorry CJ...now you know why I have never been called on to comment on the round ball game...lol

Someone earlier brought up praying for teams to win.

If I pray for my team, and God answers my prayer and I win, does that mean that my team, had an extra player, and God should be red carded for cheating?

Or if both I and my opponent pray does God answer my prayer by allowing me to win because I pay the biggest tithe?

And How can God afford to be away from helping (and thereby cheating)by allowing the American golfers win or the American Musicians to win Grammy awards.

I miss "I'd like to thank God (giggle), and my wife, and my agent and Go-od" in the speeches....lol

Although God did show his hand that time when Madonna...Oops Maradona, (tubby to his friends), accidentally cheated in front of a near blind referee...OMG I am an heretic...lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbbsytHDp2o

Wouldn't it have been more sporting if tubs had fessed up that he used his hand?

Who could criticise a game with such hand to ball co-ordination...lol

Is Soccer (football) really a sport, where sportsmanship is king, with all the acting and cheating that goes on? Hmmmm

I am glad you guys are all enjoying the spectacle.

As for hell...CJ...that is where the soccer fans go with their blind referees and funny round ball game...You'll be honked horrendously forhever...lol

Don't worry guys I'll be here to help you through those depressive moments after your teams are eliminated one by one....Ha!

Spoilsport :P

Opi, if you want to deport fractelle, you'd have to lure her out of her very comfy naughty corner first!

Hi squeers,
Did you deliberately leave out the word "deliberate" when quoting CJ? He said, "it clearly wasn't a deliberate hand-ball".
Both CJ and I haven't denied that it was a hand-ball, but only that it was not deliberate and therefore he should've got a yellow card, not a red one.

Anyway, I agree that Cahill should have had a yellow card instead of a red also.
He only clipped schweinsteiger via the momentum of the initial slide.
Even Schweinsteiger said that a red card was too harsh, or something.

But these are the refs decisions, made quickly and on the spot. It's all very easy for us to watch re-plays and slow-mo's in our armchairs and then criticise the decisions a ref made.

I obviously disagree with some of refs decisions, but most of the time I disagree only after I saw the replays and had a minute to make up my mind. Refs do not have that luxury and are pressured to make quick decisions.

Thanks Celivia. I'm actually enjoying the World Cup more as we go - controversies about undeserved red cards aren't exactly the sort of thing I normally care about, but it's quite fun to get all indignant about some BOOFHEADED IDIOT* referee's wrong call.

As you say, they're on the spot and have to make snap decisons. In this competition there's no video ref, nor right of appeal for a referee's decision. Which is pretty cool, really IMHO.

Kewell certainly shouldn't have been given a red card, but it's done and can't be undone. The ref's decision is final.

Mind you, the one match ban might have been waived...

Amen.

* Joke, Joyce

Celivia:
<Did you deliberately leave out the word "deliberate" when quoting CJ? He said, "it clearly wasn't a deliberate hand-ball".
Both CJ and I haven't denied that it was a hand-ball, but only that it was not deliberate and therefore he should've got a yellow card, not a red one.>

Sorry about the sloppy quote, folks. 'Twasn't deliberate. I usually cut and paste but this time transcribed.
I suspect it was deliberate, that is that he deliberately didn't get the arm out of the way; and why would he, standing on the goal line like that. At the very least, I'd have to contend that there is nothing definite about his innocence.
But yes, it all adds to the human drama--the manifest injustice of it all. The Refs are the Gods of the football field and the players "are merely the stars' [foot]balls, struck and banded which way please them".

Opi2, Celivia, CJM

I am enjoying the World Cup vicariously through this thread. Many laughs.

Go Orange stains, I mean Oranje.

I live in bushland and I think I just spotted the rare and shy socceroo, maybe I can coax him over with a round ball.... Nope, the round ball scared him off. Will try with oval ball - more of a challenge, but waving my Saints scarf seems to be helping. That's right little fellow, kick the ball between the goal posts. I predict a St Kilda premiership in 2010.

What was this thread about?

Teee-heee severin!
Maybe opi should take your pc away until you promise to behave in your naughty corner.

That's alright squeers, perhaps it wasn't that important after all that the word 'deliberate' was left out, because a handball, by definition, is ALWAYS a deliberate movement towards the ball. And because Kewell did not make a deliberate movement towards the ball, it shouldn't have been punished as if it were a handball.

Anyway, I agree with CJ when he said: "...quite fun to get all indignant about some BOOFHEADED IDIOT* referee's wrong call."
Hehehe you should hear us -'humble' orange stains on armchairs- bagging everyone who dares making a wrong move and yes especially the referees from our lazy armchairs is very entertaining.

Hehe but that's just for entertainment's sake, and a satisfying outlet for frustrations.

Now, how do we jinx Serbia

This World Cup thread is intriguing.

Cornflower brought up how soccer players go down and take a dive seemingly too often, Severin spends the entire competition in her "naughty" corner and Celivia posted information regarding people who find themselves religiously in the missionary position during the cup....Am I missing something?...lol

The Orange stains are doing quite well. As many athletes gain from training at altitude is their advantage that soccer players gain from training below sea level...lol

Lovely to see people give Australia credit for fighting for a noble draw against Ghana. Once again Australia has been robbed of any chance of victory but as soccer fans can switch from high expectations to such low ones, soccer still won on the day.

Now my family have been in Australia since 1855 so I guess I could call myself Aussie, but I am a mongrel half Sco-ish/half German Breed.

Now all the Sco-ish lads and lassies have told me Sco-land are rubbish at football (soccer), (probably because playing in dresses is rather breezy) but my German side are rather talented apparently.

So at some stage, (if Australia regretfully doesn't make it), I have a fall back position which may have me celebrating the end of the World Cup in pretend pride at how well my pretend team did.

My celebrations truly will be for the end of the World Cup...lol

I have picked up all this pretending from the pretend injuries I have had to endure.

OMG the medical staff even pretend to treat the pretend injuries as part of the Facade!

Are these pretend medicos with pretend medical qualifications also, or do they have backup real medicos in the unlikely case that someone actually may get injured?

"Hello, I was a pretend Dr for the pretend injuries suffered by the Italian Thespian team"

I'm surprised that they don't send out a hairdresser after someone heads the ball...lol

Severin supporting St Kilda is quite instructive...she knows nothing about sport...lol

South Africa have done well. Maybe at the end of all this I too will be saying "Thank God for the Hooters"

Condolences CJ and co. I imagine you've all dried your eyes by now.
The link below is to some scribbling on football by a very famous philosopher, from who's figurative cup I've sometimes drunk.
http://www.apexart.org/exhibitions/critchley.htm

Thanks Squeers - great little article :)

I'm not too devastated by the Socceroos' performance. They acquitted themselves respectably in the end. I didn't really expect much more from them, and now we can enjoy the rest of the series without the distraction of nationalistic fervour... well, at least of the Australian kind.

Mind you, didn't the Kiwis do well? Not to mention the Netherlands, who won their group convincingly - congrats to Celivia!

Opi2

>> Severin supporting St Kilda is quite instructive...she knows nothing about sport...lol >>

Hmmmm and you barrack for.... the Collywobbles? LOL No fair making comments when I don't know who you follow.

Commiserations to the Footballeroos - probably too many atheists on team.

Tried watching, someone was wounded when a fly landed on his nose, gave up.

I suppose I should do the "Australian" thing and support the Allwhites, LOL!

Go Oranje!

Oh Severin...you are almost psychic...lol

I grew up barracking for Collingwood, but also supported all clubs with a magpie as their motif, like Port Adelaide.

Can't stand Mick Malthouse or Nathan Buckley so my love for Collingwood waned considerably. Shock horror, I sometimes am pleased that the opposition beat Collingwood. I have even found myself barracking against them.

Having changed states 3 times I then supported Sydney when in NSW and Brisbane when in Queensland. I am thrilled that teams from all States have now won premierships.

I was thrilled when West Coast Eagles won the premiership the first time as it meant that AFL was truly becoming a National Competition. Even though the Melbournites were crushed it was the best thing for the game.

Was most disappointed for St Kilda's sake last year.

So I guess you could say that I love the game. I think it is the best football in the world.

But back to the world cup....How come you soccerballheads haven't commented on the fact that the medical staff pretend to treat pretend injuries?

Surely CJ, Celivia you've noticed that?

I too was sorry to see the footballeroos be eliminated.

What qualifications do you need to be a Soccer referee...Poor eyesight and an ineptitude to know the difference between acting and actual fouls?

Surely when the refs look back at some of their decisions they are embarrassed and ashamed OR are they impervious to their own mistakes?

Have another whingey/moany Italian when he pretended to be tripped/injured by the Aussie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr2oTmQ0GwM

That is burnt into my consciousness as the most pathetic thing I have seen in sport.

Sorry guys...soccer is a joke...and until you supporters demand the sport stop these poor attempts at thesbianism and demand referees actually apply the rules...It remains laughable!

If I hear the SBS crew use the term bewdiful game one more time I may have to use a bucket!

Now being part German...Can I just say...I hate that National Anthem as much as I hate the Aussie national anthem and so I am back to barracking for nobody...lol

Opi2

Har har har! St Kilda tends to be a favoured team of everyone except Collingwood supporters. And eveyone one else hates Collingwood - yup, I'm Victorian born and bred. Although I am happy about the game going national, I remain parochial in my allegiance. Although if Tassie had their own team in the national league.... now I'd like to see that.

We do not mention last years' Grand Final. At least it was Geelong and not a very undeserved Hawthorn.

I too have tried watching other codes, but once you get Aussie Rules there is no going back. While I lived in the USA, I followed basketball, as American Football was even more boring than cricket. As with Rugby I have zero tolerance for a game where the player tucks a ball under his arm runs like hell from one end of the stadium to the other, body rolls over a white line and calls that a goal! WTF? And don't get me started on all the stop-starting. I am told it is a game of strategy - well they have to have some excuse. Although I can think of better words than 'strategic'.

Gee, even a good game of lawn bowls is more interesting than soccer.

It could be worse though: Imagine if Thugby League was "The World Game". Now that would be a fate worse than death!

Ah thank you CJ.
Oranje might be out next, anything can happen but it will all depend on whether or not I wear my orange bracelet and touch each bead on it mindfully 3x while holding my breath during the anthem.

"They acquitted themselves respectably in the end." I much agree! I would've liked the socceroos to play a bit further into the competition, but well... there can only be one winner. Such a cliché thing to say, but true.

Severin, NOW I wish that there was an orange soccerball bead.

Opi,
"How come you soccerballheads haven't commented on the fact that the medical staff pretend to treat pretend injuries?
Surely CJ, Celivia you've noticed that?"

Bewdiful question! To answer it:
Not really, no, had no idea that this was even a fact. But if you say so it must be true.
Perhaps they would get better injuries and qualify for non-pretending medical staff by wearing Michelin man costumes like AFL players do.

Celivia, "Perhaps they would get better injuries and qualify for non-pretending medical staff by wearing Michelin man costumes like AFL players do."

That statement is an own goal.

Am now officially 'out' of naughty corner. CF has posted something completely incomprehensible - although I admit it was in response to a comment by Celivia which makes me think that she has been watching American Football League and not Aussie Rules.

Cornflower

Here is your chance to pretend you have posted something really profound and attempt to look superior. Good Luck.

Celivia

Australian Football players don't wear any padding/protection apart from a nut-cup or the occasional condom. Is that what you meant by the Michelin man comment?

Am looking forward to hearing from you both.

;D

Severin,
welcome back to the world outside the naughty corner!
Oh too funny re the nutcup.
OK I promise to stop confusing Rugby, American football, Aussie Rules etc. It's all ratatouille to me atm.
BTW thanks for explaining in a previous post why you don't like American football.

I definitely will start paying more attention to the Footy.
I'll be stuck with the Swans here and have heard they are pretty hopeless, lol.
Perhaps when the World Cup is over I'll start creating a magic bracelet to support them and then they may stretch out their wings and fly high! :+)

Celivia

Thank you for your good humour. If you lived in Victoria I would be able to take you to an Aussie Rules game like last night's game between my beloved Saints and the Cats (Geelong). The Saints massacred Geelong, establishing their credentials to all the naysayers (this means you Opi2) It was a tough, albeit brutal game - but never ever boring. Then to watch two top teams slog it out and the underdog wins.... I am just too full of wondrous happiness....

Now, will Cornflower respond with humour or snideness?

OMG...I think I have to apologise to Celivia and the other soccerball heads, because, I can't find a You Tube video of the Medicos treating a fake injury....lol

From the deepest recesses of my heart I apologise profusely.

To all those medicos that I put in the same faking section as the Soccer Thesbians... I apologise!

Here is a prediction... Keep watching and I will be proven right...and it may well be the orange stains that prove me right...but until that glorious moment, I remain humbly wrong.

How's that ladies a male who admits one error in his life...lol

Also Celivia I congratulate you on your intellect in at least paying more attention to Aussie Rules football. I think you will be pleasantly surprised once you study it a bit.

OI Severin...I was barracking for St Kilda in that final where they dismally lost to Geelong, crushing their already severely loss weary fans just that little more. Breaking their hearts once again, rubbing salt into their already inflamed, aching wounds.

I remember the Stephen Milne smarty pants kick, running into an open goal, when, it painfully failed to make the distance, and I wince at some of the easy misses your team made.

I remember the tear-filled Rewolt blubbering like a big sook and those famous words "remember this feeling"!

My heart ached for you guys. I was crest fallen, shattered - betrayed.

OK no I didn't have any of those feelings, but I hope you enjoyed thinking that I did...lol

Having barracked for Collingwood and living through their myriad of finals losses I do understood your pain though.

Your loss was my loss on that day....lol

Oh and that's right we aren't supposed to mention the Grand Final...SORRY!

But back to the World Cup...

Fantastic NEWS! The ITALIAN THESBIAN team have been eliminated... Hooray there is a Soccer God. Karma has struck them right where it hurts most...

Now is this Italian football at it's best...lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iufnlu5842w

Apparently the whole team faked falling down on the bus and are now claiming fake compensation for their fake accident...lol

Oh and just into this roving correspondences office.

An alleged sneak look behind the scenes of the Italian team training....lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHYVT59zYgM&feature=related

Oh and here they scored

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eBWYx0d2ow&feature=related

Anyone would think that scoring was a new part of the game invented by Italy

The Italians are actually good players...just terrible actors...lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_U9mSqCe88

A Football (SOCCER)...It's a bewdiful game...lol

Opinionated2

That was then, did you miss last night's game?

Geelong was SOUNDLY defeated, not limply, not luckily but comprehensively beaten by the almighty Saints. BTW I take happiness when and where I can. As an ex-Magpies supporter you should understand that. And you have made a wise decision remaining an ex.

;)

I am glad that Celivia made her Michelin comment, because now we know she has been watching the wrong game(s). I see a convert in the future...

Now, now, benq and Opinionated2 - there's no need to be so mean. I might have to take a textual dive and 'win' a penalty against you...

Fortunately, we have fair-minded correspondents like Celivia and Severin barracking for the retention of fun in sporting entertainment. At least most of us seem to agree that the thugby codes represent the nadir of football (and I'm not going anywhere near that American nonsense).

<< Now, will Cornflower respond with humour or snideness? >>

She'd have to grow a sense of humour in order for that to be a meaningful question ;)

Am away from home for the next week or so, so my participation here will be sporadic.

World Cup? ? ?

What World Cup?

St Kilda beat their nemesis, Geelong - that is world news.

"Oh when the Saints, go marching in,
Oh when the Saints go marching in,
Oh how I want to be with St Kilda.
When the Saints go marching in!"

And repeat ad nauseam.

Sorry CJ,

I hope everyone knows I have been joking on this thread...except for the bits where I am criticising soccer...lol

Even the most ardent, socceraholic, must, look at those You Tube videos that I have posted and shake their heads, in utter disbelief.

Surely, this stuff is so laughable, it is ruining the game these people (the players) supposedly love.

TY for correcting me on the spelling of "correspondents" - I really can spell it's just that sometimes I can't...lol

I think they should have soccer at the Olympics...Oh hang NO they already have a diving competition...lol

Severin,

I didn't watch the game last night as I never want to allow those brutes at St Kilda to crush me again, like they did in last year's grand final. I cheered my little heart out for those football misfits last year...never again...lol

So the Saints beat Geelong in a home and away game...the ultimate consolation prize...lol

Oh when the Saints
Learn to play the game
Oh when the Saints Learn to play our game
Oh I'd love to be in that stadium
Just to see-ee history made

boom-boom

I don't charge much for Anthem writing...lol

Opinionated2

>> I don't charge much for Anthem writing...lol >>

You are very wise.

Boom boom

Opinionated2 - you are so cruel that I'm "severin" our nascent friendship.

And football's already an Olympic sport in its own right, separate to diving. So there :P

I've heard that there's no room for AFL at the Olympics, owing to the fact that ping pong is already represented - besides which, nobody outside Australia's heard of it.

Nernernernerner.

Ptweeet, penalty! Round ball players have now added yet another excuse for a penalty - it is the ball's fault ref!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8743207.stm

But of course that miss from the wild flailing boot from forty metres out would have to be the ball's fault. No wonder round ball players always look so astonished and put out when they miss by the width of a cricket pitch. To think that the uninitiated might have put those shocked 'I was done out of a goal' frowns down to the theatrics of the game.

Ptweeeeet, penalty, show that ball a yellow card.

:-(

Snide

CF

http://www.ehow.com/how_4715117_develop-sense-humor.html

Severin,

Dear, there is no sense in sitting there with you puss as long as a Lurgan spade because the truth is out and no less a player than Emile Heskey disagrees with you. It was the ball's fault and that is that. Emile added that anyway, the goalie had been 'lucky' to stop his ball. Hey, that is proof in anyone's language.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/worldcup2010/article-1286318/Emile-Heskey-blames-Jabulani-ball-horror-miss-USA.html

Plainly any ball that goes in is skill, whereas misses are errant balls that are obviously poorly designed. It must be one of those shape-shifting Zymel balls, alienus shapus changeri. CJ has boasted (not in itself unusual for CJ) that he was rather good at it, make that "quite" good at it and it is surprising he didn't pick it.

CF

You didn't check my link did you?

Very Clever CJ... now go and have a lie down...lol

Also very clever Severin... I just can't come up with a witty retort to that masterpiece....lol

This thread has been very cathartic.

I have managed to unload all my round ball frustrations onto you guys and now I can face life again....lol

Thankyou all for at least listening.

Also a special thanks to Italy for failing so miserably, in this years world cup.

I can only sum up by saying "The roundball game is rubbish" TY.

Opi2

Its been a hoot. Total respect.

I guess the win by the Maggies last night went down rather well too.

Saints V Magpies Grand Final?

Severin: << Saints V Magpies Grand Final? >>

Is that in ping pong?

Nernernernerner :P

Cornflower - good try, but you still haven't achieved 'funny' yet on this thread. B+ for effort though.

Opinionated2 - yes, it's a hoot. To be honest, it's on much the same order as the Eurovison song contest to me, the major difference being that I can't sing to save myself.

I'm also very pleased to have facilitated the relief of your "ball frustrations" :)

Back to the ostensible subject of the thread - now with Wimbledon on, I find that my somewhat limited sporting attention span is approaching something of a double bind. I find myself reading crime fiction, although I'm on holiday.

Where will it end? Bring on the Finals.

YAY, this should be very interesting: Germany vs UK tonight. Olé!
I will watch the repeat though or tape it because pfffff I'm getting so tired from watching all these late games.
This is the best-ever time to be taking a holiday because of all these late matches; you have it made, CJ!

Cornflower, there will always be sports people who blame equipment- no need to go bouncing mad over it, otherwise you'll out-do the ball, lol.

In the meantime, I'm forcing myself to learn the Sydney Swans club song; just in case they ever, in my lifetime, will win a game.

After Severin's "Marching Saints" singing spree I got inspired :)

It's a very cheerful song. Red and white are great colours, too, for a bracelet.

The song has a most impressive start:
"Cheer, cheer, the red and the white..."
I will, I will!
That's so easy to do especially now that most wines come with a screw top.

And then, they don't just ONLY march like the Saints do... oh no; they also lift a banner high, and shake the thunder from the sky.

That sounds exhausting after all that red and white wine, I hope they will have some energy left to play a game of football, let alone win.

Oh after the world cup I will re-spray your now orange head red, Cornflower, and your stalk white, lol.
And if they keep losing I will turn you to potpourri.

Will drop by occasionally to take a breather!
Thank you all again for so much entertainment!

CJ

Ping-Pong? Oh, forgot you are from the deep North, one must be considerate of Queenslanders, I understand it is to do with the humidity.

And enjoy your holiday, you lucky bugger. Its freezing down here - cold enough to freeze a corn off its flower.

Celivia

Given your Nordic background, I would expect nothing less than a desire to "shake thunder from the sky". However, one has to be able to kick an oval ball, I'm sure you will get the hang of it.

Cheers to all and may the best team win.

That's St Kilda of course.

OMG I thought I'd finished with this thread due to my utter disdain for the round ball game, BUT, did you see the news after England lost.

Obviously, to everyone except linesman and referees England scored a second goal. They probably still wouldn't have won but take a look at this article.

http://g.sports.yahoo.com/soccer/world-cup/news/german-keeper-feels-he-fooled-the-referee--fbintl_ro-germankeepr062710.html

And the criticisms roll in

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/worldcup2010/3033617/Alan-Shearer-gives-his-damning-verdict-on-Englands-World-Cup-flops.html

And more on the Ref

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1289962/World-Cup-2010-England-crushed-4-1-Germany.html

But wait....The team didn't just lose a silly game of football...

They...Let down their country - Off with their heads!

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3032310/Humiliated-England-blasted-after-Germany-beat-them-in-World-Cup.html

CJ I am so impressed with this game....I'm exhausted from the enjoyment...lol

I've decided to start barracking for St Kilda... I have a skill at picking losers...lol

Carn the Saints!

Heya Opi!
Yes there have been some appalling decisions made, haven't there? I feel for England. It would've been a whole different game if the goal had counted.

I read somewhere that Guus Hiddink (former coach of the Socceroos and also of South Korea) was angry about some of the decisions and is telling the FIFA chief (forgot his name) to resign if he doesn't want to make changes and bring in video technology.

I think he's right.
I used to be against using video technology, but now I'm not so sure. If the referees were so great that they saw all goals happening, then there would be no need. I used to think that it would 'kill the game' if everytime there is a difference of opinion, they'd have to wait for the video to be replayed. Now I don't know what is worse: having to stop the game or having to deal with wrong decisions.

Does it kill the game in football, do you think? I haven't heard people say that, so maybe it's a good idea to introduce it in soccer, too.

It just really sucks that players are getting red cards and the whole world sees a goal happen except the referee.

Anyway, that was my little rant.
I'm so pleased that Holland won against Slovakia. I stayed up to watch it life.
Great that they won so far but OMG they will need a miracle to win from Korea.
The Koreans play sooo well, they are so skilled with the ball, and so quick, too.
It'll be too scary to watch, will need an orange eye mask!

I hope that my orange bracelet, earrings, flags and cornflowers will be magic enough!

Hi Celivia,

Wow, your Orange Stains sure are leaving their mark on the tournament...lol

Get it Stain - Mark, OMG I am such a funny one...ho, ho, ho...lol

OK I'm back on my medications again...lol I'm relaxed.

We'll see if they run out of juice when they come up against some real teams...lol

But congratulations they are doing really well so far.

So let's sum up on this game of soccer so far.

1. The players pretend injuries.
2. The refs don't appear to know the rules.
3. The game is full of cheats.
4. Too many draws.
5. Pathetically Low Scores or worse often NO scores.
6. Even when they score the refs can't see it.
7. These allegedly adult men celebrate a score by running around with their shirts over their heads, or lying on the ground with everyone kissing and cuddling them.
8. The game is too easy to cheat at.
9. The players are whooses.
10. The fans don't understand a real man's game like AFL.
11. The fans can lower their already low expectations easily.
12. There's something wrong with the balls apparently.
13. The players head butt the ball and that's legal
14. They are scared of technology just in case it causes a correct decision.
15. Oh and of course the players fall over a lot for no apparent reason...Is this cheating?

This is a marketing bonanza...lol The WORLD GAME - THE BEAUTIFUL GAME!...lol

Even the St Kilda football club and the Sydney Swans are better than that...lol Aren't they Severin?...lol

Is Germany still in it? How could the ref miss that English goal?

Will he get to ref another game?

Yep I love soccer...lo

Opinionated2: << Yep I love soccer...lo >>

Well it's obviously got your attention. Beats basket-weaving, I guess :)

Oh I don't know CJ...I think basket weaving and soccer are on a par.

When I weave baskets I sometimes fall to the floor pretending another basket weaver had hit me and beg for a penalty...lol

OK a prediction I made came true. The medicos in soccer treat fake injuries.

In the Spain vs Portugal game a player was sent off for elbowing when the elbow never even connected. BUT WORSE the player moaned like a whoose and the medical staff came out and treated his pretend injury.

This is ridiculous! I've become psychic and they still can't act...lol

CJ... Please don't think I watch the games, I am force fed (like a French Pate Duck) the information during regular news services.

How much longer does this yawn fest go?

Oh OH And now this

http://www.smh.com.au/sport/soccer/english-world-cup-bid-chief-resigns-20100517-v6yi.html

and even we might be in trouble

http://www.smh.com.au/world-cup-2010/world-cup-news/tortuous-trail-of-our-world-cup-bid-20100630-zmtn.html

I can't believe that corruption exists in Soccer...lol

Yep Soccer is a sunny sport...lol

Opi, lol, you spend so much time talking about it; are you sure that you never watch a game of soccer?

I think you just secretly love it and watch it when no one is watching you in the middle of the night!

You have fallen through the basket you weaved!

Hi Celivia,

Nope I haven't watched one game....but you lot are fun, so, I thought I'd keep protesting...lol

I've watched a few highlights OR were they lowlights?...lol

I might have to end up barracking for the Orange Stains but do they wear wooden football boots (Football Cloggers), or are they allowed to wear leather...lol

I'm imagining myself in Holland, I look up to see the sky, and I exclaim...OMG there goes a ship!....lol

Hope your team does brilliantly!

Bye for now...lol

Opi2

No fun, if you're going to barrack for the Saints - even in a highly ironic fashion.

Why not go back to supporting the Magpies - so much better when they don't make to the Grand Final, although am tipping they'll make to the finals, but that's all folks.

Celivia

Have soft spot for Ghana - they're like the underdogs in this series - the last remaining African team.

Boo Hiss to Brazil and that's just for the wax-job, Oh Yeah, topic: kicking round ball with head - boo hiss even though, they (Brazilians) do that very well too and with no embarrassing body-hair.

Go Oranje people - I have tight orange jumper, good time of year to be wearing it.

This IS meant to be 'stream of consciousness' thread, isn't it?

Severin,

I thought you would realise I still have some semblance of taste...OMG I could never barrack for the Moorabbin Misfits....lol

I'm wearing my tight orange jeans...They aren't tight to hug my exquisitely carved, bike riders backside...They are tight because I have short arms and they have deep pockets... so I can't reach my money to spend it...lol

Is the World Cup rigged? lol

I love Nil all draws...there's something deep and intellectual about a game where two teams can allegedly go at it and neither of them end up scoring.

Soccer must be deep on an intellectual level, cause failure to score is hardly an achievement...I can do that sitting at my computer....lol

So now I can add to my list

1. The players pretend injuries.
2. The refs don't appear to know the rules.
3. The game is full of cheats.
4. Too many draws.
5. Pathetically Low Scores or worse often NO scores.
6. Even when they score the refs can't see it.
7. These allegedly adult men celebrate a score by running around with their shirts over their heads, or lying on the ground with everyone kissing and cuddling them.
8. The game is too easy to cheat at.
9. The players are whooses.
10. The fans don't understand a real man's game like AFL.
11. The fans can lower their already low expectations easily.
12. There's something wrong with the balls apparently.
13. The players head butt the ball and that's legal
14. They are scared of technology just in case it causes a correct decision.
15. Oh and of course the players fall over a lot for no apparent reason...Is this cheating?
16. Players are said to have let down their nation if they lose.
17. The medical staff treat pretend injuries obviously with pretend treatments.

This game just gets better and better...lol

Your travelling correspondent .... Opi 2.

Opi2

I did make the mistake of thinking you a man of taste and intellect, snorkle, snorkle, snicker. Nah only joshin' with ya.

And now I know you have oddly short arms in proportion to your oddly distant buttocks. Too much info. Whereas, I have a tight sweater simply because it looks great on me and it is orange - for my friend in NSW, Celivia.

Do, Opi2, continue adding to your list of disrespect to the round foot & head ball. However, many of your issues would become non if the goal posts were simply widened.

PS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uUPY5EZwMU&NR=1

Opinionated 2

You forgot:

An offside rule that allows players to be offside and results in offside rulings that are poorly comprehended by professional players and never by the punters.

The overuse of stretchers, raced onto the pitch for 'seriously' injured players who miraculously get up to play after they have had a bit of a rest.

There would be a Histrionics Cup, except that Italy would always win with the Poms coming in second. Hold on, what about Portugal and Argentina, then there is... Maybe there should be a play-off after all, but no ball is needed, the best don't need ball to flop and squirm like they've been shot.

Score draws should be decided by points given for the strip of the scorer and number of his mates accommodated in the resultant horizontal group hug. Obviously the source of C J's (cough, cough, ahem) homoerotic sensitivity that he projects onto others.

Passing the ball back and forth to the goalie to let the clock run out.

Great stuff, Opi2 and Severin. Anybody who takes any kind of football too seriously deserves a serious lampooning :)

I see that Cornflower still hasn't grown a sense of humour. Now that she's raised it, I wonder why we've never heard a report about real football players standing around masturbating together while watching a team mate abuse a woman, or sticking their fingers up other players' rectums while making a tackle?

That is some humour, albeit ill-humour you have there CJ.

You need to lighten up, it is only a game.

Here you are, it only took a split second for Google to find a current scandal involving soccer players and a teenage girl. The under-age bit is not so nice.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/7615113/Franck-Ribery-football-scandal-prostitute-breaks-her-silence.html

Yeah, a barrel of laughs Cornflower. What a poisonous old sourpuss you are.

My own fault for responding in kind to your gratuitous remark about homoeroticism, I guess.

Haven't you got a scrum to watch?

Now, now you two...I'll give you both a red card...lol

If you two are having a pretend fight about a pretend game...I'll bring a pretend stretcher with me just in case a pretend injury occurs...lol I even have a pretend first aid kit...lol

CJ... It was only one player that I heard of whose digit caused him to go to the dark side...lmao

OMG Hoppa nearly lost a finger...lol

I'm also not thrilled with Rugby League, and all codes have had their fair share of scoundrels so I wouldn't lay that at any one codes door.

I can't stand Rugby Union...seems like a rolling brawl rather than a rolling maul (or however you spell it).

And any game that causes players to have cauliflower ears has to be questioned...lol The way some of their ears are chewed up they could be called broccoli ears...lol

Now of coarse Australia can support all codes, but I do think that Aussie Rules, being our own game, should be the one we support most.

Call me a patriotic fool...lol

OMG Severin... I actually went to that You Tube video...I hope the Government adds that to it's blacklist...lol

It is lovely to see that you are supportive of your friend and that you will be there for Celivia when the good teams dejuice how to defeat the orange stains...lol

This is your roving correspondent...signing off...

"Haven't you got a scrum to watch?"
Too funny! Must remember that one!

Hehehehe Opi, are there any red cards left then? I thought they'd all been given out already to people like Kewell. None left for Holland either, lol.

Very kind of Severin to support the orange stains! I think I will life support if the orange stains lose! Twenty minutes to go- time to pour some wine!
If they win, it's a double celebration- my birthday starts at midnight!
Cheers, here's a drink on the house... orange juice of course!

No scrums in AFL. Goodness, now even CJ knows!

Apologies to all; I'm a sports dunce so I can't add anything to the discussion.

Just wanted to say though that the Utubes of the theatrics were hilarious. Funniest carry on I've watched in ages. Almost enough to make me an interested spectator on a regular basis.

Here's one in return:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7aHuMqVu5M&feature=fvw

Hilarious, the Chaser really got into the spirit of the round ball game.

However The Chaser team does have stiff competition for acting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ioyt2zzm530&NR=1

AFL may not have the scrum, but they do have those secret shower room rituals ;)

Go Oranje!

>> I can't stand Rugby Union...seems like a rolling brawl rather than a rolling maul (or however you spell it). <<

Agree. Just bad.

And, furthermore, Opi2, you clicked on my Youtube link - har, har, har, such a rousing little ditty.

Pynchme

Love anything Chaser - hilarious.

All

Bad Luck about Ghana, whereas the Oranje came from behind (teehee) and defeated Brazil.

Have to wash orange sweater, however have a pair of orange woolly socks.

Onward Oranje!

Those vids are hilarious, Pynchme and Cornflower! I too, am a big fan of the Chaser.

So excited that Oranje won, thanks to opi's tight orange pants, Severin's orange jumper (and socks, my cat's orange bow (awwww she looked so cute!) and of course my orange bracelet, hairband, flags, orange cornflowers, CJ's good luck wishes, and CF's humour etc!

Orange balloons will be dangling from my letterbox today... just to rub it in our neighbour's face, hehehehe. He's from Germany and told my husband yesterday that "Holland is going to lose badly".
I tell my husband not to mention the war (ala that John Cleese episode, lol!).

Well, yesterday I thought they would lose against Brazil too- they lost twice from Brazil in the past.

Not forgetting the Clockwork Orange theme playing during the game:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1C_syZkMj4&feature=fvw

C J Morgan,
If C J Morgan says there is something happening in shower rooms of course there must be. Your nose for homoeroticism is legendary on OLO and you were as you say 'quite good' at soccer, which should count for something.

Cornflower

Well maybe YOU would play the soundtrack to A Clockwork Orange while watching team sports....

I prefer "The Flaming Lips" song - just fun not at all creepy:

"I know who a girl who
reminds me of Cher
she's always changing
the color of her hair
she don't use nothing
that you buy at the store
she likes her hair to
be real orange

she uses tangerines
tangerines"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfpyoGFJNNE

I watched the Holland/Brazil game last night . . . . for two minutes. The constant din from those horns was so annoying that I'm surprised I lasted two minutes. Besides, I can't think of anything more boring than looking at soccer of all things. So I went and did something more interesting; had a sleep!

Severin,

'Clockwork Orange' is a popular nickname for the team, hence the music. The wry humour of their supporters is entirely lost on you.

Someone posted this earlier without first reading it:

http://www.ehow.com/how_4715117_develop-sense-humor.html

Corny: << Your nose for homoeroticism is legendary on OLO and you were as you say 'quite good' at soccer, >>

Er, it was you who raised homoeroticism in this thread, wasn't it? And unlike you, at least I've both played football and have a sense of humour.

You really are quite sad.

Benq, be grateful that the vuvuzelas were overpowering the sound of singing fans. I mean... would you rather listen to this?

http://tinyurl.com/34ewqcy

Lol.

Cornflower,
Don't forget that I sprayed your head orange at the beginning of this thread. No need to feel blue!
Join the party and have fun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evYQmyjelf8&feature=related

CLASSIC....

CJ says:

//My team mates were mostly Poms and Scots, and we played against Italians, Yugoslavs and Greeks. In retrospect, it's probably one of the reasons why I've always been receptive to multiculturalism.//

But the surreal thing about this statement is that rather than showing something good...it actually highlights the underlying 'racist' nature of the recent migrant teams. They did not form along 'citizen' lines..but on ethnic. The "Poms and Scots" have managed to separate themselves from their historic animosity and mutual cruelty.. unlike the other teams CJ mentions.

Why is it that the Italians,Yugoslavs and Greeks etc form 'racial' teams ? hmmmmmm

We might ponder this for eternity, but the idea that "people prefer those of their own kind..racially and culturally" seems to have completely escaped our resident denialist CJ.

If one were bold enough to suggest that these groups who form 'competitive teams' along racial lines... would possibly also... just maybe.. ALSO form 'community' teams who compete as ethnic/racial/cultural groups against non them....woooo..now that would be to live dangerously wouldn't it ?

After all CJ and his Minions (of 2 or 3) .. his mentor 'Jabba the Pericles' would quickly pull out the lofty language of political puritanism and plaster the thread with platitudes of pious pedantic political correctness... which have the only effect of confirming our long held suspicions that this little gang is quite disconnected from the real world.

But.. my only gripe about the World Cup is that it means I am exiled to "the office" while my soccer mad sons indulge their fantasies in watching it.

Go and peddle your racist claptrap somewhere else, Bozo. If you hadn't noticed, except for one sourpuss this is a light-hearted thread about the World Cup.

Speaking of which, given Germany's 4-0 rout of Argentina last night, we shouldn't feel too bad about the Socceroos' loss in their first game against them, eh?

Cornflower

I admit I did not know that the 'Clockwork Orange' reference for the Dutch team. I don't actually follow Soccer, remember?

Your YouTube clip following on immediately after your "homo-eroticism" snipe at CJ Morgan, gave me the impression that you were equating the film's story-line with homo-eroticism of male sports.

That the phrase 'a clockwork orange' is meant to convey the precision of a sports team - makes sense. However, showing a series of clips from the movie of the same name makes no sense - unless you were trying to bring in the idea of homo-eroticism.

Further, as you are not known for displays of humour or wit (loving the reference by Celivia regarding orange dyed cornflowers), hence my visceral response to you.

Sheesh, I must be off my game, rarely to I give so much of my precious time to posters who are so utterly devoid of simple joie de vivre.

How did we get from the World Cup to a debate on who introduced homo-eroticism and racist themes to the thread?...lol

OMG!

But back to the football... Wasn't it sad that Ghana was eliminated from the competition and especially the way that it occurred.

So now I have another criticism of soccer.

There was an obvious cheating, by using the hands to stop the goal. For that sin, the player got sent off (and rightly so), and the Ghana player got a penalty which he failed to convert.

Now CJ...even Rugby League and I think Rugby Union have a better solution than that.

When an obvious cheating event occurs that stops a try in those games...the team is awarded a penalty try.

So in soccer, as proven, it pays to cheat. Come on this is laughable!

Ghana should have just been awarded the goal. But not our beloved soccer that would be too sensible....lol

Wow now more than one person is joining the attack on CJ when this was supposed to just be a fun topic about football.

And CJ is absolutely correct this isn't the thread for some of this discussion... I enjoyed the term Bozo CJ...lol

So perhaps we could get back to the topic and celebrate this most farcical event...lol

And yes CJ the Aussies did quite admirably against Germany with the way Germany are playing.

Did I mention I am half German... Carn the Germs....lmao

Oh when the Saints
Begin to win
Oh when the Saints begin to win
It will lead to a depressive September
When their loss causes crying to begin.

Hey Opi2

I do hope you have kept your day job on the strength of your latest lyrics.

I do agree that this was meant to be a fun topic. Some people on OLO are know to stalk others around the various threads in order to cast aspersions. Like the apparent hard-on CF has for CJ.

Go Oranje! May your teamwork be like clockwork. However, winning would be better.

Severin,

Heh, heh, fortunately no-one could ever accuse you of personal attacks or casting the odd bouquet of Nasturtiums around, perish the thought!

You might be CJ's Number One fan, but even you would have to accept that CJ is in denial about the shirts off, horizontal hugs that are just a normal part - la routine habituelle - of the round ball game.

That was mentioned innocently enough as one of the many well-publicised eccentricities of the game, especially the English style of soccer - the source of CJ's vaunted experience of the game.

Just as well you have his back I suppose, but it isn't really necessary, CJ is just being a mite sensitive and defensive as some boys can be about his former sporting glory. It is his ego one supposes.

Puzzle is, you keep admonishing others to have a sense of humour but you don't heed your own advice. Here you go, let a smile crack that puss:

Q: What's the difference between a striker and a puppy?
A: A puppy will eventually stop whining.

Q: What does a Netherlands fan do when her team has won the World Cup?
A: She turns off the PlayStation.

Continuing on with my blow by blow or handball by handball commentary of the world's most infuriating game, did you guys see this article by a somewhat lesser scribe than myself.

OK so he's better than me but I needed some self love to boost my confidence...lol

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/world-cup-2010/teams/uruguay/7869796/World-Cup-2010-Uruguay-striker-Luis-Suarez-says-it-was-Hand-of-God-against-Ghana.html

The guy who allegedly cheated by stopping the Ghana ball is allegedly proud of the fact, and allegedly admitted to doing it intentionally, to keep his team in the tournament.

For this, the guy gets a one match ban ONLY!

Will he also now be a National Hero for this?

OK this game has gone from the sublime to the ridiculous.

If it wasn't that I have this $1 million a day contract, to report back my totally, unbiased thoughts to you guys, I wouldn't watch the sports news ever again.

By the way CJ who is actually paying me the money as I haven't received my first cheque yet?....lol

BUT being a thorough professional, I will lower my standards even further and keep reporting on the Alleged Bewdiful Game.

Is the rumour true that nest WC (World Cup or Water Closet both are appropriate...lol)they are changing the name to FootandHandball so that these "Hands of God" aren't so controversial?.....lol

Your crazed correspondent signing off.

Cheating and gamesmanship in the place of sportsmanship.

Contrast that with the sportsmanlike behaviour of Pat Rafter the Australian tennis player who politely challenged an umpire's ruling that his opponent's ball was out. When the ruling could not be overturned, Rafter deliberately hit his return into the net on the next service to give the point to his opponent.

"Treading water at 62nd placed in the world at the end of 1996, Rafter’s career was at the crossroads as he headed into his seventh year on the international circuit.

The roller coaster year kicked off in January during the Australian Hardcourt Championship in Adelaide. At a critical time in the second set tiebreaker against Andrei Cherkasov, Rafter reversed a line call that virtually gave the match to the Russian. Rafter was awarded the Diploma of Honor for his sportsmanship by the Committee for Fair Play, founded by French legend Jean Borotra."

http://www.dinkumaussies.com/SPORTING%20Oz%20Tennis%2FPatrick%20Rafter.htm

Good for you Pat, you will always be remembered.

Dear Cornflower

A sense of humour cannot be proven by cutting and pasting a couple of jokes.

Nor does a joie de vivre manifest itself by repeating one liners. It is something that comes from within, it is an intrinsic part of personality. The main reason you loathe CJ Morgan is simply because you don't 'get' him. Sad but true. He displays much humour and compassion throughout his posts on OLO - he doesn't need to cut and paste traditional jokes.

The core of this thread was for it to be light hearted. Now I readily admit I don't 'get' soccer - the low scores, the absurd injury claims which are more comedy than serious. But there are far worse team sports like Rugby - a game for complete tossers.

However, that doesn't mean I can't be interested in who wins for lack of a team to follow. I can respect our Dutch friend, Celivia and barrack for the Oranje.

Now, you may have noticed, Opi2 and I dissing each other's taste in AFL teams - this is simply teasing, it is not meant to be nasty and I do not take offence. Especially as I know St Kilda will be in the finals again for the 6th year in a row and have a good chance of being in the Grand Final again - heh heh. And winning that elusive cup? They ARE a seasoned team now, the only team more experienced is Geelong, I am sure a Geelong St Kilda grand final will result on St Kilda taking out the premiership - they have the measure of Geelong now. Do I hear Opi2 choking on his morning coffee?

Can I have Severin charged with attempted murder?

She deliberately said that last bit about StKilda so I would drown in my morning coffee, which I nearly did...lol

Cough, Cough, Splutter, Splutter

Luckily my tough Magpie genes came through and it only made me brain dead.

Now I am a fully qualified Collingwood fan!...lol

Just to prove I am the reasonable person here...I would actually be quite happy to see StKilda win this years flag...

Call me a softy but I love it when below average teams get up to beat champion teams...lol

PLUS as I don't like Mick Malthouse...I'd probably enjoy watching his surly, sulking response at the press conference...lol

Do SBS have a forum?...I think I should go and give my opinions on the round ball, bewdiful game there. I think I'd be really appreciated...lol

Keep smiling guys...this is afterall a game... Be it a silly game...lol

The Orange stains are doing brilliantly.

Could it be an all Europe final? Germany Vs The Stains?

It is all in God's Hand(s).

Severin (awe struck), "Golly gosh, you mean CJ? Or am I never going to understand humour (as well as soccer)"

Thank you Severin for supporting Oranje!
And I agree with you regarding humour and the lack of it.
CJ is definitely on my list of favourite posters for similar reasons.

Was that youuu, opi, who sneaked around my garden and popped the orange balloons that I had attached to my letter box? Or perhaps Cornflower diddit!
No seriously, someone popped them and we are suspecting our Germany fan next door, lol. The old guy is too fanatic, I'm sure he had lots of fun committing the balloon popping crime.

Yes it's very possible that the Germs will have to play the Stains.
Oh when the Stains, oh when the Stains come marching in...

I get why people, who have not been raised with football (or call it soccer) don't 'get' it. I really find it hard to get myself interested in sports like Cricket (yawn) or Rugby.

Never mind all the teasing by the egg-shaped heads; it's water off a duck's back and I will enjoy watching even at 4:30 in the morning.

Are you gonna get up to watch it life CJ? I hope you're you still on holiday!

Thanks Severin. I think our senses of humour develop quite early in life. Mine is a product of exposure to writers like Ogden Nash and Hilaire Belloc, not to mention the old B&W slapstick movies that were still common when I was a kid. I think Cornflower's developed while she was pulling wings off flies and similar stuff.

LOL at Opi2 - may the sound of vuvuzelas lull you to sleep for months to come :P

Celivia - alas, my brief holiday is over, but I may get up early to watch. Sounds like you've got a reprise of WW2 happening at your place, and we know how that ended up!

Opi2

>> Luckily my tough Magpie genes came through and it only made me brain dead.

Now I am a fully qualified Collingwood fan!...lol <<

EX-CELL-ENT ...... A Montgomery Burns type 'excellent'.

Now we get to have some fun and I get to watch Collingwood get the traditional 'collywobbles' at the most crucial of moments.

Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

CJ Morgan

I think we should be afraid, very afraid if the Final consists of a German v Dutch playoff. WW3 in the quiet suburbs of NSW.
First they popped balloons and no-one spoke out...

CF

"Golly Gosh" OK, now try "Goodness Gracious Me".

C J (preening), "Mine is a product of exposure to writers like Ogden Nash and Hilaire Belloc.."

Severin (open mouthed), "Goodness Gracious Me, you are so clever, CJ."

Hey, you are right Severin it does work well.

Just in case anyone is interested my sense of humour came from my mirror...I am a scream...lol

Celivia...sorry as a Collingwood fan I am not smart enough to think of popping your ballons, plus we aren't allowed access to pins or needles since one of our kind was found with a knitting needle jammed in a vein thinking that was how you got high...lol

Severin... do you realise how painful the term "Colliwobbles" is to a Magpie fan? You should, St Kilda got them last year...lol

CJ...I prefer to call them hooters, and that is one great way to be lulled to sleep...lol

Many people are tipping the stains will win it this year...

Is it true the World Cup trophy from this year on will be of a player taking a dive?

Apparently some people are critical of the current design because it seems to encourage hand ball incidents.

It allegedly depicts 2 people holding up the planet Earth.

If the Earth also depicts a ball, then the people holding the ball have committed a handball infringement and this just wouldn't do.

The fact that quite a few important games have been decided by handballs, makes the trophy, to me, very relevant, and a true depiction of what happens too often in the game...lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNJndFpgTEI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqvXsz9N92I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbbsytHDp2o&feature=related

Yep Footandhandball seems a more reasonable name...lol

To further emphasise Fifa's absolute disdain for people using their hands, the winners this year have to accept the cup balancing it on their heads, with no hands involved whatsoever...lol

GO FIFA!

Hehehe a mini 3rd world war with popping balloons and perhaps waterpistols sounds like fun.

Opi I will let you off the hook!
BTW, I don't want to rub your face in problems with football, but there is a new article you might want to ignore: "The football violence is striking". Cheer! Cheer! Time for celebration.
I won't comment on that thread because I obviously lack knowledge about football but I will read to learn.

But Opi should footy be called football? I mean, it's within in the rules to pick up an egg, which can hardly be called a ball, and run around with it. In 'soccer' it is at least called a foul, when a handball is made, e.g. Suarez's.

This is an informative article about handballs and the author compares fouls like Suarez's with other sports' fouls:
http://tinyurl.com/38g4doo

The author concludes that "The problem people should have is with the rule itself and a change should be considered."

And I think I'm gonna agree with that after the WC is over.

For now, my biased opinion is that Suarez (who is lucky that I am not a Karma god) cheated Ghana out of a fair go, and should therefore lose tomorrow when they play the Stains, even though Suarez is banned from playing.

Go go go, olé olé olé!

YAY my orange bracelet really works 'coz Oranje won 3-2!
So next, the stains will have to play either Spain or Germany in the finals early Monday morning Australian time.
Let it be Spain!

I filled my water pistol with orange stained water and if anyone from next door dares come near my balloons with a pin they will be shot at!

Celivia

I am very happy for you, however am a little concerned that you have been drinking too much sweet fizzy orange soda. Sugar can have a very bad effect. Now, slowly, put down the water pistol and go to bed.

Am fearing a German/Dutch Grand final. Time to batten down the hatches this could get a little rough.

Opi2

If you are indeed a true Magpies supporter you would know that the collywobbles occur halfway through a game when Collingwood cave and let the opposing team run them into the ground. 'Collywobbles' is a disease only suffered by Collingwood - hence the name. If you had bothered to watch the 2009 Grand Final, you would be aware that it was a close hard fought game, the outcome decided only at the very end. Nothing wobbly about that. Could your ignorance of AFL be showing?

CF

Very good! You have used "goodness gracious me" in a sentence. However, you have not quite caught the full meaning of the phrase - I am not at all surprised that CJ Morgan is clever. So 5/10.

Now we can move on to balance and coordination. Stand in a corner on one leg, pat your head with your left hand and rub your stomach in a circular motion with your right (hand).

Stains rule - bring on WW3!

Thanks for the kind words Severin, and for the hilarious mental image :D

I see Hyacinth Bucket doing strange things in the corner...

Those who've been unkindly slagging the rugger buggers should be aware that they have some redeeming features - vuvuzelas have been banned from this weekend's Ra-Ra Test between the All Blacks and South Africa in Auckland.

Anybody arriving with any kind of plastic horn will apprently be told to ruck off :P

Severin,

I've never heard of the colliwobbles or Lou Richards who came up with the name....Ha!

You're correct....last years Grand Final was a hard fought game and St Kilda did well to lose...lol

I too am thrilled that the Orange Stains have made it through to the final. They beat Uruguay and so Suarez's hand-ball hasn't been rewarded too highly and karma rules again.

Poor Ghana!

This pressure build-up begs the questions, What will cause a result?

Will it be:

...A handball that decides the outcome?

...A refs mistake?

...A pretend injury that tips the balance?

...The hooters deafening effects on a sensitive players ears?

...A red card given by a sight impaired referee?

...A dive, in or near the rectangular thingymebob?

OR will it be a penalty shootout...from a game where no-one actually was skilful enough to hit the back of the net?

OMG I can feel the pressure building....What error will cause a result...lol

I hope for all you soccerball heads that it is through a wonderfully hard fought game, where both sides play attacking soccer, where the fans are on the edges of their seats due to the mastery and skill of the players on the field.

A game where attacking surges are only shut down by heroic, fair defence. Where great goalkeeping builds the pressure, as each team rifles the ball in at that brave, single man, who protects the net.

A game where no-one gets a headache attempting to score...lol

And a game where Celivia manages to restrain herself from overindulging and doesn't fall asleep prior to the result, in her orange juice fuelled stupor!...lol

Where her balloons aren't prematurely popped.

Where Severin's tight, body hugging, Orange jumper isn't too tight to make her faint from breathlessness.

One can only dream,...but suddenly, with a rush of realism to quell my mounting adrenalin, I remember.....

OMG it is only soccer....and my dreams are crushed once again by the ordinariness of the round ball game!...lol

I still hope everyone's team comes a draw...lol

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

"I see Hyacinth Bucket doing strange things in the corner..." Mmwwoaaahahaha, I think that CF will give up 'coz you two are incorrigible!

Great to read that the vuvuzelas have been banned this weekend in Aucland! It must have been easier to ban them from the Eden park sports grounds because loud, noisy instruments have never been allowed there in the first place (if I am to believe my husband).

My crystal ball tells me that there is a good chance that they will gradually be banned at more and more sport events.
If not, I might buy shares in ear-plug companies. Hehehe not that I'm into shares, but perhaps it's a way to go "from rags to riches" or to "sleep while you get rich". Lol.

Oh No, I am crushed the Germans didn't win against Spain. Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo, OK I'm over the sadness...lol

So now we have a final between the Orange Stains and the Darker Orange Stains but at least the World Cup Officials saw that problem coming and both have away jerseys as well.

For the round ball challenged here are the Uniforms

Spain Home Jersey http://www.worldsoccershop.com/47902-sc.html

Spain Away Jersey http://www.worldsoccershop.com/47896.html

Netherlands Home Jersey http://tinyurl.com/39v6wte

Netherlands Away Jersey http://www.worldsoccershop.com/376907-wh.html

Now I bet that's a load off all our minds...lol

I think I'll barrack for nobody....and just be glad that CJ has sent me all those millions for my expert commentaries.

Thanks CJ

Good Luck Celivia, your balloon popping neighbour can have a rest for another 4 years...lol

Thank you for your good luck wishes, Opi. I'm afraid we will need all the good luck we can get. The Spanish were so strong against Germany!
Anyway, I don't mind as much if Spain wins- just didn't want to lose from the Germs.

I'm glad you did so well out of this discussion, financially. I was surprised that CJ pays you for comments... I thought YOU were paying HIM to let you post here, lol.

Nah you have been great entertainment. Sometimes it's just fun to joke and tease a little, isn't it?

I haven't seen my neighbour after Spain's victory. I hope he still lives!

I would much preferred a Dutch/Cherman play-off. And rather like Spain for many reasons. To my misfortune I do not have any Spanish friends but I do have a Dutch friend or two.

GO ORANJE! ! ! ! !

Nigel de Jong is a bit of a hunk:

http://d.yimg.com/i/ng/sp/empics/20090911/09/556663746-11092009095123.jpg

Speaking of hunks, Nick Riewoldt (team captain to the ignorant) is baaaaaack. GO SAINTERS:

http://www1.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/St+Kilda+Training+Session+LS08niYXGK4l.jpg

Sev, you really know how to pick 'em :))
Muscles are always good!
I recently discovered that there is such association as DAFA:
http://www.aussierulesinternational.com/home/world/europe/netherlands

That must be pretty exciting for the Flying Dutchman, to be able to play Aussie rules! Who'd 've thunk! Thanks to you and the other Aussie rules fans here I'm a little bit more updated about footie!

Well, my freshly baked orange-iced (read: stained) cupcakes are ready to be eaten (either out of frustration OR celebration).
I hope they'll taste as good as they look!
Lemme thank you for your support. But oh no, something smells fishy... Paul the Octopus has predicted Spain will be the winner! Perhaps if I feed him a cupcake he'll change his cute little mind!

If Oranje wins, then I will offer you all (even you, CF) a cupcake on the house! Includes a drink of freshly squeezed orange juice, of course :)

Celivia

Sounds like you are right for the night.

I checked out the Dutch website - they have a Saints team! ! !

>> Utrecht Saints

The Utrecht Saints were the first club to be established in the Netherlands. Their match against the Rest of Holland in May 2009 was the first domestic fixture in the country. <<

Brilliant. I have bookmarked the page.

PS

If Spain loses, Paul had better move fast to get away from the paella pan.

Oh sob sob, we lost! Well Spain played better so they deserved it.
Only a couple of minutes before the end of the extra time, did the Spanish score.
Anyway, we'll have to settle for 2nd place!
And congratulations to Spain!

The best news however, is that "...cacophony of vuvuzelas suddenly died down."
http://tinyurl.com/26efo6v

Severin,
What a surprise that Utrecht have a Saints team! Whattayaknow?!

Celivia

Well you have had an exciting ride. The Oranje played a tough hard game against Spain. So you can be proud.

I can't begin to imagine the frustration of watching a long game with nil scores.

South Africa has proved the critics wrong and held a successful World Cup - no small feat for any country.

Go Saints?

Yes, no Dutch treat this time, but the Spanish flew!

Commiserations to Celivia, viva Iniesta. Severin's right - at least from this distance this year's World Cup was a credit to South Africa.

Mind you, may we never hear another vuvuzela :D

Gracias, Severin and CJ!

May the Saints march on! Of course I should barack for the Swans :)
But hey, I'm versatile, I can do both :)

And gracias too for this thread, CJ, it was mucha diversión!

Hasta la Vista, babies!

Commiserations Celivia,

Don't dilute your Orange Juice with too many tears....lol Your team did very well.

If you can get your hands on Paul, the psychic Octopus, here is a recipe using a Dutch Oven to let him stew in his smarty-tentacled juices...lol

I cried for hours after the final....

Not because the Dutch lost...but with absolute excitement for the fact that the World Cup is over forever.

The world ends in 2012...Ask the Mayan team that failed to qualify for the World Cup...lol

Can you believe it the world will end without the Australians or the Dutch having ever won it...lol

December 21 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAtgPaggeTM&feature=related

OOps I forgot the recipe...lol

http://fishcooking.about.com/od/squidoctopusrecipes/ss/howto_prep_octo_3.htm

"It was niggly, it was scrappy, it was dirty, it was spiteful" and the losers are blaming the English referee.

http://www.smh.com.au/world-cup-2010/world-cup-news/dutch-point-finger-of-blame-at-referee-webb-20100712-106ad.html#poll

Heh, heh, just another 'beautiful' round ball game.

Opi2

>>> I cried for hours after the final....

Not because the Dutch lost...but with absolute excitement for the fact that the World Cup is over forever. <<<

And no more vuvuzela.

"Its the end of the world as we know it........

..... I feel fine.... "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTOaxzG0GdU

PS

Paella is one of my fave dishes and did you know that the Dutch don't use Dutch Ovens? ? ? ?

CF

Whatever.