“I am reminded of nothing greater than a primary school yard replete with "girl germs", "boy germs" and "only sissies play with girls" and the like.”

Hi Fractelle,

Often the kids with me are quite isolated, for sometimes months at a time. In my house they play with anything, jewelry, cars, trampoline, dolls. They don’t know what is for boys and what is for girls or that girls and boys have roles in the big wide world.

My husband and I do equal domestic stuff so they get no clues there.

The word girl and boy only point out a particular physical difference.

It is amazing… boys are just as nurturing (when little, I can only speak for under five year olds) and girls just as mean. I don’t know, maybe hormones change this but I suspect it is society.

Often a new boy (gender specific usually means taboo to males with kids) comes along and says something like “eeww that’s for girls”, all children look at him like he is nuts. Probably get a collective reply like “shuddup Yabby”.

Isolate and allow no male/female concepts, sit back and observe, fascinating stuff.

This may mean there is hope for society, at some point. I know I went well off track, born to blither.

Jewely

My young nephew was always into cuddles, but now he's 12 so doesn't get into such 'baby' stuff.

BUT

He still helps his frail 84 year old Granny with anything she wants, and insisted that his 12th birthday be celebrated at her home.

There is always hope.

Dear Ginxy,

I know you don't set out to hurt.
You're a softie. I love your sense
of humour and your gutsy style of
posting - which has me laughing so hard
at times that I can't see the computer screen
for the tears. You provide the extra zing
that we sometimes desperately need on OLO.

Dear examinator,

Try not to let personal attacks get to you.
You strike me as a man who knows exactly
what he wants out of life and how to get it,
so spoilers on this Forum - should merely be
irksome - nothing more.

Or put another way - as I said on another post -
It's sad but not all men are created equal, and
you are one of the superior kind. Besides you've
got good taste in women!

Dear Fractelle,

You've summed things up beautifully and I
fully agree with you.

Your nephew sounds like an angel - and his
gran's a very lucky lady.

Dear Jewely,

I've said it once and I'll say it again -
you're such a joy! And the children you care
for are so lucky to have you as a mum.
They'll end up as happy, well adjusted, fully
functional adults - thanks to you. Bless you!

Hey Foxy, I don't think I am doing well. Lack a certain udnerstanding of a bigger picture within politics or the way things work here. But thank you thank you thank you, I would have run away awhile ago if not for the ones like you and Romany, Fractelle, Ginx and some wonderfully helpful and supportive men.

Fractelle I was going to say that I mis-spoke earlier. There is one gender specific thing in my house. The bathing and toileting, nappy changes - with my dughters occasional help.

Amazing amount of it at times but when fostering we must always protect our men (husband and 18 year old son)from allegations.

Dealing with small children in our society does seem to be a part of society that men are not yet safe in.

Overseas I loved that men weren't scared, they played with others children all the time.