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The Forum > General Discussion > Are we cheating our children and therefore ourselves

Are we cheating our children and therefore ourselves

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Spikey Pericles,
I'm not on about the children of today Socrates (the real one)said something like that 2500 year ago.
I'm more concerned about what we're teaching them with *our* behaviour.
One question must be why did so many of the "we can/will" generation sell out? What happened to the we want change...? Arguably we made it worse.
Take the ad about mum chastizing her daughter for saying "bloody indiot" then 30 second later calling another driver that, the emperor Nassi Goring ad.
Chapin's song says "I want to be like you dad" and he was
Posted by examinator, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 2:38:07 PM
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Houellebecq,

I observe your splendid understanding of irony.

Don't go for a walk or self-flagellate. Instead, have a browse of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Books_about_irony
Posted by Spikey, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 2:41:19 PM
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Dear examinator,

I've been sitting here re-reading your opening post and
I've got to confess that I can't identify with the gloomy
picture that you're painting. I don't think that as parents we've 'sold out.'
That we've compromised our 'ideals,'
or created a world in which we're going to be
miserable in our old age.

Both my husband and I have worked hard all of our lifes.
We have two children of whom we're very proud.
While working full-time, raising a family, and with
my husband's support, I managed to complete my
post-graduate studies. We're a very close family unit
which includes grandparents, uncles, aunts, nieces and nephews.

My children know they are very loved. We've always been open and
honest with them.

So, I'm sorry, I don't understand why such an unusually gloomy
outlook on things from you this time. Life certainly has its
challenges but it's not as black as all that surely?
As parents we all try to do the best we can. But, my children
know that we're also human, and make mistakes. And when
we've goofed - I've always explained things to my children.
We've always talked about everything. And they've always
known the reasons behind our decisions. We've also tried
very hard not to impose our biases on our children. Be it
in politics, religion, their choice of friends...

Cheer up.
Posted by Foxy, Wednesday, 4 February 2009 7:30:19 PM
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Foxy,
I'm not sad or gloomy. I'm sure that you, some others on OLO I can name are fine.
When I said "we" I was looking at the wider picture. I thoroughly enjoyed the show nostalgia and all that, even though I was still a babe in arms at the time of the show ;-)
A year or so later I was involved in my first march…to support the aboriginals’ right to vote (Me and umpteen others in Melb).

Recently I saw a number of vox pops after 'the big day out'(a pop concert a few months back) and I was struck by the differences in attitudes.

Sure youth will be what they have always been trying to find their voice the baby boomers had the Who and ‘My Generation’. This generation songs are far more aggressive and dark. Youth in general seem all that more jaded, more desperate to be seeking extreme diversions. The extreme nature of it rail surfing something our generation never did. Graffiti, gravestone vandalism, vandalism is far more aggressive, tagging (an identity issue). E’s, Ice etc are everywhere socially. There was always an *element* of rebellion (the archetypal Fonzie) later dope and LSD (in some environments). I wondered why the almost manic level of diversion (escape). Chapin’s warning gave me the idea.

The 29 yo across the road has a mouth at times like a sewerage pipe at times…his two children (6&4) were playing traffic and the boy mimicked road rage. The men down the road have abused me for doing bush regeneration because it interfered with their illegal activities.

The Grey nomads one wonders what this is doing for the extended family bit. Contact between grandparents and ensuing generations is important for any number of reasons. Forget the inheritance that is transitory consider the social and financial costs to society.

I’ve never believed in cocooning or blinkers, gloom is pointless, here I prefer realism then you can plan change. I will never give up on society and cocoon or binker my self.
Posted by examinator, Thursday, 5 February 2009 8:47:09 AM
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Examinator
My parents used to worry about the same issues that I worry about with my kids - drugs, sexual promiscuity, manners etal. Each generation brings with it a revision of old problems based on changes in technology, availability of information and culture.

We cannot do much enmasse to change the things we might not like about some of the current social trends (manners is my bugbear), but we can try to be better role models ourselves - random acts of kindess and all that stuff.

The best thing we can do for our children is to remain positive and supportive and demonstrate by action rather than by words. (My kids go deaf to preaching and I still do occasionally fall into the old parent traps) :)
Posted by pelican, Thursday, 5 February 2009 9:09:18 AM
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Dear Pelican,

I agree with you. I've also found that being supportive is important.
As I've said in many other threads - every parent I know lives
with the uneasy sense that their children are growing up too
fast.

Once I realised that collecting for the Spastic Society once a year,
and taking part in other 'fund-raising' activities, was not
going to add up to moral development, I started looking
seriously for way to help my children learn right from wrong, and
to know that sometimes there is a decision to be made in the
middle.

My children, growing up were facing tough choices and complicated
situations that could not be addressed with simple lectures on
the values of kindness or isolated chats about standing up for
one's beliefs. I wanted to surround my children with a sturdy
sensibility, a world view, and I wanted it to be different from the
'Me' mentality of modern culture.

But here I am getting carried away ...

Dear examinator,

I'm glad that you're not 'gloomy.' Your opening post just came
across that way to me on first reading and I became concerned.
Anyway, thanks for explaining - but as Pelly pointed out - parents
have always worried about similar sorts of issues over the years.
I guess they always will. Times may change, but the problems
remain. You do the best you can, and fingers-crossed, things
turn out OK.
Posted by Foxy, Thursday, 5 February 2009 9:30:21 AM
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