Fractelle,

Re dress, if you are asking me, I'd have to say that unless Ian Fleming were to have been on my list, your first choice was most appropriate. (But hey, who cares about propriety; does it really express yourself?) You might not even reach the basement lift lobby before you ran into trouble with Security if you were to wear the second outfit. Mind you, the latter would be far more practical should there be any occasion to use the emergency base jumping escape kit in the case of a lift failure, but we don't want to even think about that eventuality. Are they celtic motifs in your first choice?

Spikey,

How would Water Chestnuts in Pernod substitute for the yabbies? And Spaghetti Napolitana (tomato, basil, onion, garlic, bay leaf) for the macropod dish? In no way does it compare with the brassic coulibiac that Foxy has on offer in due course, but it should still fit in with the wine list. Je ne suis pas un sommelier, mais peut-etre...? 15/15?

I am quite happy to relegate Winston Groom, in the light of your observation as to the top-heaviness of my guest list with authors, but not in favour of Steve Jobs. How about Hugo Eckener? Lead Zeppelin, and could have been Chancellor, pre-empting Herr Schickelgruber, if only he had put his hand up! Lighter-than-air; the hydrogen economy, and all that. Perhaps a bit of an old gas-bag, but all things old are new again.

Do come. Prick some bubbles. Foil some pricks.

Foxy,

Delighted you are looking forward to meeting David Yallop. I was seriously considering inviting Albino Luciani, but on reflection thought that might have been ...... awkward. Sometimes the victims of foul deeds are just too trusting in the good intentions of those around them, and muzzle their vindicators.

Bronwyn,

Apropos previous discussions re OLO features, Fractelle seems to have found a good workaround for the absence of an image feature. Interested in seeing your choice of outfit in due course, bandwidth permitting.

Pelican,

Thanks. A phun thread.

Great fun, Pelican!

Foxy I'm delighted to have been invited to your party, I hope the party ain't over yet, I only noticed this thread this morning.
Should I wear something naughty or something nice?

Well I'm trying to keep my hands off the guests already invited by others.
Not that I'm into mental torture or anythin' but I thought of inviting:

Bill Henson

Sheik el-Hilali

Mother Theresa

Christopher Hitchens

Lucille Ball

The Blues Brothers

Plato- 'coz I want to hand you all a copy of the dialogues he jots down at this table.

Foxy,

You're a gem. I'll come, thank you. But I have to tell you caviar might not be acceptable, being the roe of fish. I had it once while flying in a Russian airliner from Moscow to Leningrad and felt sick, although my companion asserted it was the fumes leaking into the cabin. The salmon loaf might not get touched either, but the cabbage might do the trick.

I'll take my fill of the 'Borshch and the Vareniki and of course I should not overlook the cakes and desserts. Plenty to soak up all that liquid refreshment.

Forrest Gumpp,

If Fractelle wore the first dress, Security would be sufficiently distracted that I could sneak in unnoticed in her second choice.

I would find Water Chestnuts in Pernod a more than adequate substitute for the yabbies. But I'll pass on the Spaghetti Napolitana - every time I go to a restaurant that is not interested in vegetarians (one-third of their potential customers) the chef suggests pasta or risotto. I pre-empt those choices now and send a message to the chef that I expect him/her to rise to the challenge. That has a dramatic impact on the smuggery.

Incidentally, let anyone mistake me for a spoilsport, I'm more than delighted to run through your wine list. People think I'm quite a lass when I've had a tipple. I prefer to say that Je suis un grand sommelier, et j'aime le grand marnier aussi.

I'm quite happy with your amended guest list. I understand Hugo Eckener was not a fan of Hitler and Nazism in general, so he might be enlightening, though inviting Led Zeppelin to the same table could produce some initial confusion (and some bad music).

Given the voluptuous menus on offer by both Foxy and Forrest, I shall have to reconsider my outfit. To eat in full any and all delicacies.

I have decided to compromise on clothing, my need for total freedom winning out; Blood red tent dress (celtic motif), just long enough to conceal strap-on weaponry of choice (Smith & Wesson snub-nose .38) and I never leave home without my grappling suspenders (great for stockings and scaling walls).

Shoes also must be a pragmatic but nonetheless glamourous choice: http://www.fashionchicks.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/chloeredstudboots.gif

I think Ian Fleming would approve.

I always like to bring a gift; would a bottle of absinthe be acceptable? http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=8tWyDxiOz70

Could be a relaxing way to end the evening.

Fractelle,

Now about red shoes and red dresses. When I was a young thing in Teacher's College they taught us not to wear shiny red shoes. Since we were naive, their reflective qualities had to be pointed out to us, of course.

Indeed later, the colour red was decidedly iffy because, we were warned, it inflamed men's base passions. And I know it to be true. I wear red a lot and it works every time.

As for your gift, a bottle of absinthe would be totally acceptable. As they say, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Spikey you sound like a girl after my own heart, figuratively speaking (?).

I was taught that shiny black patent leather shoes gave the game away. I selected soft red suede boots to aid in concealing MY weapons.

My back-up alternative list:

Daria - Fave Cartoon character
Henry Rollins - if Foxy can't keep the peace Henry will.
Richard E Grant - intelligent and sexy
Father Bob Maguire (my fave Catholic)
Tim Robbins - as for Richard E
Christina Hendricks - she's hot
Jeff Buckley - he was hot
Heath Ledger - so was he
Sharon Stone - she still is

Enough. Time for cold shower.