And now for a bit of light entertainment. I know this is a bit old hat but nevertheless.

If you could invite any six-eight people to dinner who would you invite?

It doesn't even have to be someone you like particularly but someone you think might make for interesting and stimulating dinner conversation. They can be living or deceased.

My list would be (in no particular order):

Bob Brown
Germaine Greer
Rowan Williams (Archbishop of Canterbury)
Julia Gillard
Frida Khalo (artist)
Geraldine Doogue
Ghandi (I know...I know...everyone says Ghandi)
Richard Dawkins

Charles de Secondat, baron de Montesquieu
François-Marie Arouet
Oscar Wilde
Carl Sagan
Robert A. Heinlein
Sir Richard Francis Burton
Elizabeth the First
William Shakespeare

Thanks Pelican

(we're permitted double ups aren't we?)

Richard Attenborough
Germaine Greer
Oscar Wilde
Julian Burnside
Dalai Lama
Shelby Spong
Richard Dawkins
Marie Stoner
Wil Anderson
Fiona O'Loughlin

Oh what fun!

I'll assume that language is no issue as well.

my girlfriend
Robert A. Heinlein - sorry to copy but I'd have to have him
Jesus Christ
Robert Fulghum
John Cleeze
JFK
Condoleeza Rice
Barry Lopez

John Ralston Saul (genius/author/philosopher "on equalibrium")
Tariq Ali (Author ex muslim "the clash of Fundementalisms")
Clive Hamilton ("afluenza")
James. L Gervin (Middle east historian " the Israel-Palestine conflict)
Philip Ball(author "critical Mass")
David Attenborough(ex BBC CEO, knowlegable envronmentalist et sec)
Noam Chomsky Polymath, Linguist, human rights campaigner, philosopher... America's social conscience, wise man, all round good egg.)
*Isaac Asimov (Polymath, Prof Biochemistry, SF and science books, inventor of the universally accepted three laws of robotics)
*John Cleese (monty python, brilliant man)
*Barry Jones (brilliant man , author, philosopher,politician)
*= standby guests to include them all wouldn't be practical unless a weekend syposium.

The Lord for sure.
Billy Graham.
Smith Wigglesworth.
Benny Hinn because he's blessed and gets them on the floor where they can get healed.
John Newton (Amazing Grace)
Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker because God forgave them and gave them ministries again:)

Benny Hinn is a fraud. The only miracle he has performed is that he is not in jail.

He lives in an 8 million dollar mansion paid for by gullable Christians who are sucked in to donating to his ministry.

He has able bodied people brought in in wheel chairs and prays for them to walk, which they do. He avoids praying for anyone with a genuine need.

He stays in $3000 per night hotel rooms and flys around in a private jet.

He wouldn't be on my guest list even if he was paying. I can't believe that Christians would support this liar.

Ive seen God use Benny Hinn, Steel Mann.
So I dont complain.

His wealth is between him and The Lord.
If The Lord wants to bring him down He will.

I find he usually comes under judgment from lukewarm, so-called christians who love nudity and gays freely moving around inside the churches, untaught by Gods Word.

Gibo,

We disagree, but you can have the last word.

Steel Man you might be missing out on some of the fun of this.
Our lists tell something of what we value both by who is included and who is not. They don't always tell why we would invite someone.

Enjoy it, learn some more about your fellow posters but don't get to bothered by peoples choices no matter what you think of their choices.

I was more surprised by Billy Graham and John Newton being on Gibo's list than the known scoundrels and also surprised that Stan Deyo and Jack Burell were not on the list.

R0bert

OK, here goes.

Sir Oswald Mosley
Isabel Allende
Bernard Levin
Eleanor of Aquitaine
Richard Wagner
Freya Stark
Ovid
Lakshmi Bai

Pelicans list – Bob Brown and Germaine G… what are you serving…;. Humble pie?

Bugsy’s – I recognize half of them, I suggest make it an early dinner or Richard B will be legless and the Irish always like to ‘top’ the Welsh, so Oscar might take advantage

Fractelle – Dickie Attenborough is certainly entertaining

Robert – JC was a party animal, tricks like turning water into wine
Condaleeza does a good piano party piece too

examinator – john cleese and Dickie are good fellows,

Gibo I suggest you count your cutlery and gold fillings both before and after you have Swaggart, Hinn and Jim Bakker around.

Pericles list sounds most entertaining, just don’t sit Ozzie Mosley and Bernard Levin alongside one another….

For myself, using the following seating arrangement:

Margaret Thatcher
Warren Buffet
Madonna
Billy Connolly
Barbara Hepworth
Freddie Mercury
Nigella Lawson
Me
. . . and back to dearest Margaret

I reckon the conversation and traffic in one-liners would be fabulous

Adolf Hitler
Josef Stalin
Pol Pot
Robert Mugabe
Kim Jong-il
Francisco Franco
Benito Mussolini
Augusto Pinochet

Hosted by the Vatican.

Actually Col, I referring to Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton, the Englishman.

I think you may be refferring to Richard Walter Jenkins, the Welsh alcoholic actor.

This was a lot harder than I thought - so many to choose from and so little time. I was going to add Ernest Hemingway to mine but thought the inevitable clash with Germaine might create a bit of tension.

Spikey
I would be a bit scared at your dinner table but the discussion would be enlightening.

Col
No humble pie for Germaine and Bob. I thought Maggie might make an appearance at your table - I agree there would be some wonderful one-liners and no-nonsense discussion if anyone else could get a word in - actually I take that back Billy Connolly would be a hard act to beat and Freddie would throw a wild card into the mix. And the lovely Nigella (is she cooking?). :)

Fractelle
I concur Julian Burnside would be an interesting addition as would Oscar Wilde and the Dalai Lama. And yes no problems with double ups as there are no rules. As I said you don't even have to like your choice necessarily.

Pericles
As usual, along with your valiant debating skills and wisdom, your group would prove interesting entertainment and stimulating conversation.

Examinator
Clive Hamilton and John Cleese - now that is a table I would like to be a fly on the wall. Attenborough and Jones would get on well I think - both very wrapped up in their world and a bit eccentric in a nice way.

RObert
You are a sweetie to include your girlfriend. Just make sure John Cleese doesn't take a fancy to her - I've heard he likes the ladies. :)

Gibo
Why am I not surprised. But you would love it I am sure. Jesus Christ would be an interesting addition, we could get a few straight answers. I am not sure I could cope with the two Jimmies.

Bugsy
Your list is very highbrow and I can just imagine the lines of conversation - didn't realise your second choice was Voltaire (you learn something everyday).

Spikey,

That's my list.

Don't forget Idi Amin & Saddam Hussain.

But I would hate to imagine what might be on the menu.

David Attenborough
Richard Dawkins
Germaine Greer
Rowan Williams
Bob Hawk
Oscar Wild
Peter Ustinov
The Pope

I think this list would provide some interesting and spirited controversy

My dinner party guest list is as follows:

Rowan Atkinson
Dawn French
Andrew Denton
Cate Blanchett
Judi Dench
Stephen Fry
Helen Mirren
Peter Ustinov

I've gone over the limit - but I want them all.

Ok Steel Man,

I realized my guest list was a bit monoMANical. So I'll let you have any four of my male dictators to add to your two, Idi Amin & Saddam Hussain.

I want to correct my original gender balance by including four women to go with my four remaining males:

Lucrezia Borgia
Margaret Thatcher
Catherine 11 of Russia
Marie Antoinette

I wonder who would sit next to each other and what they'd talk about?

Spikey
Are you aware that 14 yo Lucrezia was pimped out by her brother in order to gain more power and was eventually crowned pope. He was a right royal sod. Nothing too godly about him.

You forgot the marquis de Sarde, Now there’s a dinner guest who could tell a story or two.

Vlad Terpis prince of Walachia (the real Count Dracula [son of the dragon his dad was 'Dracule' [the dragon]...better known as Vlad the Impaler)... now there was a guy to avoid. He was reputed to have impaled 1000 city elders because they knew his father (talk about parent issues). He watched while he ate his brekkie then his lunch.
When two ambassadors who said that they couldn’t remove their turbans for religious reasons he had his carpenters nail them to their heads. (They died)
He was so skilled at impaling it took 8-12 hrs to die. Fun guy or what.

What about Peter Curtin (the vampire of Düsseldorf) in the 1920’s he was executed for killing 15 woman and a possible further 8. His shtick was to rape them while simultaneously stabbing them in the throat. He did the same to sheep.

Bon apitite

ok [they dont have to be heroes right?]

but the list would have to include the holy host of all life, who sits in at every dinner

i would invite jesus and satan [ok i know satan dont egsist and stinks up the room[but i got some questions for him just the same]

id invite eistein [he has a great sense of humour ] he actually made 3 comedy movies , that wernt able to be released because the powers that be thought it would dimisish his theory

darwin would be there [he was my first god with feet of clay] he said so much good stuff his followers havnt even bothered to read

i would invite george fox [founder of the quakers]that dude had guts
pope bennadict, wrathchild, and obama

the seating will be all on gods right hand and it will be fancy dress[no black suits ,no school ties] shoes off wearing socks

the flowers will be alive and the food vegetarion with sweets [of course in heaven fruit dont ferment into alcohol so we will be drinking carbonated fruit juices

my 'servant list will include thousands ghandi ,heinlan[of stranger in a strange land fame]and quite a few other sci fi writers, oliver wendle homes, mary baker eddie, elinor roosevelt,but it aint going to happen this life anyhow[there is some clever minds on forums i have posted so many of them will share my dinner table at some time or other

how can people not see all wishes will be fullfilled in gods time

There are lots of worthy names that come to mind, and I know I'll think of others tomorrow that I could or should have put on the list.

I had trouble narrowing it down so I'm having two dinners - one global and one local.

Germaine Greer
John Pilger
Michael Moore
Peter Singer
Arundhati Roy
Noam Chomsky
Richard Dawkins
John Ralston Saul

Bob Brown
Julian Burnside
Clive Hamilton
Tim Flannery
Ian Lowe
Phillip Adams
Christine Milne
Maxine McKew

my guestlist would be...

my girlfriend
JFK
Elzabeth the First
Maria Antoinette
Oscar Wild

that's it! :)

Frank Crean, but not Simon even serving
Bob Carr no fool worth hearing always
Nelson Mandela, true greatness
Gandhi yes me too
Rudd
Obama
tomorrows list may be different

you all realise the next stage will be in visualising the individual dinner parties

this one looks interesting

Posted by daltong2005

my girlfriend
JFK
Elzabeth the First
Maria Antoinette
Oscar Wild

im not really up on oscar wild [but he loved to drink? and loved to love? ,i notice all the rest [appart from the host] are female ,that sounds an interesting party there daltong

will there be cake?

[yeah [lol] i know off with my head]

cheers [your post with the fewest guests somehow stirred more imagry [for me] than others with the more unusual guests

its been a great post
interesting [ i love germaine greer ,but lately all she talks about is boys [hey great for her ,but germnaine dont these 'boys' grow up

[ooops sorry i just realised men cant grow up]they stay 'boys' forever
but germain wernt you about womans rights [what happend]

but good on you girl ,
you taught us we all are allowed to love as we chose

love has only winners

Well most of your dinners will stink because of all the dead carcasses.

And those of you who invited a long list of lefties will have one boring night.

Also Paris Hilton would be infinately more entertaining than Germaine.
Really. Although together they may be dynamite

My List...

Don McKeller
John Doyle (aka Roy Slaven)
Noel Fielding
James Mercer
John Clarke
Sophie Marceau
Kiera knightly
Barbara (Anyone called Barbara will do)
BOAZ
COl Rouge

(To Arrive later...)
Amy Winehouse
Iggy Pop
Pete Doherty
Kate Moss
Robert Downey Jnr
Jordan
Johnny Depp

oops left jfk out
yes i too loved jfk

but he will tell us he got shot from the front[blew off the back of his head [google up the jfk autoposy photos]

one of the films shows the shooter shot him from the drain[ UNDER the grassy knowle]being persued by the cop [who drops his bike and then runs to the drain]

any how john sorry about forgetting you being at daltong2005's party
but lets talk about your signing pres order 11.110 ,about govt issueing its own money

like whitlam wanting to lend govts own money
like the latest 'victim' of the money changers [that dude that was selling obamas seat[who just happend to talk about closing the fed, befrore the fed got him busted [whats the bet he wont be found suicided[like the madam who had the dirt on the lot of them in washington recently

i noted no one invited a banker but me [rothchild][satan needs someone to relate with

cheers
this is a great party

[i had a party once at morganas forum ,run 23 pages [but it got out of hand ,and the lenghty postings got pulled down

i dont get invites to parties[i wonder why?]

Here's another dinner party guest list, just for fun,
made up of our very own Forum posters
that I think would make for an interesting
evening:

Polycarp
Pelican
Examinator
KatieO
Pericles
Romany
CJ Morgan
Celivia
Robert
Fractelle
Belly
Bronwyn
Col Rouge
Me

Again, I've gone over the limit - but it could be
arranged with two tables - with guests sitting
wherever they pleased.

cont'd

And, of course I would ask that each dinner
guest disguise their identity,
so that votes could be taken
to identify their pseudonyms after the dinner.

Foxy
I am honoured. It wouldn't be too hard to sort our who was who after discussing various issues like drugs, Henson, religion and politics but it would be fun. I also loved your earlier list - would there be time to eat in between laughing with Rowan Atkinson and Dawn French?

Bronwyn and snake
Your lists reflect you are girls/boys after my own heart.

Usual suspect
Your list is the who's who of celebrities. Doyle and Clarke would add a bit of a spark. Hope you ordered enough drink for the later arrivals.

Belly
I like your list too but I would leave out Bob Carr.

daltong2005
JFK is an interesting addition - read a book a few years ago about the Kennedys. They are a complex and interesting bunch if not more than a bit dysfunctional.

oneundergod
You have a very colourful and vivid imagination - there would be no-one bored at your dinner table.

There are some great choices here on all the lists. You can only imagine where some of the conversations would lead.

I thought of some others:

Ralph Nader
Susan George (political author)
Dean Jaensch
Cheryl Kernot
Winston Churchill
Rasputin
Lloyd George
David Marr

Yeah, I certainly would like to come along to some of these dinners - perhaps I could wait on the table? Mind you there are one or two laps I would be very tempted to drop the soup into!. And the dinner party to which I am invited would be great too...I love the idea of being incognito initially: wonder whose would be the first identity that everyone guessed?

My own dinner party includes some
people who might already be engaged for the night judging by others' guest lists:

Margaret Cavendish aka Mad Madge
Sir Thomas More
Whoopi Goldberg,
Noel Coward
Nell Gwynn
Billy Connolly
Aphra Behn
Oscar Wilde

It's ironic that the fundamentalists all include Jesus Christ. Nothing would disillusion them more than having this little brown Jewish pacifist at the table, eating with his hands and gasping in horror at their beliefs about him.

That said, my list includes:

William F. Buckley
Philip Adams
Kathy Lette
John Clarke
Caligula
Christopher Hitchens
William Kristol
Naomi Klein
Harry Flashman
Emma Tom

Sancho,

You're probably right. If Jesus was at my table, I would allow him to do the talking and I would do the listening, or ask him questions and listen to his answers.

Most Christian fundamentalists (or Pharasee Christians) would be too busy trying to correct Jesus and tell him where he is wrong.

Foxy

I'm also honoured to be on your list. I love the idea of working out who's who and have often toyed with similar scenarios myself. Unless people deliberately muddied the waters, I'd say, with an opinionated buch like that who couldn't help but air their views on any topic broached, it would take all of five minutes to determine who was who!

The trouble with any list is that there are always more names than can be included. Some more for me would be Dickie, Nicky, Yabby (and I think we'd definitely need non-breakable dinnerware with that lot together!), Ludwig, Forrest, Yvonne, davidf, and I know I'll think of many more. We would also have to track down Vanilla and GINX, don't you think?

Usual Suspect

"And those of you who invited a long list of lefties will have one boring night."

I guess it just depends on whether or not your idea of a great dinner party swings towards the ideal of an intelligent and meaningful exchange of ideas or more towards a boozy romp. I think most lefties know how to achieve the right mix of both. Somehow I doubt there'd be much intelligible conversation happening with your group by the end of the evening, especially once your later guests had settled in! But from what I've gleaned of you through your posting, I'd say you'd be fitting right in and having one hell of a time.

Dear Bronwyn,

Yes, I'd love to include:

Vanilla
Ginxy
Davidf
Forrest
Yabby
Nicky
David Nichols
Yvonne
Steven L. Meyer
Oly (of course)...

And many more ... but I'd better stop here for now.

Foxy,

You would be excellent in a group. You're a regular poster and I've never heard you say a bad word to anyone. You've been given a very special gift and you use it well.

Good one Pelican,

Kofi Annan
Maxine McKew
Barack Obama
Ayatollah Ali Khanenei
Cardinal George Pell
Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso
Angela Merkel
Stephen Hawking

Good for starters, even better if a few OLO'ers crashed the party.

I missed out Kate Winslet to compliment Kiera and Sophie.

Don't any of you know it's rude to talk about politics or religion at the dinner table?

I'm amazed at some of the dry boring people that others want to invite. I mean imagine listening to Chomsky and Pilger all night, they'd send me to sleep! I've read a lot of their work and my values are left of centre but seriously what are they gonna add to a dinner party. It's a dinner party not a Twenty20 summit. I sense some people take life way too seriously, or are after some sort of Kudos for being an intellectual by reflection. Actually, I now proudly invite Paris Hilton!

I did think of inviting 'The Rodent' over to a BBQ, and see if he could stop it with one of his BBQ stoppers.

usual subject
we voted to join your table

ours had too much testosterone

satan rushed off in a huff [and jesus said he had to rush off he left mumbling so many parties , so many parties ,and they all just want to hold my hands and keep poking me in the ribs]

ok im going too far [theses are real people to me]
satan has been isssjudged [so he says] he asked eve did god forbid you] he said adam could have forgiven eve-r [three ways] he was her father [his rib] he was her brother ,

the brother too can forgive a sister a foolishness[same dna ,except god repared the 'Y' chromosone [put in two 'x's ,not the mark 1 'Xy']
anyhow im a bit tired[so going to have a long lay down]

this note just to let you know there comming
[oh stan [satan] is back ,
he loves to be called stan[so if stan comes you know ]

ps
darwin is driving you know he drives so slow [allways looking for that latest update god sends us occasionally][he said the missing links in his finches is astounding ,but he hasnt found the missing links that suposedly join the tree together ,claims it may end up being a spagetti tree[gave him a big laugh that did] but i couldnt see the joke[eistein got it straight away]

what was that lord
oh ok

see ya
johan9

US
Precisely ... that's why we need gate crashers.

i would have an evening of absolute laughter and the dinner would be informal, with lots of booze.

My guests:-

Bill Cosby
Pam Ayers
Benny Hill
Norman Wisdom
Dave Allen
Rodney Carington
Dick Emery
Max Miller
As you can see, I enjoy a good time and lots of laughter.

Dear Pelican,

I'm glad that you liked my lists - but it's you
I've got to Thank for starting this entertaining
thread.

Dear Romany,

I don't think it would take too long for us to work
out who's who.

Dear Bronwyn,

I could keep going with more lists of OLO posters -
but I think that I've used up my posts for now.

Perhaps I'll try again tomorrow.

Dear Steel Mann,

Thank You for your kind words.
And for paying me such a high compliment.
As some one once said,

"Kind words can be short and easy
to speak,
But their echoes are truly endless."

In the same meme;

Joe Cocker
Andrei Bocelli
Haley Westenra
Freddy Mercury
Andrew Lloyd Webber
Michael Hutchence
Eric Clapton
Bette Midler

And of course, Jimmi Hendix's "Foxy" lady

Cool topic,

I'd have:

1-Sir Winston Churchill (the only person to save the world, sorry lads it was Winnie not Jesus)

2-Rembrandt van Rijin (the greatest painter of all time)

3-Mark Rothko (the other greatest painter of all time)

4-Neil Young (He has swapped political POVs a few times and I think that is a sign of utter sincerity and I doubt Rokey Erickson from The 13th Floor Elevators would like my guests. )

5-Peter Costello ( To try and get him to lead the Libs )

6-George Bush
6a-Toney Blair
7-John Howard

8-Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Somalian feminist and freedom fighter)

9-A passenger from the second plane into the World Trade center. (I would like to hear what they have to say about it)

10-Frederick Nietzsche ( to warn him about the Existentialists and quiz him about eternal recurrence)

Sheesh, on a night like this, I would say hang the expense and
book the entire restaurant for the night :)

I would then set up various tables.

At the "Understanding Life" table, we'd probably have
Darwin, Dawkins and Attenborough. We'd also include
Goodall, Louis Leakey and Frans de Waal, for their knowledge
about our cousins, the rest of the primate family. They
are more like us then you guys would ever think, but
then an interest in primatology is not so common.

The economics table would include Buffett, Robert Holmes a Court
Richard Branson and perhaps Gail Kelly. All unconventional
thinkers, with a proven track record of results.

There would be a small political table, to add to the colour
of the night. Keating, McKew and Obama should add a bit
of atmosphere :)

Then of course a comedy table. Billy Connely, Rowan Atkinson,
Paul Hogan would blend in on that table. Dave Allen would
tell the jokes.

Paris Hilton would be the stripper for the night, which would
amuse the comedy table for hours.

In the corner would also be the OLO table, with all welcome
who want to join in, except for the religious farts, as the
atmosphere would be all wrong and they would feel out of place.

Dickie would also be excluded, as with her admission to wanting
to kick people in the groin, her best place, along with George
Pell, would be washing all the dishes :)

Not vindictiveness just my liking for a laugh another table
John Howard
next to him Costello
next Turnbull
next to Bush
Dr Nelson
Me wearing my your rights at work shirt and a silly big grin all night.

Bugsy “Actually Col, I referring to Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton, the Englishman.”

My error, apologies : - )

Usual suspect… hey you honour me… and I would graciously accept

thankyou so much…

We see far too little of you here… good to see you posting again : - )

Likewise. Foxy, expect me …. And for you… I will be in dinner suit and black tie … I trust you can persuade the gals to dress up too… (ah I do so enjoy ‘formals’)


Banjo's crew would be a riot…. Although they might try to out-shine one another…

Max Miller would be great…Banjo do you recall the joke he was apparently kicked off the BBC for… concerned a spiral stair case… a great after–dinner yarn.

Yabby “book the entire restaurant for the night”

I usually agree with Yabby but on this occasion I will defer.

Having seen a few of the names you folk have suggested, from sweet Paris Hilton to Joe Cocker and John Winston add Michael Palin too….…but the idea of a restaurant bash would miss out on one thing.

I want to engage with my guests, get to listen to them, be enriched and savor their individuality, I am afraid with too many in a room at once, I would miss out on that.

So for me, not a bigger bash but a lot of smaller groups, over a longer period of time….

Col,
I googled Max Miller recently and there a club, or similar, in UK to recognize him and there are some CDs available. What i like about the old vaudville comics is that you can listen to them many time and still pick up jokes you missed earlier. Max left a lot to your own imagination then went crook on the audience for their dirty minds.

Apparently he was banned from the BBC 5 or 6 times. I have not heard the spiral staircase. But heres a little sample of his 'poetry'

I seek the perfect woman
A man could ask no more
Than she be young and fresh and over sexed
And own a liquor store

Pelican kudos for a successful and interesting thread.

Foxy

Thank you for your gracious invite - although I wonder how soon it would be "20 paces at dawn" between Col and CJ - Col being a self proclaimed alpha-male an' all. My money is on CJ - yeah I know I've been controversial but I just can't get my head around the thought of CR and CJ at the same table. On reflection your calm and reasonable disposition would smooth the roughest tempest.

On to my alternative list:

Leonard Cohen
Neil Young
Nick Cave
Kurt Cobain
John Lennon
Tom Waits
Patti Smith
PJ Harvey
Aretha Franklin
Nina Simone
Cat Power
Kate Bush

I'd better stop before I go blind.

God
Allah
Buddha
Krishna
Tony Mokbel
Bridget
Holly
Kendra

A very insightful topic, pelican.

My list has no particular order of preference and all the people did or do exist. Couldn’t get the guest list under 12 including me. As this dinner would happen only once, we could call it the last supper.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Bertrand Russell

Gloria Steinem

Karl Marx

Hypatia

Peter Singer

Taslima Nasrin

Charles Darwin

Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Thomas Paine

And Foxy to moderate any disputes (Which there would be many)

David

Hmm, interesting choices. Reading through them I was imagining each dinner and what they each person would bring to the table (sorry, couldn't resist).

To me, the ideal dinner conversation would be enlightening, amusing and challenging. A bit of friendly biffo's always good too.

To that end, I'd nominate the following:

1. John Cleese
2. Billy Connolly.

These two would provide humorous albeit intelligent reactions, and keep the conversation flowing. Hell, I think they could probably feed off each other's reactions quite well.

3. Barack Obama.
4. Ayman Al Zawahiri.
5. Jesus Christ.

For the necessary political and philosophical discourse. I didn't choose Bin Laden for the simple fact that I've always viewed him as more of a financier and figurehead for the movement, while Zawahiri was the wellspring for the extremist ideology. Obama's at the helm now, so of course, I'd like to pick his brains.

6. Sheryl Crow.
7. Nick Cave.

I dig their music, and they've always struck me as intelligent, creative individuals. I think they'd provide new ways of looking at the topics at hand (Plus, I've always had a thing for Sheryl Crow. No guesses as to who I'd seat myself next to).

8. Ronald Reagan.

To keep the debate flowing - I thought about having Bush, or Howard, or another conservative representative, but I reckon Reagan's been more influential.

If I had more space, I'd add Donald Rumsfeld, Madonna, Marilyn Manson and Stephen King.

Damnit! Marx would NEED to be there too. Perhaps I could bump Mr Cleese if I absolutely had to.

fractelle "but I just can't get my head around the thought of CR and CJ at the same table"

It would not be difficult, we would not need to be in contact with one another, we would not even see each other....

I would be sat at he table and

CJ would be licking himself underneath it....

CJ and Col would probably get on okay in real life where face to face debate has the benefit of body language, tone etc. We all have friends who disagree but most often people tend to find some common area of interest at these sorts of occasions.

I would imagine debate would probably be tinged with more of an air of polite confrontation (is that an oxymoron?) than what we sometimes witness on OLO.

I have faith that CJ and Col and many of the other members who might not always agree would do alright together given some good food and nice wine. And there would be no posting limits.

What a great thread.

Thanks Pelly. This is so much fun.
And the range of guests is interesting...

Pure fantasy, with the luxury of choice
we can go where we want in our minds...

I can see myself throwing caution to the winds
and dressing in unashamed couture to match
Col's black tie and tux.

Dior couture, a
Valentino ballgown, investing in the ultimate
accessory: a witty velvet slipper, designer
fragrance, a slip of silk, small exquisite
pieces that are the lynch pins of style and can
change my mood, my look...

AAh...Belly, in his 'Your rights at Work T-shirt'
What a hoot.

Banjo, I loved your "Perfect Woman," poem.
Do I qualify?
Well, I can match three out of
four. That's not bad.

Fractelle and David Nicholls - Thanks for my role
as 'Peace Maker,' although I may change my persona
for this particular evening and be "naughty."
(But nice).

See what you've started Pelly...
Luverly...

I've been following this thread with interest, but I haven't participated because I generally loathe dinner parties with strangers. I used to get dragged along to them frequently by my ex-wife, and I'd usually either sit and get quietly half-drunk or upset some pretentious idiot who insisted on holding forth bombasticslly to the captive audience - and in either case I'd be in trouble afterwards.

A convivial meal with friends and family is another thing altogether, and I generally enjoy those immensely. Frankly, if I don't think a night out is going to be pleasant and fun, I'd rather stay home.

Which is why - fascinating though the prospect might be from an entomological perspective - I would most definitely decline an invitation to any kind of small and intimate gathering to which a horrible, self-opinionated creep like Col Rouge was also invited.

Mind you, I have no doubt that he's much milder when deprived of the coward's cloak of anonymity. If he made a comment like his last one to me personally, he'd be wearing his dinner rather than a black tie.

Now, now CJ. You know as well as I do that Col would be so inarticulate and out of his depth that he wouldn't get a word in - couldn't hold two thoughts together in above-average intelligent company.

(Now watch him cry foul -ad hominem).

Dear CJ,

I'd be most disappointed if you weren't there.

I also think that you'd enjoy yourself
immensely.

There would be enough variety there for you
not to get bored. And we haven't even mentioned
the food and wine yet. I pride myself on my
dinner parties - everything's in the detail.
I'm an excellent chef ( I love to cook,
having been taught
by two legendary grandmothers). And my hostessing
skills are second to none - I always manage to
find the right mix of people.

I personally, would see to it that you,( and
everyone else), would enjoy the evening.

So have a re-think on your decision.
I guarantee, you wouldn't regret it.

CJ

"I've been following this thread with interest, but I haven't participated because I generally loathe dinner parties with strangers."

I'd noticed your non-attendance!

"A convivial meal with friends and family is another thing altogether, and I generally enjoy those immensely. Frankly, if I don't think a night out is going to be pleasant and fun, I'd rather stay home."

A man after my own heart, I know exactly how you feel. I'm sure though that Foxy's invite would be worth dragging ourselves out for!

"Mind you, I have no doubt that he's much milder when deprived of the coward's cloak of anonymity. If he made a comment like his last one to me personally, he'd be wearing his dinner rather than a black tie."

See! Just think of the entertainment you'd be providing the rest of us! Who amongst us hasn't fantasized at some time or other about Col Rouge getting his comeuppance in spectacularly humiliating fashion.

You've definitely got to be there, CJ. It might be less than 'pleasant' in parts, for some at least, but I'm sure it will be great fun.

Where's Forrest, the great weaver of virtual stories?

OK women - you've convinced me. I'll be there.

Just make sure the tucker's good and there's plenty Shiraz (and single malt for afters).

:)

Apologies to Bronwyn for the :)

:P

Apology accepted, CJ. LOL

Yes, I'd be disgusted with myself too if I was you. Fancy slipping up on something so important. And don't think a glass or three of Shiraz is any excuse!

Regarding this "coward's cloak of anonymity",

the advantage CJ has over myself, when looking "Morgan" up in the telephone directory, one finds a cast of thousands of "Morgan".

If you look up mine name, you see me and some immediate relatives.

All claims to "anonymity" by CJ is of the crass hypocrisy which attends his posts.

Because, regardless of log-on, real name or non-de-plume, CJ's "cowardly cloak" is a matter which was "certified" on the occassion of his birth.


Bronwyn "Who amongst us hasn't fantasized at some time or other about Col Rouge getting his comeuppance in spectacularly humiliating fashion. "



Nothing like a good "Comeuppance" to round off the evening...

Although, I doubt it would ever be mine....

With CJ's rough-house rhetoric, threats to throw dinners at people and school yard spirit,


Well before my "Comeuppance", we would likely hear the words of one much sought guest, Mr Oscar Wilde, duly admonishing CJ with...

“I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.”


My personal wish would be, of course, as pelican has anticipated, for the humour and goodwill of the grown ups to prevail.

This "Comeuppance" business is a fickle thing.....

"My personal wish would be, of course, as pelican has anticipated, for the humour and goodwill of the grown ups to prevail.

This "Comeuppance" business is a fickle thing....."

Well spoken, Col. I agree entirely, comeuppance can be a fickle thing and has no doubt ruined many an evening, not to mention many a good OLO discussion.

Humour and goodwill shall prevail. All I ask is that you refrain from dropping Maggie's name too often! Once or twice would be okay. Afterall I know she means a lot to you.

Look forward to seeing you there!

Spikey: << You know as well as I do that Col would be so inarticulate and out of his depth that he wouldn't get a word in - couldn't hold two thoughts together in above-average intelligent company. >>

In his last comment Col proves you right, by curiously misapplying Wilde's words. His inevitable and typical recourse to childish insult is of course due to the fact that he can't deal with "brute reason", and I imagine that he wishes dearly that someone of Wilde's intellectual calibre would "admonish" those of us who - apparently unfairly - use it in argument with him.

Somehow I don't think that his inference to be able to "stand brute force" instead would be borne out, were he to end up being festooned with his main course in response to the kinds of waspish, puerile insults that he likes to dish out from behind his coward's cloak.

I am absolutely delighted that
you've changed your mind CJ.

Don't worry, I've got a very
fine wine cellar, that I know won't
disappoint.
We shall all enjoy the evening.

It should be an interesting one.

Bronwyn "Humour and goodwill shall prevail. "

absolutely agree, although, it would seem, from his last post, such aspirations are going right over CJ's head, as it (his head that is) disappears into a deeper and deeper hole which he is digging for himself...

side bets anyone on how long before he reaches China?

I have been having all sorts of difficulty with my list. However I refine it, it looks as if it would be a preponderantly male list, making for social imbalance in a conventional dinner party context. I would resolve the imbalance of the sexes by inviting a number of female OLO posters who I thought might find in at least one of my guests an interesting conversational partner. It was flattering of Bronwyn to notice my absence from the thread: it is just that for a while there I was virtually stumped for the right storey. I have found it now.

The Guest List:

C.G.E. Mannerheim
Quentin Bryce
Mark Shuttleworth
Fractelle
David Yallop
Sylvia Else
Winston Groom
Bronwyn
James Clavell
Foxy

The Venue:

The Sydney CBD penthouse of the principal of Intrastate Energy Marketing Management Associates, Forrest Gumpp.
Level 99, The Borg Tower, 7-9 Hubris Pl (a private street, off Gas Lane).

The Seating:

Two successive round tables with seating unallocated, one for the dinner, one for the coffee, cheese and port. Different views, seating arrangements can informally change smoothly on the move from one to the other.

The Menu:

Soup - Thai Carrot and Coconut, served chilled, accompanied by a Chateau Tahbilk Marsanne (Victoria)

Entre - Yabbies in Pernod, served on a bed of rice with a salad of beetroot leaves, red onion, semi-dried tomatoes, and rocket, accompanied by a choice of Babich Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc (Shebangabang) or Yering Station Pinot Noir (Victoria)

Main Course - Kangaroo Mini-Roast with Black Pepper, Carrot, and Celery sauce, served with baked Rosemary Potatoes and Minted Green Peas, accompanied by a Bendigo Waterwheel Vineyard Shiraz (Victoria)

Assorted cheeses accompanied by various Rutherglen Ports and Licquer Muscats, coffee. No dessert!

Forrest Gumpp,

Nice sentiments; but what will the vegetarians eat?

Spikey (and others)

Sorry (can't help it) ... there is no such thing as global warming!
Meat eaters only are invited to dinner parties.
Corollary: Vegetarians won't have to worry about increased fruit & vege prices.

I promise not to talk shop if you invite me too.

Spikey,

13 out of the 15 ingredients listed, or let them eat cake!

Hey, gimme a break. You were high on the list for an invite yourself. Your little non-sequitur here: http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?article=8189#128141 I found tremendously disappointing; it tipped the balance against you. I can't believe you don't understand about vertical integration. A cheap shot. Way beneath your usual acuity.

But if you can be happy with 13/15ths of the tucker on offer, you are most welcome to crash the party. Just introduce yourself to Reba in the sub-basement lift lobby, and, provided you can put up with 'Windmills of your mind', you will rocket up in the external lift to join the carnivores.

Just as a matter of interest, who of the guests is of most interest to you, and why?

*Entre - Yabbies in Pernod, served on a bed of rice with a salad of beetroot leaves, red onion, semi-dried tomatoes, and rocket,*

Sheesh, I dunno about the guests, but at least the man knows about
tasty food :)

Thank you, Forrest, I feel most privileged!

I can see your dinner plans are well under control. You obviously pay the same careful attention to detail as a host that you do as a writer!

With Foxy's permission, I’d like to give her OLO dinner party a little kick-along.

Her kind invitation is yet to be taken up by all. So far, Pelican, Romany, Fractelle. Col, CJ and I have accepted, which along with Foxy accounts for half the places at the table.

The others may not know they’ve been invited. If we can’t alert them and they miss the RSVP date, perhaps their places might be filled by other OLO volunteers or nominees.

But this is Foxy’s night and I don’t want to interfere with her arrangements. Her hosting skills are after all in her own words second to none. And I for one don’t doubt that for a moment, having witnessed her unique talent at creating harmony amongst even the most difficult of OLOers!

I will leave it up to Foxy to set the scene and get the ball rolling. But personally, I think this night has the potential for some wonderfully creative and imaginative story telling. Past experience on other threads has clearly demonstrated that we have some very talented writers amongst us who could really give this virtual dinner party a life of its own!

I propose, with Foxy’s approval, that we all get involved as we feel inspired and add a paragraph or a chapter to the story of the evening as it unfolds.

The wise words of Pelican and Col would need to be heeded - plenty of humour and goodwill, and no ‘comeuppance’, well at least nothing too nasty!

Lots to be done - menus, drinks, seating, music, entertainment, atmospherics, and much more I’m sure. Feel free to delegate, won’t you, Foxy.

It’s over to you!

My apologies for a late response, Foxy.

I had skimmed the thread a little too quickly before Bronwyn just now prompted me to check it again. I was focussing upon the extra-OLO invitees on different posters' lists.

Yes, I would be virtually pleased to attend as per your kind invitation extended in your post of Thursday, 11 December 2008 1:20:12 PM, the 35th in the thread.

Q&A

"Meat eaters only are invited to dinner parties."

That means you and your other guests miss out on about a third of the world's most interesting people, including Hitler, Ghandi, Socrates, Plato, Bertrand Russell, GB Shaw, John Cleese, Charlotte Bronte, Franz Kafka, Leo Tolstoy, Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Albert Schweitzer, Brad Pitt, Clint Eastwood, Dustin Hoffmann, Charles Darwin, Peter Singer, the Dalai Lama, Confucius, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci,

Forrest Gumpp,

"So vegetarians can eat 13 out of the 15 ingredients listed, or let them eat cake!"

And when Hitler visited him for his 75th birthday in Finland what did Mannerheim give Hitler to eat?

As for your dinner party list, I like the gender balance and the mix of OLO thinkers with international guests. GG Bryce as ex-Commissioner for Human Rights might raise the topic of vego-discrimination.

However, I think your list a bit top heavy with writers. Despite your obvious vested interest in an alter ego, I'd eliminate Winston Groom and balance Mark Shuttleworth with the late inclusion of Steve Jobs. Mind you, as host you'd have to work mighty hard to keep those egos under control.

Good luck. I never go to parties unless the host is prepared to go out of their way to cater for vegetarians.

Spikey,

Thank you for your response as to which of my guests you found most interesting. I have to infer that it was C.G.E. Mannerheim, although any inference that he was a dictator would be misleading. Such an inference could perhaps be drawn, or guilt by association projected, as a consequence of the way you phrased your question "And when Hitler visited him for his 75th birthday in Finland what did Mannerheim give Hitler to eat?". The omission of just one word and two commas between 'him' and 'for' does the damage. That word was ", uninvited,".

I am honoured that you think I may be able to fill the apparent gap in your seemingly encyclopaedic knowledge of the guest that tops your list, Adolph Hitler (may Godwin forgive), as to what Mannerheim gave him to eat. The authoritative answer is "nothing": Mannerheim was not the host, President Ryti held that distinction, on that secret occasion at the railway siding near Immola. There was a meal served, and as to what Hitler ate, I suggest it was stuffed smoked mushrooms. The Finns are good at keeping things in the dark, and feeding them on bullsh!t. That would have made Hitler a mushroom person. He was certainly eventually Immolated.

Why do I think the mushrooms were smoked? This link explains: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Gustaf_Emil_Mannerheim . Scroll half way down the page, and read the section headed 'Visit by Adolf Hitler'.

I know this is a bit wikied of me, Spikey, but I have to observe that you didn't tell me WHY you found Mannerheim to be my most interesting guest. Is it because of the opportunity ..... No. That would be a cheap shot. You find dictators interesting. That's OK.

Rest assured, had you been invited, and I had known your dietary preferences (which I probably would have if I had gone through your posting history), I certainly would have gone out of my way to unobtrusively accommodate them. Not out of any sense of guilt or obligation, mind you. Just for fun.

Spikey - I do commiserate with you regarding the placement of vegetarian needs at the top of any menu planning. Well sort of...

Forrest

The menu and the venue sounds sensational. Now what to wear?

This? http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2169/1548606248_2e803bd0a5.jpg?v=0

or maybe I should just be prepared for anything? http://images.forbiddenplanet.com/image/detail/1570458.jpg

Forrest Gumpp

Re my apparent liking for dictators (into which category I certainly wouldn't put Mannerheim) you and some others have failed to see that my tongue (or lettuce leaf) is firmly in my cheek.

What I had in mind was bringing on the Grand Inquisitor to find out whatever possessed them to behave against humanity as they did.

Then I had in mind that Lucretia Borgia - as an expert in poisons - would be asked to do a party trick. Not that I believe in being able to turn the clock back.

Fractelle

Both outfits are sensational. I have a leaning towards the second one. Vegos are like that!

Dear Bronwyn,

Mine will be a Russian-themed formal dinner party.
It will begin
with "zakuska," an array of "small bites"
accompanied by vodka, set out in advance on a round
table in the reception room. The table will be placed so
that guests can circle it comfortably while sampling
the scores of dishes.

The dishes featured will be, a platter of
sturgeon in aspic, flanked by pots of red and black
caviar. Dominating the center of the table will be
a chicken-based, "salat Olivier," a "pashtet" (pate)
of liver, and a plate of picked herring - and the silver
casserole of kidneys in Madeira sauce, next to it -
Bef Stroganov strewn with crisp straw potatoes providing
hot dishes. Ranged around these major dishes will be a
variety of appetite-teasers: three kinds of bread, a
bowl of fruit, pickles and pickled mushrooms, and of-
course a full assortment of vodkas.

After an hour, the guests will be summoned to
the flower-banked dining room and take their places around
an enormous, elaborately decorated table.

Its customary to have a centerpiece of fruits, flanked
by cake stands, candelabra, sculpured figures, all in
gold and silver.

Dinner will begin with soup - chicken consomme
with tiny dumplings or red bouillon with quenelles.
'Pirozhki' and 'pychki' accompany the soups. Both have
fillings appropriate to the soup they accompany - minced
meat, mushrooms, et cetera.

There is always a fish dish, possibly a sturgeon
cooked in a rich creamy tomato sauce or a crayfish
souffle. I may include a Lobster Parfait. Followed by
Chicken Kiev, Filet Mignon with Bernaise Sauce.

The vegetables
will be succulent all-white asparagus, tiny peas, cucumbers
braised in dill butter, or leeks in parsley sauce, they will
be served as a separate course.

Elaborate desserts follow dinner. Cream
flavoured with strawberries or raspberries; an Apple
Charlotte. And Napoleon "Torte."

Of course sherry, Madeira and port will be offered after the
soup, a selection of white wines with fish, red wines with
meat, and cognac, Malaga, Muscat, with dessert. And, for those
that want it, champagne will be served with every course.

cont'd ...

Two or three hours after the dinner
"Vecherny Tchai," or evening tea,
cold cuts, cheeses, small cakes, and
candied fruits will be brought into the
drawing room, and these will be served
with boiling tea from a samovar.

As for entertainment? That will be
provided by the good conversation of
the guests.

'Na zdorovie!"
(To Your Health.)

To Everyone who invited me to their dinner
party - I accept with great pleasure.

To you Dear Forrest,

You dinner party sounds sensational.
I am looking forward to discussing further
with David Yallop, his book, 'In God's
Name.' It made such an impact on me in the
1980s.

Foxy! Foxy!

Even you...of all the sensitive souls. With your menu I'd be reduced to vodka, sherry, Madeira, port, white and red wines, cognac, Malaga, Muscat and champagne.

Oh I suppose if I can still see I could have some bread, fruit and pickled mushrooms. Some kind soul might allow me a plate of your entree vegetables. And, after everyone else has had dinner, if someone were kind enough to prop me up, I could manage an Apple Charlotte.

I'd probably be giving the samovar a wide berth at this stage since my inner being will be splashing about.

I must warn you, experience tells me after a night of drinking while watching other people tuck into a feast like the one you plan, I tend not to take too much notice of the good conversation of the guests. I prefer to sing loud and often, though my repertoire has been unreasonably called limited.

Na zdorovie to you too.

Thank goodness for SBS's annual screening of "Dinner for One".

Dear Spikey,

Especially for you, I will see to it that
there will be plenty of 'bliny,' (buckwheat
pancakes) and caviar. Then you will be
served the classic 'kulebiaka,' a flaky
salmon loaf or if you prefer there will
also be one made with a cabbage filling.

There will be 'Borshch '(Beet soup), there will
be 'pelmeni' (Russian dumplings filled with
cheese and spinach). Also known as 'Vareniki.'

And that's not counting all the breads, cakes,
and desserts. You will be catered for.

Just come along, and enjoy!

Fractelle,

Re dress, if you are asking me, I'd have to say that unless Ian Fleming were to have been on my list, your first choice was most appropriate. (But hey, who cares about propriety; does it really express yourself?) You might not even reach the basement lift lobby before you ran into trouble with Security if you were to wear the second outfit. Mind you, the latter would be far more practical should there be any occasion to use the emergency base jumping escape kit in the case of a lift failure, but we don't want to even think about that eventuality. Are they celtic motifs in your first choice?

Spikey,

How would Water Chestnuts in Pernod substitute for the yabbies? And Spaghetti Napolitana (tomato, basil, onion, garlic, bay leaf) for the macropod dish? In no way does it compare with the brassic coulibiac that Foxy has on offer in due course, but it should still fit in with the wine list. Je ne suis pas un sommelier, mais peut-etre...? 15/15?

I am quite happy to relegate Winston Groom, in the light of your observation as to the top-heaviness of my guest list with authors, but not in favour of Steve Jobs. How about Hugo Eckener? Lead Zeppelin, and could have been Chancellor, pre-empting Herr Schickelgruber, if only he had put his hand up! Lighter-than-air; the hydrogen economy, and all that. Perhaps a bit of an old gas-bag, but all things old are new again.

Do come. Prick some bubbles. Foil some pricks.

Foxy,

Delighted you are looking forward to meeting David Yallop. I was seriously considering inviting Albino Luciani, but on reflection thought that might have been ...... awkward. Sometimes the victims of foul deeds are just too trusting in the good intentions of those around them, and muzzle their vindicators.

Bronwyn,

Apropos previous discussions re OLO features, Fractelle seems to have found a good workaround for the absence of an image feature. Interested in seeing your choice of outfit in due course, bandwidth permitting.

Pelican,

Thanks. A phun thread.

Great fun, Pelican!

Foxy I'm delighted to have been invited to your party, I hope the party ain't over yet, I only noticed this thread this morning.
Should I wear something naughty or something nice?

Well I'm trying to keep my hands off the guests already invited by others.
Not that I'm into mental torture or anythin' but I thought of inviting:

Bill Henson

Sheik el-Hilali

Mother Theresa

Christopher Hitchens

Lucille Ball

The Blues Brothers

Plato- 'coz I want to hand you all a copy of the dialogues he jots down at this table.

Foxy,

You're a gem. I'll come, thank you. But I have to tell you caviar might not be acceptable, being the roe of fish. I had it once while flying in a Russian airliner from Moscow to Leningrad and felt sick, although my companion asserted it was the fumes leaking into the cabin. The salmon loaf might not get touched either, but the cabbage might do the trick.

I'll take my fill of the 'Borshch and the Vareniki and of course I should not overlook the cakes and desserts. Plenty to soak up all that liquid refreshment.

Forrest Gumpp,

If Fractelle wore the first dress, Security would be sufficiently distracted that I could sneak in unnoticed in her second choice.

I would find Water Chestnuts in Pernod a more than adequate substitute for the yabbies. But I'll pass on the Spaghetti Napolitana - every time I go to a restaurant that is not interested in vegetarians (one-third of their potential customers) the chef suggests pasta or risotto. I pre-empt those choices now and send a message to the chef that I expect him/her to rise to the challenge. That has a dramatic impact on the smuggery.

Incidentally, let anyone mistake me for a spoilsport, I'm more than delighted to run through your wine list. People think I'm quite a lass when I've had a tipple. I prefer to say that Je suis un grand sommelier, et j'aime le grand marnier aussi.

I'm quite happy with your amended guest list. I understand Hugo Eckener was not a fan of Hitler and Nazism in general, so he might be enlightening, though inviting Led Zeppelin to the same table could produce some initial confusion (and some bad music).

Given the voluptuous menus on offer by both Foxy and Forrest, I shall have to reconsider my outfit. To eat in full any and all delicacies.

I have decided to compromise on clothing, my need for total freedom winning out; Blood red tent dress (celtic motif), just long enough to conceal strap-on weaponry of choice (Smith & Wesson snub-nose .38) and I never leave home without my grappling suspenders (great for stockings and scaling walls).

Shoes also must be a pragmatic but nonetheless glamourous choice: http://www.fashionchicks.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/chloeredstudboots.gif

I think Ian Fleming would approve.

I always like to bring a gift; would a bottle of absinthe be acceptable? http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=8tWyDxiOz70

Could be a relaxing way to end the evening.

Fractelle,

Now about red shoes and red dresses. When I was a young thing in Teacher's College they taught us not to wear shiny red shoes. Since we were naive, their reflective qualities had to be pointed out to us, of course.

Indeed later, the colour red was decidedly iffy because, we were warned, it inflamed men's base passions. And I know it to be true. I wear red a lot and it works every time.

As for your gift, a bottle of absinthe would be totally acceptable. As they say, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Spikey you sound like a girl after my own heart, figuratively speaking (?).

I was taught that shiny black patent leather shoes gave the game away. I selected soft red suede boots to aid in concealing MY weapons.

My back-up alternative list:

Daria - Fave Cartoon character
Henry Rollins - if Foxy can't keep the peace Henry will.
Richard E Grant - intelligent and sexy
Father Bob Maguire (my fave Catholic)
Tim Robbins - as for Richard E
Christina Hendricks - she's hot
Jeff Buckley - he was hot
Heath Ledger - so was he
Sharon Stone - she still is

Enough. Time for cold shower.

Foxy “As for entertainment? That will be
provided by the good conversation of
the guests.….”

I am tempted to provide an entertainment, more than just conversational.

To my shame and disappointment, I cannot play any musical instruments,

Similarly, my singing voice would only be to your shame and disappointment.

I might be tempted to recite some of the prose of Max Miller, who Banjo alluded to previously but it would make all you ladies blush and risk ‘swooning’ with embarrassment,

So, I will, with your help, recite

“There's a one-eyed yellow idol
To the north of Kathmandu . . . . . “
(http://ingeb.org/songs/theresae.html for all the words)

Foxy (unless another lady wishes to volunteer) will, as tradition records it, stand behind me and provide the required dramatic hand movements which essentially accompany this recital.

Hopefully, the above will inspire others to similar acts (of gravitas). . . .

Well, Foxy, what can I say! Here was I wondering whether or not I should be pushing you any further with this dinner party idea, what with Christmas coming up and all and no doubt occupying a deal of your time, but I needn’t have worried. In your truly inimitable style you have made it all look so easy, not to mention deliciously sumptuous!

I just hope there’s at least a week or two between your Russian feast and Forrest’s amazing Penthouse spread (yes, not a good choice of words I know!), or the poor old waistline might never recover!

Ah Forrest, yes, finding that dress. I’ve been ‘shopping’, but no luck yet. I’m looking for something Russian, something with some ‘wow’ factor and now, as reminded by Fractelle, something with waist expansion capability. Not a lot on the market meeting all three requirements, but I’ll keep looking and keep you posted.

We know what Col’s wearing, so how about you, CJ?

And you too Forrest? I don't want to preempt Foxy, but I'm pretty sure you'll have a place at one of those tables. Or do you prefer to be the neutral observer - maybe the doorman, the waiter, or the fly-on-the-wall, where you can truly get to the bottom of who's behind what and who said what to whom, etc, etc?

Stumbled across this while out ‘shopping’ for myself.

http://inventorspot.com/articles/russian_bulletproof_attire_formal_wear_in_the_works_17464

With at least one guest planning on concealing weapons, it could be a sensible precautionary, if not a particularly fashionable, choice, especially for the more hotheaded of the males amongst us!

Great to see that Celivia has finally received her invitation!

The gender balance is starting to look a bit sad though. Do we hunt down Poly and the other male OLOers that Foxy invited? Or, girls, do we look for suitable male replacements by trawling through some of those other guest lists?

This has been the most fun I've had in
cyber space.

Thank You Pelly for this thread.

However, sadly I shall have to say Farewell, until
next year - as family commitments are calling...

Thanks to everyone who responded to my invitation.
Especially to Bronwyn for encouraging me.
Don't worry about any male shortages - it's all
sorted.

This is only the beginning. I have so many other ideas
for dinner parties, apart from 'Dining In Old Russia.'

There's - 'A Mountain Meal With Ludwig of Bavaria.'
'Saint Nicholas Eve Party.' 'Mustafa Effendi's Harem
Dinner.' 'Smorgasbord In The Land Of The Midnight Sun.'
'Confucius Eight Delicacies.' 'A Four Boy Currin Tiffin.'
and, 'A London Society Ball Supper.'

Just to name a few.

For now however, I would like to wish you all,
a Safe, Happy, and Gastronomically satisfying
Festive Season.

See you again in 2009.

All The Best,

Goodness, we have gone from virtual guest lists to virtual dinners. There are some mouth watering menus from some very gastronomically creative OLOers. I think GrahamY would have to be there too as the OLO representative.

Forrest your menu sounds wonderful - save me a doggy bag. Foxy, Bronwyn, Fractelle and Celivia are really getting into the mood of the evening. I can't decided between a black cocktail dress with just a hint of decolletage or a toga style cream dress with highwaisted gold banding with off the shoulder straps.

I can just see it now.

Foxy looking delectable, greeting guests warmly at the door and making them feel as welcome as old friends. The guests all slightly shy at first (we are strangers afterall) tentatively shaking hands, smiling and exchanging polite pleasantries. All of us wondering who it is we are talking to.

A window is open nearby and a soft breeze can be felt at the table. The candlelight flickers, almost unnoticeably, as the guests take their seats. Foxy has outdone herself with individualised name plaques amid a colourful fruit and flower arrangement. There are gold trimmed napkins and silver cutlery laid out on a white tablecloth scattered with gold fairy dust.

To be continued...(by anyone who feels compelled as my storytelling skills are limited)

I should stop being such a stick-in-the-mud - I have to say that I actually quite enjoyed Col's last post. It wouldn't surprise me at all that he's quite charming and droll in a black tie at a dinner party. And I imagine that we'd probably each enjoy trading polite barbs across the table.

As to dress, I have to confess that I'm a kinda Hawaiian shirt guy in summer, and jeans and boots in winter. Depending on the time of year, "dressing up" involves a mix'n'match of the above. I do have a couple of suits, but they're usually dragged out at funerals and such. For this occasion, I'd probably go for jeans, black corduroy shirt with tweed vest, and R.M Willams boots.

And I really liked Forrest's menu - vegetarian/vegan sensibilities notwithstanding. Actually, my darling partner is a 'vegetarian' who also fortunately eats fish and dairy, and if I'm to attend this bash I'd be happiest with her at my side (and not just to keep me in check).

So there's another vote for the vegos, ay?

Hehe Bronny,
You’ll be easy to recognize in that bullet-proof hat. I hope it won’t be too hot at the day of the party!

Oh Pelly,
I can’t match your storytelling. Don’t stop, you’re painting a beautiful picture!

What a good sport you are, CJ.
Love the boots and jeans, too.

And Col’s performance sounds like great fun. I’m sure we can come up with lots of other fun games to play, too.
Dance, anyone? What’s your favourite dance? I love quickstep and jive, but we need space for that. Rock n Roll is fun, too.

I’m not fuzzed about the menu, I’d love to try anything Foxy puts in front of me, as long as I don’t have to cook it and as long as someone can top me up continuously to wash it all down! So bring it on, Foxy!
Have a great Christmas, Foxy.

Fractelle
I love these red boots. I used to have a pair that looked very similar to those. I think I lent them to my sister-in-law but she ran away in them when she divorced my brother.

I’m not sure what to wear yet, perhaps something I don’t have to feel all dolled-up in, something natural. I’m not a make-up gal either, just some lippie.
But whatever I decide to wear I’ll be wearing my Pandora jewellery because I’m obsessed about it.

I must add that Foxy's delectable sounding morsels would also have to wend their way into the menu.

Her descriptions of

<< 'bliny,' (buckwheat pancakes).... 'kulebiaka,' a flaky salmon loaf, or... one made with a cabbage filling; 'Borshch '(Beet soup... [and] 'pelmeni' (Russian dumplings filled with cheese and spinach) >>

are positively mouth-watering.

Almost as much as some of the ladies' proposed attire.

Yum.

"Hehe Bronny, You’ll be easy to recognize in that bullet-proof hat. I hope it won’t be too hot at the day of the party!"

Sheesh, Celivia, you didn't think I was actually going to wear that, did you? That suggestion was purely for the boys. I'm a demure little thing. I can have a big mouth at times and frequently put my foot in it, but I doubt very much I'll need any bullet-proof clothing. CJ and Col, on the other hand, I'm not so sure of. And who knows what Fractelle has in mind!

Foxy

I know you've disappeared for now. As with many of us, you'll be busy preparing and celebrating another special and of course much more 'real' occasion over the next week or so. I wish you and all others here a very happy festive season and look forward to taking up where we've left off once we've all recovered from C/mas and New Year celebrations.

Thank you for your wonderful efforts so far, and to Pelican too for getting our narrative off to a great start, and to everyone else who has entered into the spirit and contributed a little of themselves and their imagination. You're a great bunch!

Well, I'll leave the dress shopping for now. As one of the millions on Internet Explorer, I probably shouldn't be browsing too indiscriminately at the moment anyway, at least until I have their latest 'patch' securely in place. I'll concentrate on my Christmas shopping instead. Oh, joy!

"Sheesh, Celivia, you didn't think I was actually going to wear that, did you? That suggestion was purely for the boys."

Hee-hee just lightly teasing you, Bronwyn, (that's what hopeful thoughts about topped-up wineglasses does to my brain, and that's only virtual wine) but you're right that the hats will suit the boys much better than us, who can get away with wonderful hairdos.

I have decided what to do with my long hair.
I'll reveal it but promise not to copy me!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Fzq94YVbHHM/RuWy3XM1_tI/AAAAAAAAEVs/dFK9Ga6gl_k/s1600-h/crazy_hairdos_009.jpg

You like?

OK before the Christmas spirit will completely possess me, I will say sincerely:

Merry Christmas, everyone, this is my last night here. I'll see you all at the party (or back here on OLO) after Christmas.
Eat, drink, and be merry!
Cheers!

I loved the fun we had on this thread, Pelican, thank you.

Thank you all for your contributions to this thread which was just for a bit of fun.

I will be off the radar for a while too and wish everyone on OLO a Happy Christmas and best of health and happiness for the New Year.

Cheerio for now.
xx

Notice how all the women are dropping away as the role of Christmas workhorse beckons once again!

If I had the time and the inclination I'd start a thread and a good ding-dong argument! But sorry fellas I've got to go shop, cook, clean, wrap, decorate and whatever else I still haven't thought of.

Oddly enough though I do eventually find my Christmas spirit. In fact the harder I work the more I find it!

How stupid is that.

Pelican

Again thank you for this wonderful topic – clearly it still has much life left despite being an oldie.

Celivia - your hair has been doing steroids - thought I'd warn ya.

Bronwyn - you have nothing to fear from me - just wanna keep the men-folks in line.

To all may your Christmas feasts be even a fraction as delectable as either Foxy's or Forrest's – you will have a sensational time.

http://toons.artie.com/christmas/arg-merry-christmas-wreath-url.gif

Hey Foxy,

Happy Christmas (old style)!

Better late in the day than never. It seems nobody has noticed the likely calendular differences. Gregorian system and all that.

Looking forward to your delectable feast in due course.

Interesting to note Bronwyn's 'bad choices of words', here and there. I couldn't help noticing the capitalised 'Penthouse spread', and thought it was a 'one off', until I saw her self-description as a Christmas workhorse. Bronwyn in harness. Bloody hell! In the context, such imagery! She should choose her words (or her capitals) with more care.

BTW, in NSW, possession of body armour could get you 10 years. Did you know that? And possession of a short-barrelled S&W .38 could get your foot shot off!

Happy Gregorian Christmas reflections.