My comment was more to Banjo. It's nevertheless still true whenever the debate arises in the media or amongst sexist lobby groups

So when is a girl or boy 'READY' to be involved in sex?
How young will people want to go?

So when is a girl or boy 'READY' to be involved in sex?

Jolanda, the answer to your question depends on whether your talking about physically, mentally or emotionally. Unfortunately the physical seems to come first, and teenager's decisions to have sex usually occur before they are mentally and emotionally developed. (Even though teenagers think they are, as well as knowing everything else there is to know about life). The natural functions of reproduction don't recognise that a person is too young too have sex.

As a parent I don't like the idea about being left out of the loop but I also would rather my 14 year old be on the pill than pregnant. I would also rather she have a relationship with a GP that could advise on other issues such as STDs, pap smears etc.

It is a difficult one, because the privacy laws override the rights of parents but ultimately it is the health and interests of the child that counts.

I was lucky in that I do talk to my girls and even when my oldest at 17 revealed her sexual relationship with her boyfriend I made an appointment for her to see our GP with no conditions attached. She went to the GP by herself and got all the information she needed. As a parent, it was a bit late to make a noise after the horse had bolted so to speak and also 17 is not 14.

The truth is as parents we won't always know everything about our children including, and expecially, sex. I would be hopeful that other people in my children's life - teacher, counsellor, family friend might provide some support or advice rather than have none at all.

Jolanda: "So when is a girl or boy 'READY' to be involved in sex?
How young will people want to go?"

Maybe 14. Maybe 40. I wasn't ready until I was 20. My best friend was ready at 13. I think if we teach children about sex, how to resist peer pressure, how to choose partners wisely, how to communicate, how to develop supportive rather than manipulative friendships, how to best conduct relationships and how to trust themselves then they'll work out what the right time is for them. It may be younger that 16, but it may just as easily be older.

But, having said all that, Steel Mann makes a wise point. Our physical ability to have sex often precedes the maturity that makes it fulfilling. It's very tricky. But just because it's hard doesn't mean we should shouldn't address it.

Steel, it's presumptuous of me to give you advice, so ignore it if you like, but if you're really interested in eradicating circumcision I think there's little point in getting angry at people who haven't thought the issues through. Most people don't object to male circumcision not because they're hypocritical or sexist but because it's such a common cultural practice and they've simply never considered whether it's right or wrong. Many men want their sons circumcised so that they look "like me". I think we will eradicate circumcision eventually, but it will happen with education and persuasion, not slagging people off because they haven't given it the same amount of thought that you have.

Also I just wanted to point out that, pace some posters, having sex before the age of consent is not illegal. Having sex with someone under the age of consent is illegal.

I see the doctor having a difficult choice.

The girl is having sex, She has the right of confidentiality. He has 2 choices, not give her contraceptives and let her fall pregnant, or give them to her.

What would you prefer him to do?