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The Forum > General Discussion > Removal of Parental Rights

Removal of Parental Rights

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Whatever the parents want, they don't OWN their children. A teenagers sexuality is all their own. They have a right to explore their own sexual thoughts and feelings in private, and share their bodies with whoever they trust, should they so wish. The law is in place to prevent an unequal power balance based on age difference.

Parents really need to butt out of teenagers sex lives. Some start early, some don't and that has always been the case. If you aren't constantly looking over your kids shoulder making them feel like sex is wrong or they are living in a fish bowl, perhaps they may feel like they can approach you.

The most important thing you can teach a teenager about sex is contraception, and to value their body, and tell them they own their sexuality and it's alright to keep it private, from you and from people who would pressure them to share what they aren't ready to share.

It's inconsistent to say to your child, I own you and I control your sex, your innermost private part, and then expect the same child to have the feelings of self worth and ownership of their body to reject others that may pressure them into something they're not ready for.
Posted by Usual Suspect, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 4:31:24 PM
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Banjo,

I would have to go with Bronwyn on this. The child of 14 has her own rights which include the right to seek confidential medical advice. And if so the doctor has the duty to refuse to disclose this.

If you treat your children like your property then you will get a wake up call.
Posted by Democritus, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 9:19:06 PM
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A 14 year old child is a child.....Children are not emotionally, physically or mentally ready to engage in sex. A child of 14 should not be given rights that they are not developed and mature enough to really understand.

Many in our society do not encourage young people to wait until they are older before they engage in relationships and sex. You would have to question why?

Young people should be encouraged to wait until they are older and more self sufficient and better equipped to make good choices before they consider sex. Where is a 14 year old girl going to go to have sex? How old would her boyfriend have to be to have his own place?? If they start having sex that young, how many men does she plan on sleeping with? Young people have to understand the implications and the consequences of thier actions and long term effects.

Society seems to be Assisting youngesters to make bad choices and it isn't teaching them well. Children do not need to be involved in sex at 14 or even 15 or 16 for that matter.

I am so glad Banjo to hear that there are some sane voices in the crowd who see our children as children and don't want them to grow up before time and put them in a position where they can be easily abused.
Posted by Jolanda, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 9:58:35 PM
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Veronika,
You say the use of contraception is OK at 14 and you mentioned being realistic. Then you say that their sex lives are their own business.

Can we deduce from that you would agree to the lowering of the age of consent to 14 for both sexes?

I also wonder how the others, that expressed opinion that it was OK for the 14 yo to be given contraceptives by the GP, feel about lowering the age of consent.

Can you not see a conflict here? We have laws dictating the age of consent and our governments choose to ignore that law in allowing the child to bypass his/her parents to obtain contraceptives at age 14.
Oh well, its a bit like us having laws banning FGM. The laws are there but they have never been enforced.

In this case the government line is that giving contraceptives is in the best interests of the child. I have yet to see argument that carrying out FGM on a girl is in the best interests of the child. There is evidence aplenty that FGM is done to girls here in Aus. Governments uphold the parents rights to do this by ignoring their own laws.

I see some gross hypocracy in this.

In this particular case the mother seemed very distressed which is understandable, especially if she had thought she had a good relationship with her daughter. The government has encouraged her daughter to deceive her.

I know there are problems in dealing with children, but removing all parental rights is not the solution.

Usual Suspect,
If you believe the garbage in your last post, you are an absolute fool.

Parents are responsible for the well being of their kids until 18.
They care about if their child is having sex and who with. The childs health and well being is at stake. Parents need to butt out of teenagers sex lives. INDEED.
Posted by Banjo, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 10:33:58 PM
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Usual Suspect, see Veronika's explanation of my comment re pragmatism.

Other than that. Your last comment exactly expresses my opinion. Parents do not own their children. Parental rights seems to be often confused with ownership.

Banjo, parents have almost full say re their children when they cannot speak for themselves, as during babyhood. But this diminishes as they grow older and mature.

What do you say about parental rights when they insist on having their daughter's ears pierced when she is six and the child is screaming she doesn't want this?

What do you say to parental rights when they refuse a blood transfusion when a child is bleeding to death with no time to consult DOCS or wait for court orders?

The parents of this 14 year old should be congratulated that their daughter is at least responsible enough to seek contraception. This child is more responsible than some 20 and 30 somethings I know regarding sex.

My daughter is 14, I'd be horified if she at this young age engaged in a sexual relationship, but I'd be devastated if she was then also irresponsible and risked pregnancy.

As Usual Suspect said, parents should butt out of their teenage children's sex lives. By this stage parents had their time to pass on their values to their children. A person's virginity does not belong to their parents.

What I'm saying Banjo, is that the fact that this medication is for preventing pregnancy makes it very relevant to the discussion of whether parents should be informed or not.

The whole notion of 'age of consent' is unsatisfactory anyway. A 15 year old with another 15 year old is illegal, but a 16 year old with a 30 year old is A OK? I know which scenario I know to be exploitive and harmful and its not the 'illegal' minors.
Posted by yvonne, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 11:13:06 PM
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Yes Banjo - parental rights over their children's bodies are absolute.

At least that's what those who practise the FGM that you often bang on about would say, eh?

Has it occurred to you that the kid in question here may have had to go to the school nurse for contraceptive advice because her parents were religious fundies of some kind, or were otherwise so prudish that she felt more comfortable talking to medical personnel about her sexuality?
Posted by CJ Morgan, Tuesday, 2 September 2008 11:22:11 PM
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