Country Gal

I understand your position on this and I realised you weren't totally serious about the orphanage suggestion, more using it as a way to make a point. However, there is some merit in the idea if there was a new style of orphanage with much greater controls and modern child caring standards, world's best practice type of stuff. Yes, I'm sure there would be cynicism about whether this would work.

I know of the stories of sexual and physical abuse and neglect that many suffered in orphanages in the past. Absolutely horrific and traumatising to say the very least. But I would hope that things have improved in terms of community service delivery systems, and that there would be a dramatically better model possible. Perhaps there is a need for foster caring and orphanages, I'm not sure.

Anyway, my main reason for posting was actually to comment on the foster care examples you gave. Apart from the issue of the children being removed in both cases, surely it is not the emotionally nurturing way to go to simply take children without allowing them or the foster parents to say goodbye. Unless it was a situation of abuse by foster carers, everyone would benefit from a proper goodbye and an opportunity for closure in some way, as sad and painful as it might be. Coming to take children away from school and they never go back to the home and bed they've been used to? I wonder why this happened?

Mindful

POSSIBLE IMPACT ON THE LIVES OF CHILDREN FROM ORPHANAGES.

Before writing further, I would like to make one thing clear. Not all staff in orphanages were abusive or deviants.

During my time in the orphanage there excellent and compassionate people there. Unfortunately they usually occupied a position of little influence.

A lawyer once asked me what I thought was the impact of the brutality on me as a person.

How can I answer that?

I am the person who grew out of that experience. Although I did not commence school until I was 8 years old, I was lucky I was good at school, which brought me to the headmaster’s attention. He determined he would try to ensure I received an opportunity for a better education rather than becoming “farm fodder” (labourer) under the guardianship of a farmer until 21.

My first year of technical training I completed while in the orphanage.

At fourteen I went to live with my father when he informed me he did OK without an education. If I wanted it then go out and earn it.
Accepting the challenge I did all sorts of work, working long Hours.
Now, had I an easier life would I have been a better person or worse?
I do not know.

I became determined to go after whatever I wanted. I educated myself, built a farm and an engineering business. Selling them I invested in a manufacturing business, eventually taking over. I became a consultant to the Victorian government and later took a permanent position.

I have been a business consultant. Now retired I act as a volunteer advocate helping people less fortunate.

Other children were not as fortunate; some committed suicide or had drug and alcohol problems.

People handle adversity in different ways.

One impact of the brutality, especially from certain individuals who would have enjoyed making me cry. I turned off and built a wall around myself so no one could get near.

It has posed difficulties with relationships until I met my wife when she got through and helped me break it down.

Good on you professor, that's a great story and surely an inspiration. You're clearly one of the good, genuine people here.

Professor

Thanks for telling us more of your story. I agree, you're a good guy, and it seemed so peaceful when I read what you wrote. I know that not all people who have been through what you have are able to deal with their adversity as well as you. We must keep this in mind as we advocate for the prevention of these problems, and the services to deal with the fallout when bad things happen despite prevention measures.

Mindful

Spikey, I am happy to modify what I said a little. The public cares, but not enough to do anything about it. It comes up in the media, we all get outraged, then it falls by the wayside as the next "outrage" is exposed. I am as guilty as the majority of people out there. This little bit of raising an issue that I have seen is the little that I can do (I have difficulty in even finding the time to get back on here to see how the discussion is going, with two young kids of my own).

Mindful, the danger of too much scrutiny is that you risk driving the good, nurturing carers away. The case I highlighted happened because the foster parents were too "emotionally involved". DOCS cited the fact that the children's pictures were on the wall in the loungeroom of their foster home. This was no ordinary foster situation to start with - the girls older brother (10-ish) had recently died of cancer, whilst he was in the same foster home with them. They NEEDED as much emotional care and nurturing as they could get. The foster parents did their best to ensure a normal childhood, including taking them on family holidays (when these were not curtailed because the children's natural parents might want to see them at Christmas time etc).

The risk of less scrunity opens the doors to letting predators loose. Somewhere in between is balance, and we have yet to find it.

I was an inmate of various orphanages and foster homes from the age of three until 17.I was a lot happier and better cared for in the orphanages than the foster homes, where the sons and fathers were the ones who thought it was their right to molest me. I believe that we should once again have orphanages but with better control and more stringent checks on the staff and their treatment of the children.I was also in numerous reform schools(that is another story).I remember being shuffled from one foster home to another and wondering why no-one wanted me.Far better to be kept in the one place where you at least have a chance to form frienships with the other inmates.If the children in homes were interviewed by outside supervisors periodically without the staff of those orphanages being present i believe we could solve the problem of abuse in those places.I have spent most of my life wondering how to help the children and i firmly believe,bringing back orphanages is the only way.I have many friends who were in the same boat as myself as children and the majority agree with me.