Haralambos, “…being there for someone is a normal human response. But how often does this happen, epecially towards a person who's depressed?”

Haralambos, I missed your previous suicide thread so I took the time to read it. I agree that there is a need for a campaign about suicide.

In your other thread you said, “…the reality is that if they did (care), and if they showed it to those who are suffering, suicide wouldn't be a problem.”
I have to agree with what Romany and Yvonne said there, that there are many people who care. But it’s not so simple…someone who feels suicidal will have to somehow let other people know how he/she is feeling and not be afraid to ask for help. That is one thing that needs to be made clear in a campaign- not only for people to be sensitive to others around them, but also for people who can’t cope with life or with their emotions, to reach out. It’s a two-way street.

My daughter knew a boy who committed suicide and nobody knew that he was feeling desperate or depressed. He was an average student, was fairly quiet but did have some friends. He never opened up to anyone. It was a shock to his parents, his family, his friends as they all thought he was quite content with life.

Eftfnc,
Any sham treatment can have a placebo effect.

“I was disappointed with most of the replies.”

Why?

You asked and people responded, your disappointment is entirely yours to deal with, just as I am disappointed so many people voted with their emotions at the last general election – my problem to deal with – and since dealt with.

“What this means is that we owe it to each other to get along”

It appears to me the ones who do not want to “get along” as you put it are the ones who selfishly decide to suicide.

I said such when one of my daughters pulled a pretend suicide stunt. I told her loudly and some would say brutally (but sometimes brutality is needed to get through to an individual) that she was being unacceptably selfish to the people who loved her and her conduct was not that which I would tolerate from any child of mine.

My approach, along with counselling worked. I am damn sure pandering to her bad behaviour would have only encouraged more bad behaviour.

We can all find reasons for depression, sometimes it is a chemical imbalance, sometimes it is an attitude of unfulfilled expectation or right.

I can tell what works for me,

Care for yourself first, your love ones second, your friends third and that will keep you busy.

The best way to deal with depression is not to expect others to care for you but to project and promote caring for those you know personally. Then what goes around comes around.

When I returned from USA in 2001, I was depressed, buried beneath an emotional train wreck. I found I had 12 friends who cared enough to go out of their way to help me.

I had in the past, cared for them too but doubly now because I know how much difference it makes.

Six degrees of separation ensure everyone in the world is potentially cared for; but only if

they care enough for others themselves.

Haralambos

I know only too well how indifferent people can appear to be sometimes, it is not because they don't care, but more because they don't understand or cannot empathise. They are not being deliberately cruel.

Below is an extract of a fact sheet from the Mental Health Information Service:

"
FACTS ABOUT SUICIDE

Suicide does not happen instantaneously. People who have become suicidal are usually suffering from an illness of the brain, such as clinical depression, bipolar depression, anxiety or schizophrenia. This means that it can be treated, although many people think they can't be helped. If depression is recognised and treated, suicidal thoughts can be eliminated and many suicides can be prevented.

Suicide is always a desperate choice made by a person who is feeling overwhelmed by distress. Helping that person survive the period of turmoil when other alternatives are not clear is the most important thing we can do."

Here is some advice to people who would like to help:

"Knowing how NOT to react can also help. Whilst these are all normal reactions, try to avoid using them, don't:

Panic or dramatise the situation
Punish them or get angry
Ignore them, they are calling for help!
Criticise them, it'll only add to their feelings of low self-worth
Preach to them or blame them for feeling the way they do - feelings just 'are', they are neither right nor wrong
Use a quick fix approach or miracle cures - they don't exist, it can takes time and support from friends, family and professional assistance.

Where to Get Help

Beyondblue info line 1300 22 4636
Salvo Suicide Prevention - (02) 9331 6000
Lifeline - 131 114
Kids Helpline - 1800 551 800
Your local doctor
Your local Mental Health Centre Crisis Team (See Community Health Centres in your White Pages)
Mental Health Information Service - 1300 794 991
Australian Psychological Society - 18000 333 497"

I hope this is of help to you.

Hi David,

Depression's not about being needy. Its about being closed off, isolated, and shut out. Most people, you included, don't see this. Now depression is a medical condition, otherwise it would not be treated as such. Medication is needed at times, and counselling too. Small steps are the way to recovery, but a helping hand would benefit too.

Hi Belly,

You are so right, it doesn't take much. Just taking the time to listen helps. Its not too much to ask, is it?

Hi Fractelle,

Meditation is very good. When I was depressed, and suicidal, I practiced regularly. In fact, it saved me from a third suicide attempt. That was four years ago. Since then I've done alot of soul searching. I also did the tune in and drop out thing for a couple of years. I now know myself better, and am happier than ever. Keep meditating, it works.