Dear Paul,

«What would you expect him to do, let her die.»

It is not for me to expect anything of Mhaze:
just like his relative has her choice, he too has the free choice to act morally or otherwise.
All I was saying was that IF Mhaze wanted to act morally and do the right thing by his relative, then s/he should have explained the grim facts to her and asked her whether or not she wanted to be taken to hospital, then to a nursing home - and then follow her wishes.

«sometime back you were calling for the extinction of 97% (I calculated) of the worlds population.»

Why only 97% - ALL human beings are destined to die, 100%.
But I did not call for killing anyone - that would happen by itself!
The only question was whether and to what extent to replace them who die.
It is there that I expressed my view that replacement should be reduced in such a way that the world's human population comes down (within some century or two) to 100-200 million people.

Yuyutsu,

The woman had dementia - diagnosed three separate times by three separate professionals. As such she was incapable of making a rational decision about her future or her best interests.

That is the purpose of a guardianship document - for people to make rational decisions while still able to do so about who they trust to make decisions on their behalf when they are no longer capable of doing so. In this case, I'd had long conversations with her prior to her executing the guardianship document about what she'd like to see happen in the event of her deterioration.

From what you've written, it seems you have little experience as regards people in their declining years. Unfortunately there is a prevalence in the world today for people to speak forcefully and with full moral authority on things they are utterly ignorant of. Leaving people who are no longer capable of independent living to wallow in their squalor out of some misguided belief in their independent rights is neither moral nor caring.

Decisions made by loved ones about the best interests of the slowly dying aren't questions that the outside puritan has a say in. Might I suggest spending a few visits to your local nursing home to see the state of people there and find out why they are there.

After my mothers health was destroyed by the dreadful people employed as weekend nursers at a large southern Brisbane public hospital, she never walked. From independent in her granny flat to totally bed bound by Queensland health in a few days. I wouldn't feed most public health people.

The nursing home was great, doing everything they could for her, but she hated the life style. I couldn't even take her for a drive, as it was too hard to get her into a car. I know, we tried, she was just too frail to man handle safely.

Dear Mhaze,

If you discussed your relative's wishes in advance and she told you that she would want to be in a nursing home in these circumstances and has not told you otherwise since, then all is settled and fine. You can only go by your sincere best guess of her wishes.

I already visit nursing homes since my orchestra plays in them regularly.
We try to alleviate their suffering with music and make them smile for a moment, even sing along, but it is not a place I would want to be in myself.

My own choice would be to be cared for privately at home, just as my elder relatives in other countries were cared for in their last years by a dedicated private carer. The Australian government doesn't allow it, so my second choice is to be allowed to die peacefully in my own home.

"as it was too hard to get her into a car. I know, we tried, she was just too frail to man handle safely."

Yep, I know what that's like. The woman I speak of was also too frail to walk from her bed even to a chair in the same room. So in the nursing home she needed to burly blokes to get out of bed and into a wheel chair each morning and night. Also to lift her onto the loo.

I was able to take her out IF I was able to find a second relative to help get to to and from the car seat.

Yet Yuyutsu seems to think we could have (and should have) hired some little Filipino girl to do all that on daily basis.

"my elder relatives in other countries were cared for in their last years by a dedicated private carer. The Australian government doesn't allow it,"

That's utterly untrue. The one thing the Australian government most wants is for people to remain at home for as long as possible because of the cost of subsidising nursing home care. If someone wants to self-fund home care, not only would the government not stop it, they'd welcome it.

Dear Mhaze,

«Yet Yuyutsu seems to think we could have (and should have) hired some little Filipino girl to do all that on daily basis.»

There is a small bedside crane designed specifically for lifting patients from bed to a wheelchair and vice-versa. For example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMnpCOJ5zHA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzouYWmAJSk

Even a little Filipino girl (and some are not that little) can operate that crane, several times a day even.

«If someone wants to self-fund home care, not only would the government not stop it, they'd welcome it.»

They may say they do, but they won't allow a visa for the carer (unless they are a family member). There are millions of Philipinas and Philipinos alone, let alone Sri-Lankans, Indians, Vietnamese and Africans who are eager to come and stay with and care for an elderly person in their home for a modest salary. They have free 6-month training courses available before they arrive, arranged by work-agencies in the hosting countries - the only thing stopping them from coming to Australia is the lack of visa.

Note also that people in other countries who are not sure they will be able to financially afford an appropriate overseas carer should they need one in their final years, can take in advance a special insurance policy for that event.