This argument exemplifies my original point... surely, if Hasbeen and his wife find that structure to their relationship to be right for them, what right does anyone have to call him a bully, or her a doormat?

And I, like Cornflower, agree that many of his comments were meant to be tongue-in-cheek. I don't think he is actually calling career women 'ghastly'. Humour doesn't always translate well in text, but I think from the whole tone, he is making the point that while much has been gained for women (and men), much has been lost along the way - something I think anyone would agree with.

Dr Claire Kelly

Some might enjoy a chuckle at Hasbeen’s scenario about the power and the glory of being a fifties wife, but I sensed an underlying malice in the humour. That’s my right as a human being ... as it is Miranda's. Just because someone is writing tongue in cheek does not oblige us all to find them funny. I would say that’s a ‘choice’. Wouldn’t you?

‘…if Hasbeen and his wife find that structure to their relationship to be right for them, what right does anyone have to call him a bully, or her a doormat’.

That also works in reverse. If many women find that feminism and the struggle for women's equality with men gives structure and purpose to their lives, then they have the right to voice their views without being patronized as ‘silly girls’ or bullied by vindictive accusations of hating men and despising stay-at-home mums - as often happens.

Cornflower

‘… In any event, look around you and you will find that many, not some, women rejoice in the choice of managing a household, caring for a family and in many cases, involving themselves in the cottage industries that go with it.’

Fine. And many – not some – women rejoice in feminism and the challenge of renegotiating a gender relations structure that fits the changing times. Many women love the challenges, the insights and mental stimulation feminism brings them – as well as the friendships and cameraderie. Many women can genuinely say – myself included - that feminism has brought enormous benefit to them as wives, as mothers, as professionals and as citizens.

While insisting on the right of women to choose the life they want, your posts regularly deny this right to feminists – who are, after all, just choosing to live the life they want based on a philosophy they believe in.

Fair enough!

Sorry to have caused offense.

SJF

No, there is no diabolical trickery or plot against (your brand of) feminism. Do really need to wear your belt so ridiculously high?

It is just a romantic comedy and a bit of fun, so try to sit back and enjoy it.

I am not sorry you have your dander up because you did that to yourself and you alone have to take responsibility for your choices in life.

Hasbeen, I know a few of those ghastly career women, they have a chip on their shoulder larger than the sydney harbour bridge.

Not all, some!

If they don't get their way, they blame the patriarchial oppression in order to win.

I know a few blokes who go and hide in the toilet, some place safe.

Mind you there a few particularly nasty blokes as well.

Thanks for the sense of humour, & the support you blokes. The vitriol may have got me, with out it. Some of those responses, were pretty silly. How could they take my post that way?

For the record, when I met my wife, she was a paying passenger/crew on an American cruising yacht. She was taking time out from a pretty high powered career. It was she that draged me back out into the islands. After 50,000 miles, mostly single handed, I was getting tired of the Pacific ocean jumping on my head, every time I went out of sight of land.

Still, the sight of a huge tropic moon, comming up out of a calm Solomon sea is best shared, so it was fun.

It was she who talked me into the tourist industry, where we did have a lot of fun. It was she who argued that 46 was not too old to become a father, & then, after the second kid, decided that the tourists were fun, but we needed more income now.

It was me who spent 8 years, running a farm, just out of town, being Mr mum, doing the tuckshop thing, while she returned to her career, in a major regional city.

Then, after yet another baby, she wanted to stay home, & play mum, so we had to move to the big smoke, the only place my rather rusty professional skills were in demand. The farm couldn't keep us.

Now I tend our 20 acres, populated by 3 horses, 2 dogs, one cat, 3 birds, & quite a few fish, left behind by those kids, as they spread their wings, while she runs around playing grand mother.

I have spent the last 36 years of my life catering to one lady's dreams, & desires, but that's OK, I'd all ready fulfilled mine, when I met her.

Dose that make me a SNAG, or just a wimp? I don't know, or care. You see, as well as never being able to understand women, I've never given a damn what other people think of me.