Valerie Yule,
I find Valeri Yules articles extremely interesting, thought provoking and a pleasure to read.

Human children need a long period to mature compared to most other animals, so they need a secure environment.

State care of children has proven a failure wherever tried. De facto relationships are normally short lived, and are not much better than single parenting for raising children. Single parenting is too expensive for everyone else to fund. The abduction of children from fathers is non-sustainable. The children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce themselves, thereby creating a downward spiral.

Long term marriage seems the best option, and it is how most societies survived. Almost twice the rate of children are born inside of marriage than outside of marriage, and if a society does not support long term marriage, it is eventually taken over by a society that does.

Survival of the fittest.

In the bad old days before welfare and enforced child support. Marriages were in place to bond a man to a woman, for the reason that a single woman's children had little chance of survival.

Marriage forever, is no longer as necessary for survival.

Yes, Democritus, that is what the article states. It also sets out personal advantages for affectionate reliable permanent relationships, when these are possible. It is unfortunate that so often they are not.

Oxideas,
Someone can now walk into and out of a relationship in this country with no questions asked. The only difference is that a woman can take the man’s children and money with her, but the man cannot take the woman’s children and money with him.

Eventually such a system collapses when not enough children are born in that society.

We don’t know much about previous societies that are similar to ours, because they didn’t last for very long.

Can anything be done to prevent the legal and social messes we can get our relationships into?

Um….how about staying single? Or if you are silly enough to dabble in marriage and get burnt, being smart enough to never go there again?

I was married in 1988 after a six-year relationship, single in 1989….and happily single ever since.

And no bloomin rugrats to worry about…or to drive you crackers!

Yarhoo!! That’s the life! (:>)

“The main question, among several questions, about forms of marriage or no-marriage is not morality, but what is the best form of child rearing for modern societies.”

Perhaps this should be the secondary question, Valerie.

Let’s not take child-rearing as the bottom line here. Let’s take overall quality of life.

Child-rearing should be entirely optional, and not be seen as something that has to be done in order to achieve a fulfilled or purposeful life, or be seen to do so by your peers or by society in general.

Perhaps the main question should be something like; what is the best form of marriage or no-marriage for us to achieve rewarding relationships and a good life?....without having to suffer devastating break-ups, or feel a heavy pressure not to be promiscuous, homosexual, asexual, etc, if you are inclined in any of those directions.

Protecting our children from sexual abuse.
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Once-upon-a-time, Paedophiles simply joined the Church or become a teacher or to get access to vulnerable boys to abuse. But these organisations have made this extremely dangerous now.

But now cunning and evil pedophiles have found a safer and easier way to get into the bedrooms of innocent children. Simply romance a single mum and get her kids as a bonus!

Children NEED BOTH PARENTS to be safe from abuse, since

We all know that smoking causes cancer, right? Well, smoking increases the risk of lung cancer by only 125%... But there is a cause-and-effect there.

Well, children living in vulnerable single-parent homes have an increased risk of being abused by 23,000% !

Living with mum and 'mummies-new-boyfriend' is the most dangerous type of household for vulnerable kids.

Protect children's human right to be cared for by both their NATURAL PARENTES and you will protect them from sexual abuse. And emotional abuse. And neglect. And child homicide - look into all the stories of kids horribly abused and murdered - almost always the child is living with mum and "mummies-new-boyfriend"