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The Forum > Article Comments > Marriages for the modern world > Comments

Marriages for the modern world : Comments

By Valerie Yule, published 16/7/2008

Can anything be done to prevent the legal and social messes we can get our relationships into?

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Valerie Yule,
I find Valeri Yules articles extremely interesting, thought provoking and a pleasure to read.

Human children need a long period to mature compared to most other animals, so they need a secure environment.

State care of children has proven a failure wherever tried. De facto relationships are normally short lived, and are not much better than single parenting for raising children. Single parenting is too expensive for everyone else to fund. The abduction of children from fathers is non-sustainable. The children of divorced parents are more likely to divorce themselves, thereby creating a downward spiral.

Long term marriage seems the best option, and it is how most societies survived. Almost twice the rate of children are born inside of marriage than outside of marriage, and if a society does not support long term marriage, it is eventually taken over by a society that does.

Survival of the fittest.
Posted by HRS, Wednesday, 16 July 2008 11:11:01 AM
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In the bad old days before welfare and enforced child support. Marriages were in place to bond a man to a woman, for the reason that a single woman's children had little chance of survival.

Marriage forever, is no longer as necessary for survival.
Posted by Democritus, Wednesday, 16 July 2008 7:58:02 PM
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Yes, Democritus, that is what the article states. It also sets out personal advantages for affectionate reliable permanent relationships, when these are possible. It is unfortunate that so often they are not.
Posted by ozideas, Thursday, 17 July 2008 10:21:06 AM
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Oxideas,
Someone can now walk into and out of a relationship in this country with no questions asked. The only difference is that a woman can take the manís children and money with her, but the man cannot take the womanís children and money with him.

Eventually such a system collapses when not enough children are born in that society.

We donít know much about previous societies that are similar to ours, because they didnít last for very long.
Posted by HRS, Thursday, 17 July 2008 12:49:15 PM
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Can anything be done to prevent the legal and social messes we can get our relationships into?

UmÖ.how about staying single? Or if you are silly enough to dabble in marriage and get burnt, being smart enough to never go there again?

I was married in 1988 after a six-year relationship, single in 1989Ö.and happily single ever since.

And no bloomin rugrats to worry aboutÖor to drive you crackers!

Yarhoo!! Thatís the life! (:>)
Posted by Ludwig, Thursday, 17 July 2008 10:30:56 PM
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ďThe main question, among several questions, about forms of marriage or no-marriage is not morality, but what is the best form of child rearing for modern societies.Ē

Perhaps this should be the secondary question, Valerie.

Letís not take child-rearing as the bottom line here. Letís take overall quality of life.

Child-rearing should be entirely optional, and not be seen as something that has to be done in order to achieve a fulfilled or purposeful life, or be seen to do so by your peers or by society in general.

Perhaps the main question should be something like; what is the best form of marriage or no-marriage for us to achieve rewarding relationships and a good life?....without having to suffer devastating break-ups, or feel a heavy pressure not to be promiscuous, homosexual, asexual, etc, if you are inclined in any of those directions.
Posted by Ludwig, Saturday, 19 July 2008 8:30:04 AM
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