Keep up your present good work,Keith.

As one going on 88, reckon Slim Dusty's Looking back and looking Forward is a good way us Aussies should look at life.

Just right now with China's thirst for our resources we have never been so lucky.

Just wonder, however, will it be as good for our great grandkids when our quarry economy runs out?

Cheers, BB - WA

Continued...

Women have challenged and changed many things, mostly for the better for all, but some things cannot be changed. Women in my view do seek security, and please don't misunderstand. I don't think they overwhelmingly seek security in relationships, marriage and children ... but they do seek the comfort of security in what ever form … more than do men. Men don't have such a great need. I am not judgemental for I too at times seek security but my overwhelming search is for challenge, be it intellectual, physical, emotional or just being 'out-there'. I think you'd agree that's an accurate and fundamental difference in our respective gender make up.

In the last 30 years society has become less daring and more concerned with making things 'safe'. That doesn't suit me or most of the men I know. I know it discourages all the things that make me a man. I'd have had real worries for myself if I'd been raised to believe 'safety first' and then suddenly been confronted with a world in which men, as a matter of course, take risks.

That would be really scary.

My mother never raised me like that. She made sure I was always appropriately challenged in as many ways as possible. She let me grow into the world she knew. She was well read and liberal minded but a mother first. She loved the circumstances of her marriage, home and family ... she luxuriated in its security, until her untimely death.

I think the changes women and attitudes have under-gone are great but I think along with those changes there has become an imbalance, which has been progressive. I believe that imbalance is in women's and especially mother's expectations, of how they are applied to their husbands, their husbands’ relationships with youngsters and finally to their male children.

I think that attitude is overly influencing in our laws and our society. I think it is no mere coincidence it has assumed increasing influence as the role and influence of women has increased in this public life.

I think the inconsistency between the ‘safety first’ attitude and the real life experiences of men is more of an influence on youth suicide. It is certainly more relevant than the commercial and political influences you assert.

And as for taking personal responsibility … well that’s something that really does need re-evaluation today. But I sense you’d agree with me when I say that finger pointing and blame absolutely destroys any sense of acceptance of responsibility for one’s own actions … and more especially so when suicide is involved.

Kieth – I see you have put a great deal of thought into this and apologise that I have simply not had the opportunity to reply until now.

First, let me say that issues such as the way young men are treated as an homogenous group and the mate thing were brought up time and time again by the guys with whom I have been dealing over the years.

I’ve stated elsewhere that I have been associated with mental health, youth suicide and support groups for years

. “I don’t want him to be my mate, I want him to be my Dad”, “My sister/s get Princess and Love and Sweetheart – all I’ve ever got from him is Mate” “I reckon he calls me mate because he can’t remember my real bloody name” “He calls everyone from the postman to total strangers Mate, - why can’t he treat me like I’m important?”….are a selection of typical comments.

Its good to know you and your friends are well adjusted, so, thank god, are the majority of men. However, its not the majority we are dealing with here - its those who haven’t, in your words, (and for a variety of reasons), “developed expectations for themselves”. As you so rightly say, these are the ones who “ will become muddled, lost and susceptible to self-harm in any of its forms. And the same probably applies to women”.
So who I mix with? Well, apart from my personal friends, its my students and hundreds of troubled people over the years, as well as those in the depths of despair.

Now the “risk-taking”? (I had to giggle at your idea of me as one of the nanny brigade: - nothing, I assure you, could be further from the truth). I should have qualified that: what is referred to as risk-taking behaviour amongst people who are not mentally stable (i.e. potential or attempted suicides) are such things as playing “chicken” on the highway, playing Russian Roulette etc. -…not buying a Ducatti ( more power to your friend!)or bungee jumping or riding bicycles without helmets!

Feminist newfound concern for her sons is a fascinating concept. I was wondering when it would come, and what Romany may have to say. Very insightful too, that Yvonne would wish more could be nurses.

Momentarily, I thought why not – not enough of them may be medical specialists just yet, but female doctors surely verge on outnumbering their male counterparts. If not right now, it’s just a matter of time before they emerge out of that particular professional production pipeline. Male nurses will then find themselves in the right place at the right time. A powerful new social demographic: “the doctor’s husbands”.

But then I recall a chance revelation of a “wise” old feminist war tart audibly declaring her usually silent credo of “feminise or demonise”. That could also explain much.

Hi Cireena,

No need for any apology. I often have better things to do too ... especially when I feel the breeze and the sea beckoning seductively.

I can undestand how this 'mate' thing gains such a significance. And you expressed it well. Though I think it may be reflective of an inability to express sensivity rather than a cause of a problem. I see it as probably a symptom... And I think it likely more so among those youngsters who've had insensitive or uncommunative dads. Ahh's there's the problem...

I enjoy giggling women ... especially nannies. Giggling used as both adjective and verb. You write with unusual insight, maturity and well.

Looking with hindsight, my comment about who you mix with, could have been taken as an unkind jibe. Thanks for not reading it as such.

With my usual dry hunour and Aussie way, I'd have to say if I'd said
'...apart from my personal friends, its my students and hundreds of troubled people over the years, as well as those in the depths of despair.'
I'd have added the word other in the appropriate places.:-)

Btw my mate with the Ducati is a half-wit. The other day he was driving at 30kph down the middle of the road with a great big melon on his head and hundreds of angry commuters behind him. Not funny? Well the same bloke rode bicycles competitively in Europe and can often be seen racing around locally on his bicycle at over 80kp with a little bit of leather on his head .

With your qualification your article takes on another angle and helps it become more/very relevant. Ta.